Tales from the Treasure Chest of Sir Bandeon, The Storytelling Pirate

LyoraLyora Member Posts: 40 Capable
During a recent visit to Celest, I had the pleasure of bumping into @Bandeon who recounted many tales of his fellow Celestians (okay - only 2 stories, both about @Romaan but I will collect more!)

I call the first one -

SIR ROMAAN, A CUCUMBER AND THREE MAIDENS

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "'ello. Back again, are ye?"

You say, "How are you?"

You say, "One moment."

You say, "I seem to have lost my protege!"

You say, "We are visiting Celest."

You blink.

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Aye? Ye do seem ta be by yer lonesome."

You say, "Actually..he appears to have left."

You blink.

Bandeon chuckles long and heartily.

You say, "Silly boy."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says to Romaan, "Heard ye were givin' out yer life story."

Romaan beams broadly at you.

"Heh heh heh" Romaan chuckles.

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge says, "Not much to tell."

Romaan nods his head sagely.

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Well there was the part where ye rescued the three maidens
in the tower, an' they insisted on repayin' ye by... well, ladies present."

Romaan beams broadly.

You blink.

You say, "What?"

You say, "I have not heard this story!"

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Or tha' time ye fought the dragon with naught but a
toothpick, a piece o' rope, an' the dew o' a thi...."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "... The Nil was tha'?"

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge says to you, "Don't encourage him! He get to storytelling
then..."

Romaan subjects Bandeon to a merciless teasing.

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Ach, ye nae 'eard the story?"

Romaan tilts his head and listens intently to Bandeon.

You shake your head at Bandeon.

You say to Bandeon, "Share!"

You wag your tail happily.

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "So Sir Romaan was journeyin' in the Inner Sea, as 'e does
sometimes because o' 'is medical condition where 'is skin dries out. Verra serious, 'e 'is an
inspiration ta us all, when 'e 'eard from beneath the waves a crashin' an' a wailin' like ta make
any man scared fer 'is life."

You give a trillingly melodic laugh.

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge says, "I have not heard this story and apparently I was
there."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Sir Romaan was nae afeared, though, for 'e 'ad with 'im
'is mighty blade, made o' one sheet o' paper folded three t'ouasand times ta a razor edge.
Admittedly 'twas a bit soggy, but 'e hardened it with 'is pure determination an' dove inta the
depths."

You laugh melodically at Romaan.

Romaan stares at Sir Bandeon with a rapt look.

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "On the bottom o' the sea, 'e saw the most curious o'
sights. A tower, made entirely out o' spun glass, an' bein' attacked by a monstrous, five headed sea
cucumber."

You giggle happily at Romaan.

Romaan gives a horrified gasp.

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge exclaims, "Not a sea cucumber!"

You say to Romaan, "And you say you're boring."

"Pssshhhh..." you say.

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge says, "I am."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "From the highest tower, 'e 'eard the sweetest o' cries,
an' glimpsed a fair hand thrust through the window in supplication. Did our brave Sir Romaan run?
Nae, 'e drew 'is paper sword (albeit a bit soggy, cause water, ye ken), an' strove ta attack the
beast!"

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "The battle was horrendous, an' tidal waves wracked the
whole Basin as these two titans struggled beneath the sea."

Romaan snickers softly to himself.

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge mutters, "Tit...."

Romaan looks up into the air for divine inspiration.

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge says, "Titans."

Romaan peers at himself unscrupulously.

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "The moon quaked in he sky, stars fell, an' milk
spontenously turned inta cheese!"

You blink incredulously at Romaan.

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Also mebbe a cow gave birth ta a snake an' things o' tha'
kidney, ye ken."

You blink.

You say, "Now I am just lost.."

Romaan gives a horrified gasp.

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge asks, "No more milk?"

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "An' finally, Sir Romaan smote the cucumber a mighty blow
on it's central head! As the beast withered, it cursed 'im ta ne'er be able ta find 'is left sock,
fer all o' eterenity."

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge exclaims, "So that is what happened to it!"

"Wow!" Romaan exclaims!

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "As the beast died, three beautiful kelpie maidens came
down from the tower ta proffer thanks, an' ta offer Sir Romaan a boon."

Romaan tilts his head and listens intently to Bandeon.

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge asks, "What was it?"

Romaan's eyes raise to the heavens as a look of hope flashes across his face.

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "The first maiden offered 'im a lock o' 'er seaweed hair,
which would keep 'im safe from all attacks by hunnert foot starfishes."

Your eyes sparkle with amusement.

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "The second maiden offered 'im 'er golden hankerchief,
which would show nae boogies t'all."

"Nice!" Romaan says with an enthusiastic thumbs up.

You blink.

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge exclaims, "I always wanted one of them!"

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "An' the third maiden offered 'im a kiss from 'er red lips,
which would cure 'im o' any embarassin' personal problems, an' also be somethin' ta brag about ta
the lads if Sir Romaan was the kind ta kiss an' tell."

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge asks, "What was the third thing?"

Romaan blushes furiously.

Your eyes sparkle with amusement at Romaan.

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge says to Bandeon, "One question, Sir?"

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "'owever, Sir Romaan was too noble ta accept these gifts,
an' instead left the ladies 'is paper sword, ten thousand gallons o' highly flammable liquid, an' a
torch what burns underwater, an' tole 'em ta get off their purty arses an' defend themselves."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Aye?"

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge asks Bandeon, "Why don't I remember any of this?"

You give a trillingly melodic laugh.

You say to Romaan, "Did you really do that? That's not very nice to the ladies!"

Romaan hums a happy tune.

"Tsk, tsk," you say as you waggle a finger and scold the world in general.

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says to Romaan, "Oh, tha's because o' yer adventures in the Caves
o' Horrible Memory Eatin' Squirrel-Penguins."

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge says to you, "Remember the part where I most closely
associate with Shakiniel."

Comprehension flashes across Romaan's face.

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge exclaims to Bandeon, "I remember them!"

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge says, "Very scary creatures."

Bandeon nods his head sagely.

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Aye, it be a verra appropriately named place."

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge says, "Horrible, sharp pointy ears and no teeth. They gum
you to forget."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "The worst part, I think ,be the part where they try ta
throw the memories back up inta yer ears."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "It's messy fer all involved."

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge says, "And you have this horrible stench from their breath."

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge says, "And slobber...gods, do they slobber."

Your eyes sparkle with amusement at Romaan.

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Well aye, they mostly feed on the memories o' drunkards
an' the occasional tax collector."

You say to Romaan, "Will you take me on one of your adventures some time?"

You wag your tail happily.

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge exclaims to Bandeon, "So that is what happened to all the
tax collectors!"

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge says to you, "I sure would."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Jus' remember tha' e'ery Sir Romaan adventure ends with
somethin' explodin' dramatically."

Romaan nods his head sagely.

You ponder the situation.

You say to Romaan, "Well you better make sure that exploding something is not me or we can't be
friends anymore!"

You hop up and down on Romaan's foot.

"Ooowwwww!", Romaan whines.

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge says, "Odd things will be exploding but certainly not you."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Ta be fair, it's only a pretty girl about two out o' three
times."

You stare implacably about yourself.

You shake your head at Romaan.

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Poor Mrs. Romaans numbers one through twenty three. Ye
shall be missed."

Opening your mouth wide, you gape in wonder at Romaan.

You say, "Woman-killer."

Romaan blinks perplexedly for a moment before emitting a confused "Wha?"

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge says, "Wasn't my fault."

You say, "Perhaps if I look like a man, that will decrease my chances of exploding?"

Romaan gives a horrified gasp.

Bandeon shrugs helplessly.

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Nae 'elped Mrs. Romaan 19."

Romaan says, "Pssshhhh..."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Shoulders like a plow horse, tha' one."

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge says to Bandeon, "That was just gas and you know it."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Ta be fair, she did grow a fine mustache."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says to Romaan, "Aye, but ye lit the match."

"Shhh!" Romaan hisses softly.

You stare implacably at Romaan.

You say to Romaan, "I....I don't think I want to go any adventures with you anymore."

"Awwwww!" Romaan says.

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge says, "I haven't blown anyone up in years."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Jus' nae eat beans aforehand an' bring a supply o' left
socks."

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge says to you, "See, quite the storyteller."

The corners of Bandeon's mouth turn up as he grins mischievously.

You snicker softly to yourself.

You say to Bandeon, "I think I will be visiting you more."

You wag your tail happily.

Comments

  • EveriineEveriine Wise Old Swordsbird / Brontaur Three Lakes, WIMember Posts: 2,762 Transcendent
    @Bandeon is indeed a great storyteller :) .
    Everiine is a man, and is very manly. This MAN before you is so manly you might as well just gender bend right now, cause he's the manliest man that you ever did see. His manly shape has spurned many women and girlyer men to boughs of fainting. He stands before you in a manly manerific typical man-like outfit which is covered in his manly motto: "I am a man!"

    Daraius said: You gotta risk it for the biscuit.

    Pony power all the way, yo. The more Brontaurs the better.
  • GabriellaGabriella Member Posts: 449 Fabled
    I want to be this man's friend.
    --------
    "You are so much bigger than you think you are," She says, fervently. "You are a beacon of hope that shines through the world with every step you take. You are My beacon, Gabriella, and you shine even into the darkest of nightmares."
    --------
    The air sparkles with silver motes of light as a silken voice says, "You will see growth and strength where others will see weakness. You will walk with Us as a paragon of Serenwilde's power, for you have already walked this path before."
  • BandeonBandeon Member Posts: 61 Capable
    To be fair, for every Romaan and the Cucumber there is like 4 bad stories. So... friendship may not be in the best interests of all involved. ;)
  • TarkentonTarkenton Traitor Bear Member Posts: 2,555 Transcendent
    *rolls orclach nekotai, customizes nekai to have a short description of red hot pokers*
    image
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