Hallifax Faction Proposal - The HELP files

As always, please post or message me feedback, either way works. We want to make sure your voice is heard and discuss what comes up. There was some discussion in clan about drafting HELPs with a little more descriptive language to them, you can do that here now, but we wanted to make sure we got these to the forums at-large sooner than later. Please provide all comments/feedback by Thursday night at midnight GMT. Which is technically February 10th, Friday, midnight.


[ HELP CONSORTIUM ]
The Skylark Consortium for Collaborative Advancement is an independent research institute and think tank, composed of the greatest scientific and mercantile minds cooperating to advance the Collective's interests and influence. Founded by the corporations of Hallifax as a conglomeration of business interests, scholars and experimentalists, the Consortium seeks to expand its knowledge and mastery of natural phenomena, including temporal mechanics, with which it has historical expertise. Utilising the time-honoured methods of philosophical inquiry, scientific analysis, and commercial enterprise, they are able to both fund and pursue their discoveries and ideals.

Named in honour of the Skylark Company and its pursuit of excellence in protecting Hallifax, the members of the Consortium also continue this tradition, working to ensure the success, prosperity and longevity of the Collective. Persevering in the name of innovation, it is a home to the ambitious and resourceful who enjoy breaking down barriers to novel ideas and theories.


[ HELP ADHERENTS ]
Established in [insert date here], the Adherents of Adom are a formal organisation devoted to following the example of Cririk Adom. Over six hundred years before the return of the City of Hallifax, Adom gave the order that would ensure the Beacon of Harmony survived the Taint Wars. Six hundred years later, he saved his city for a second time. Finding himself reborn unexpectedly with the return of Hallifax and Gaudiguch, Adom ensured that the Beacon of Harmony would prosper no matter what - even preserving his own body that his knowledge would enrich Hallifax through the ages.

Therefore, just as Adom once did, the Adherents consider it their duty to ensure the preservation and prosperity of the Beacon of Harmony for generations to come. They value structure and order, holding strongly to concepts put down in the Collectivist Manifesto: that freedom is a lie, and that only law will ensure the wellbeing of the Collective. Methodical work, extensive reasoning and a logical approach to all aspects of life are traits commonly found in Adom's followers.


[ HELP AERIE ]
Founded by the Collective under the watchful eye of its Master Artists to encourage cultivation of the Higher Emotions, the Grand Aerie for Harmonious Refinement serves to further the ideals of the Collective by exemplifying beneficence and dignity, in word and action. The Aerie's charter includes a mandate for altruistic endeavours, through which they disseminate their beliefs and ideals throughout and beyond the Collective. Through such altruism, performed in order to enact their vision of Harmony and Beauty, its members aim to transcend the mundane and to quiet the chaos of lesser communities by elevating all to their version of perfection.

Originally funded through the State, with donations by the Clarramore Family in memory of Jilai Clarramore, founder of the acclaimed Hallifaxian Opera Symphony, the masters of the other artists' galleries subsequently provided artistic resources and expertise regarding etiquette to the growing society.

Comments

  • MaligornMaligorn Windborne Posts: 2,514 Transcendent
    I can't complain. Did Jilai found the Hallifaxian Opera Symphony, or the Hallifaxian Opera Symphonium? I'm not sure if there's a special difference; don't yell at me :(

    image
  • IsuneIsune Posts: 387 Divine
    Both really. She founded Opera as a musical styling and was the first Opus of the original Symphonium pre-timelock.  :)
  • XeiiXeii Posts: 151 Expert
    Hmm, I think the aerie help file could use a bit more description on what the faction does in the second paragraph, if possible. I know how many lines each help file has is unrelated to how interesting the faction itself is, but I'm worried the aerie might not stand out enough to someone who's skimming these intros before the big faction select command.
    "May this be the first of many new experiences for you, Heart of the Crescendo," Czixi says, smile quirking. "The future is an exciting place."

    Ghosting around.


  • CzixiCzixi Posts: 73 Divine
    edited February 7
    Xeii said:
    Hmm, I think the aerie help file could use a bit more description on what the faction does in the second paragraph, if possible. I know how many lines each help file has is unrelated to how interesting the faction itself is, but I'm worried the aerie might not stand out enough to someone who's skimming these intros before the big faction select command.
    The goals and actions of the Aerie are covered quite considerably in the first paragraph - the concern about adding it into the second would be that it would just be repeating itself at that point. We also do not want to be too specific, because it would be impossible to be exhaustive - and only including a few things can make it look like they are the only options (e.g. we mention that they produce art, people think they are only artists).

    That said, if you can think of a way to balance the two paragraphs that could be considered.
  • IrilliaIrillia Posts: 198 Mythical
    In the Aerie helpfile, I recommend revising the last sentence to read, "Originally funded through the State, with donations by the Clarramore Family in memory of Jilai Clarramore, founder of the acclaimed Hallifaxian Opera Symphony, the Aerie subsequently received artistic resources and guidance regarding culture and etiquette from Hallifax's Master Artists." I also recommend moving this sentence to after the first sentence of the first paragraph, as I think this would help improve the helpfile's flow and make it feel less truncated and incomplete. If the helpfile needs to be two paragraphs to fit in with the others, then I recommend breaking off the second paragraph before the sentence, "The Aerie's charter..." instead.

    While I haven't been involved in any of the discussions regarding the Adherents, I would like to suggest appending the following sentence to their helpfile, in order to give some more idea of the Adherents' (perceived) flavor: "The Adherents tolerate no disruptions in any form to the harmony and unity of Hallifax, from marauding enemies or disorganised paperwork to rogue temporal anomalies or citywide disturbances, and they typically experience few qualms about terminating the source of such disruptions with extreme prejudice and imposing order wherever it is needed." I think that something like this would give people more of an idea of what the Adherents actually do, although I'm totally open to having the sentence tweaked to reflect whatever the Adherents would potentially care about taking care of.
    Avatar created by the amazing Feyrll.
  • IsuneIsune Posts: 387 Divine
    After all the comments and brainstorming, here is what we have decided upon for the final copies:

    [ HELP CONSORTIUM ]
    The Skylark Consortium for Collaborative Advancement is an independent research institute and think tank, composed of the greatest scientific and mercantile minds cooperating to advance the Collective's interests and influence. Founded by the corporations of Hallifax as a conglomeration of business interests, scholars and experimentalists, the Consortium seeks to expand its knowledge and mastery of natural phenomena, including temporal mechanics, with which it has historical expertise. Utilising the time-honoured methods of philosophical inquiry, scientific analysis, and commercial enterprise, they are able to both fund and pursue their discoveries and ideals.

    Named in honour of the Skylark Company and its pursuit of excellence in protecting Hallifax, the members of the Consortium also continue this tradition, working to ensure the success, prosperity and longevity of the Collective. Persevering in the name of innovation, it is a home to the ambitious and resourceful who enjoy breaking down barriers to novel ideas and theories.

    [ HELP ADHERENTS ]
    Established in [insert date here], the Adherents of Adom are a formal organisation devoted to following the example of Cririk Adom. Over six hundred years before the return of the City of Hallifax, Adom gave the order that would ensure the Beacon of Harmony survived the Taint Wars. Six hundred years later, he saved his city for a second time. Finding himself reborn unexpectedly with the return of Hallifax and Gaudiguch, Adom ensured that the Beacon of Harmony would prosper no matter what - even preserving his own body that his knowledge would enrich Hallifax through the ages.

    Therefore, just as Adom once did, the Adherents consider it their duty to ensure the preservation and prosperity of the Beacon of Harmony for generations to come. They value structure and order, holding strongly to concepts put down in the Collectivist Manifesto: that freedom is a lie, and that only law will ensure the wellbeing of the Collective. Methodical work, extensive reasoning and a logical approach to all aspects of life are traits commonly found in Adom's followers.

    [ HELP AERIE ]
    Founded by the Collective under the watchful eye of its Master Artists to encourage cultivation of the Higher Emotions, the Grand Aerie for Harmonious Refinement serves to further the ideals of the Collective by exemplifying beneficence and dignity, in word and action. Originally funded through the State, with donations by the Clarramore Family in memory of Jilai Clarramore, founder of the acclaimed Hallifaxian Opera Symphony, the Aerie subsequently received artistic resources and guidance regarding culture and etiquette from Hallifax's Master Artists. The Aerie's charter includes a mandate for altruistic endeavours, through which they disseminate their beliefs and ideals throughout and beyond the Collective. Through such altruism, performed in order to enact their vision of Harmony and Beauty, its members aim to transcend the mundane and to quiet the chaos of lesser communities by elevating all to their version of perfection.

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