Crusaders Kings Megathread

DaraiusDaraius ShevatThe juror's taco spotMember Posts: 4,318 Transcendent
Delight us with your tales of intrigue, fratricide, plague, and random bears. 
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Comments

  • DylaraDylara Member Posts: 1,287 Transcendent
    Yes, I may be getting this for my birthday so moar stories. 

    Avurekhos says, "Dylara's a PvP menace in my eyes, totes rekting face."

    The eye of Dylara materialises in your hands and flings itself around your neck, tightening incomprehensibly until it is irremovable.
    Perfectly clean, this eyeball has been wrenched from the socket of Dylara. It has been animated by some unusual force, constantly looking around itself as if in shock or fear. It is bathed in a light covering of white flames that roll endlessly over its surface. A single chain of empyreal metal pierces either side of the eye, allowing it to be worn around the neck.


  • DanquikDanquik Member Posts: 146 Master
    My only story about CK and CKII is I hope you have a lot of time to invest in learning it. Paradox is one of the worst game companies for teaching you how to play their games. Hearts of Iron is even worse to learn to play.

    That being said if you are patient it is a fun game. Just don't jump into it thinking it is Civ 4/5.
  • DylaraDylara Member Posts: 1,287 Transcendent
    Yeah, I get that from Stellaris. :( It's one of the biggest things shying me away from purchasing it.

    Avurekhos says, "Dylara's a PvP menace in my eyes, totes rekting face."

    The eye of Dylara materialises in your hands and flings itself around your neck, tightening incomprehensibly until it is irremovable.
    Perfectly clean, this eyeball has been wrenched from the socket of Dylara. It has been animated by some unusual force, constantly looking around itself as if in shock or fear. It is bathed in a light covering of white flames that roll endlessly over its surface. A single chain of empyreal metal pierces either side of the eye, allowing it to be worn around the neck.


  • KaimanahiKaimanahi The One True Queen Member Posts: 704 Transcendent
    Ahahaha, I love your synopsis, give us more!

    @Yarith got me into EU4, and I go through cycles of obsession with it. CK2 sounds fun, but I don't think I have the heart to learn another Paradox game. 
    image
  • YarithYarith Member Posts: 957 Fabled
    @Kaimanahi

    But booooyyyy didn't we have a good campaign. 10/10 would play Savoy right next to Milan just to spite Kelly
    == Professional Girl Gamer == 
    Yes I play games
    Yes I'm a girl
    get over it
  • KaimanahiKaimanahi The One True Queen Member Posts: 704 Transcendent
    Yarith said:
    @Kaimanahi

    But booooyyyy didn't we have a good campaign. 10/10 would play Savoy right next to Milan just to spite Kelly
    Haha, boy, we had great campaigns, especially the ones where @Raeri would start some crazy war and solicit completely uninvolved friends to bail him out. :D
    image
  • SkanyllaSkanylla Member Posts: 96 Capable
    edited February 23
    I am just going to love this thread! Lets see if i have any stories to share..
    It's a shame people are scared of getting into CKII because of the high learning curve.
    It is easily one of my all time favorite games.
  • DylaraDylara Member Posts: 1,287 Transcendent
    Skanylla said:
    I am just going to love this thread! Lets see if i have any stories to share..
    It's a shame people are scared of getting into CKII because of the high learning curve.
    It is easily one of my all time favorite games.
    For Stellaris I just reached a point where I couldn't expand any more, and nothing was happening despite my explorations. I was unsure if I just hit something I just didn't understand or I was just in a really empty part of space, or both. I also had games where I was completely crowded in by neighbours and got outmatched by their military, or those rogue folks. I have heard there's been changes in the game, so I'd like to try it again, and hopefully CKII because it just sounds fun.

    Definitely keep the fun stories coming, because I get such a giggle from them. :)

    Avurekhos says, "Dylara's a PvP menace in my eyes, totes rekting face."

    The eye of Dylara materialises in your hands and flings itself around your neck, tightening incomprehensibly until it is irremovable.
    Perfectly clean, this eyeball has been wrenched from the socket of Dylara. It has been animated by some unusual force, constantly looking around itself as if in shock or fear. It is bathed in a light covering of white flames that roll endlessly over its surface. A single chain of empyreal metal pierces either side of the eye, allowing it to be worn around the neck.


  • ShedrinShedrin Member Posts: 905 Transcendent
    Dylara said:
    Skanylla said:
    I am just going to love this thread! Lets see if i have any stories to share..
    It's a shame people are scared of getting into CKII because of the high learning curve.
    It is easily one of my all time favorite games.
    For Stellaris I just reached a point where I couldn't expand any more, and nothing was happening despite my explorations. I was unsure if I just hit something I just didn't understand or I was just in a really empty part of space, or both. I also had games where I was completely crowded in by neighbours and got outmatched by their military, or those rogue folks. I have heard there's been changes in the game, so I'd like to try it again, and hopefully CKII because it just sounds fun.

    Definitely keep the fun stories coming, because I get such a giggle from them. :)
    IME you need to be pretty aggressive to get far in Stellaris. There's an expansion that's been announced that seems to have a lot of cool features especially for playing "tall" empires, though (low amount of systems but high development in those few systems), and in general more things to do with your own planets.
  • SkanyllaSkanylla Member Posts: 96 Capable
    edited February 23
    January 4th, 839 somewhere in the Pyrenees.

    Count Arthurius of Messene, Count of Messene and of Thessaloniki is preparing his forces to ambush the Muslim invaders. The road has not been the easiest one since a constant starvation has left its mark on his forces, however the morale is still high up as ever. He is commanding 869 men together with his trusted commander Biagio.
    Everything is going rather fine, Count Arthurius is in as fine health as possible.

    But then...

    A couple of days camping in the mountains and the first party of Muslim's are in sight. About 120 men which are no match for 800 surely. Count Arthurius mounts a daring charge and gets hit in the face with something heavy. He becomes severely injured and his face is disfigured. The day has been won as the Muslim invades flee for their leaves in the face of the overwhelming force of the heavy cavalry known as Cataphracts.

    Rest assured, the count is still able to continue ruling as the blow to the face didn't knock him out. The campaign in the Hispanic peninsula continues with lots of hit and run tactics.

    Until...
    A priest requests an audience and asks the count to protect a holy relic, because the banditry is running wild and loose in the area. Of course, the count accepts. The pope approves of the fact that he now owns an object regarded as a holy relic.

    Alas...

    Count Arthurius has severe abdominal pains and asks for the opinion of his court physician. Evidently the people who brought him in didn't read the fine print under contract. The person claims to be a renowned physician but renowned for what? 

    My court physician tells me to wear a satchel around my neck that contains a bone from a chicken, he says it wards off evil spirits. Then he tells me to write down the names of my worst enemies on a parchment and then throw this parchment into the stove when no one is looking, evidently this should take the supposed disease off my shoulder and onto the shoulders of my enemies.

    But it does not work that way, i end up developing slow fever. My court physician comes in with a bucket. The bucket is full of intestines and he covers my torso with them. It wasn't such a good idea. I'm now sicker than before.

    While my court physician is trying to treat me from my disease, my first daughter is trying to murder my spymaster and my spymaster is trying to murder my third daughter.

    To be continued
  • KaimanahiKaimanahi The One True Queen Member Posts: 704 Transcendent
    Despite my previous comment and better judgment, picking up this game is very tempting.
    image
  • VeyilsVeyils Member Posts: 1,442 Mythical
    Its basically medieval marriage simulator with the occasional war thrown in for fun :D
  • SkanyllaSkanylla Member Posts: 96 Capable
    Backstabbing, warmongering and another dead daughter.

    So.. Despite the fact that my court physician completely botched my treatment, i survive the slow fever.
    But, before i could rejoice. The scars on my face begin festering and then oozing. Like, if i wasn't already disfigured enough. Everybody dislikes me because i look literally like a monster from a nightmare by this point.

    Then...

    My brother Ambrosius returns from somewhere and brings with him 9000 men put together from exiles, hopefuls and criminals. He has an intent to claim the throne of the byzantine empire from my nephew. The war doesn't take long because my brother dies of scurvy and the casus belli dies with him since the claim was only a weak one.

    My wife has only given birth to three daughters and i am not getting younger. I need that son to inherit me!
    I am a repulsive monster with scars, disfigured face and a body wrecked by slow fever, but somehow i manage to make three bastards in total with two different women. A male heir is secured!

    Everything is going fine until...
    My own oldest daughter tells me that if i don't pay her, she is going to expose my 'Affairs' to everybody. Likely trying to cause a scandal. However, she doesn't ask for a lot of money, so i pay her off. But that backstab, i will not forget it, i shall have my revenge against my oldest daughter!

    Then my third daughter dies, not by my spymaster, but by the princess of East Francia. I wonder what she did to piss her off.. So now i have only a single daughter left.

    However, the situation gets worse. I hear that my niece is plotting to gather enough support among the courtiers of Messene to fabricate a claim on the county and that my Chancellor is involved in it together with my Court Chaplain and three nobody courtiers.

    Once i'm done solving this mess, it's time for a realm purge.. Evidently.


  • SylandraSylandra Friend of Dog Member Posts: 4,297 Transcendent
    Kaimanahi said:
    Despite my previous comment and better judgment, picking up this game is very tempting.
    Initially it's overwhelming. What made the game work better for me is I watched a Let's Play with a very charismatic player and saw the things he did and paid attention to. Once I got used to that pattern, it made playing my own games a lot easier - and I slowly starting figuring stuff out on my own.

    (Disclaimer: I think Lusternia is a way more complex game than CK2, so take that as you will.)
    Fyler said:
    Sylandra has a very signature (and somewhat twisted) sense of humor
  • RilunaRiluna Member Posts: 1,090 Mythical
    Danquik said:
    My only story about CK and CKII is I hope you have a lot of time to invest in learning it. Paradox is one of the worst game companies for teaching you how to play their games. Hearts of Iron is even worse to learn to play.

    That being said if you are patient it is a fun game. Just don't jump into it thinking it is Civ 4/5.
    This is no joke. The tutorial campaign wasn't terribly infomative. There's a whole bunch of player-inspired guides out there though, which explain a lot of what the game itself doesn't. A lot of those guides say starting in Ireland is a good idea, to learn the nuances of conquest. So that's where my misadventures are beginning.

    Everything was going great for the first couple generations! My first couple characters were much beloved, and especially great at warring. So great in fact that my courtiers expressed concern, asking me to please be more careful in the future. Just stay home, they said. Let others do the fighting. But it's so much fun! I said. Besides, my Chancellor just now fabricated yet another claim on my neighbors. I should have listened. 

    Almost immediately, my duke gets killed in battle. We win the claim, and now control a solid half of Ireland. But it's not going so well anymore. I'm now by far my worst son, who somehow became a cruel, cynical debaucher despite being raised by my most loyal and kind bishop. Everybody, especially the clergy, despises him now.

    My stepmother immediately moves back to France and begins plotting to kill my only heir. Presumably so my half-siblings succeed me instead of the evil little brat (who also hates me) I've got right now. I understand that she wants her own kids on the throne, but I don't get why my freaking aunt decided to join in on the fun. Auntie now gets to rot in the deepest, darkest parts of prison, where I hope she will soon die!

    They apparently have conjugal visits even in the oubliette, because she does die a couple years later in childbirth. I have some sympathy for the kid; being born and raised in a medieval prison is no fate for a child, especially my cousin. I most leniently and generously allow the kid's release. This was a mistake. A couple decades later and my cousin is now joining in on the same freaking plots her mother did, including killing my still-only son, which is still a thing because I don't have the power to touch stepmommy all the way over in France.

    Every petty noble I gave land to as my dad is now plotting, too. Every single one of them wants the realm for themselves, and my dearest cousin is helping too many of them. I have some hope for my lineage, because at least most of the petty nobles want my crown for themselves. If they all united, I'd probably be screwed.

    Mayor Steingrim, the Grand Schema says to you, "Well, as I recall you kinda leave a mark whereever you go."
  • PhoebusPhoebus tu fui, ego eris. Member Posts: 1,889 Transcendent
    edited February 23
    I struggled with CK2 the first few times I tried to learn it. The first time I played, I spent a few hours with my head in my hands, then uninstalled it. The interface is very...arcane? Plainly speaking, it's a freaking bad UI. There's certainly not a lack of menus to navigate through. I felt like I had to devote study time towards the game just to be able to play at all, let alone actually do well.

    It's very overwhelming. I spent most of my time thinking "What's happening? What can I even do right now? How do I see all my options!?" and clicking on random things, foolishly hoping to find clarity as opposed to more questions.

    Like Sylandra said, watching someone who knows what to care about (and what to click on to find it) play through a game helps a lot. Also, starting on Newbie Island (aka Ireland) instead of a more contentious location helps.

    Eventually you get to throw people into oubliettes and pay incompetent co-conspirators to try to stab your brother and stuff. It may or may not be worth it to suffer through the learning curve.
    Post edited by Phoebus on
  • YomoiguYomoigu Member, Gods Posts: 248 Divine
    I've often described CK2 to friends as a game with a learning curve of a brick wall, but if you take the time to scale that wall it is so very much worth it. I'm pretty sure I've spent more time with this game than on any other (except maybe Final Fantasy 9, but that's for a different thread). If you're just starting out, some helpful tips that I wish I had known starting out:
    1. You can upgrade buildings in your holdings...this took me far longer than I'm comfortable admitting to discover and the upgrades make a MASSIVE difference, especially in the early game.
    2. It's always a good idea to personally educate your heir and backup heir. That way, you can control their growth directly and avoid a future ruler who embodies the absolute worst of humanity.
    3. in the lower right hand corner, right next to the mini-map, you'll find a people and title finder. It's a great tool to find good marriage partners or solid council members if your own realm is lacking. 
    4. the Umayyads are jerks. Period.
  • RilunaRiluna Member Posts: 1,090 Mythical
    Thanks, @Yomoigu! Mind a follow up or two?

    Yomoigu said:

    1. You can upgrade buildings in your holdings...this took me far longer than I'm comfortable admitting to discover and the upgrades make a MASSIVE difference, especially in the early game.
    2. It's always a good idea to personally educate your heir and backup heir. That way, you can control their growth directly and avoid a future ruler who embodies the absolute worst of humanity.
    Is point 1 massive enough to be a priority over the constant bribes/feasts/hunts/etc. to keep your vassals happy? Or more like a "when you can" kind of thing? That stuff is expensive. :(

    And does point 2 apply if your ruler already has undesirable traits themselves (esp. something like "slow")? I thought the kids picked up on all the stuff their tutor had.

    Mayor Steingrim, the Grand Schema says to you, "Well, as I recall you kinda leave a mark whereever you go."
  • SylandraSylandra Friend of Dog Member Posts: 4,297 Transcendent
    Point 1 depends on how much your vassals already like you. Think of it as a long term vs short term investment.

    Point 2 ALWAYS APPLIES. You can decide how you respond to certain mentor events. That can help you create and cultivate the traits in your heir that you want.
    Fyler said:
    Sylandra has a very signature (and somewhat twisted) sense of humor
  • FalaeronFalaeron Jolteon Member Posts: 1,648 Transcendent
    edited February 24
    Min-maxy tip:
    So I know one of the later DLCs changed the education system entirely, but prior to that there is actually a good reason why you'd want to give your preferred heir(s) another guardian. The education trait that people get when they turn 16 is partially (mostly/entirely?) determined by who their final mentor was at the time that they turn 16. If you have an education trait you don't really want to pass onto your preferred heir(s), you can mentor them right up until just before they turn 16, then assign a guardian to them that does have an education trait you want them to inherit. This way you can shape their growth for most of their childhood while still being able to maximise the chance of them getting a good education trait.
  • SkanyllaSkanylla Member Posts: 96 Capable
    edited February 24
    When i tried to learn CKII the first time very very long ago. It took me about 50 hours of constantly hitting my head against a wall to learn it according to steam. I was even so gifted i could destroy a kingdom in under 30 days! These days, even if i tried, i am not able to do that. Can't destroy a kingdom in under 30 days. Arumba is one of my favorite crusader kings II lets players along with ParadoxExtra. 

    Talking about DLC's. You should definitely get The old gods, Charlemagne and Way of life. Those are the DLC's that give you the most bang for your buck. The rest are sort of optional flavor DLC's and DLC's that add more challenge to the game such as Conclave, Reaper's due and Sunset Invasion.
  • KaimanahiKaimanahi The One True Queen Member Posts: 704 Transcendent
    Is there decent multiplayer in this game? Would love to destroy play with people!
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  • SazSaz Member Posts: 118 Adept
    I fell asleep while watching some J-square guy's gameplay on Youtube last night. As a big Medieval Total War fan, this game is definitely on my to-play list 
     "Oh the year was 453CE, how I wish I was in Serenwilde now... aletter of marque come from the regent to the scummiest aethership I ever seen, gods damn them all...I was told we'd cruise the void for auronidion and dust, we'd fire no turrets, shed no tears.. now I'm a broken man on a Hallifax tier, the last of Saz's privateers."

    -Kilian
  • SilvanusSilvanus The Sparrowhawk Member Posts: 1,659 Transcendent
    The multiplayer is great and it makes the game easier in my opinion. For gold, your first 200 years may suck, but eventually it'll just add up and you won't notice it anymore.

    Easiest thing I have found to early expansion is inviting people to your court that have claims on titles near you, and trying to marry them into your family (like force them into a matrilineal marriage), then when the title passes on to your grandson, go win it for your family. 

    2014/04/19 01:38:01 - Leolamins drained 2000000 power to raise Silvanus as a Vernal Ascendant.
    2014/07/23 05:01:29 - Silvanus drained 2000000 power to raise Munsia as a Vernal Ascendant.
    2015/05/24 06:03:07 - Silvanus drained 2000000 power to raise Arimisia as a Vernal Ascendant.
    2015/05/24 06:03:58 - Silvanus drained 2000000 power to raise Lavinya as a Vernal Ascendant.
  • KaimanahiKaimanahi The One True Queen Member Posts: 704 Transcendent
    Turned on the tutorial at lunch. Saw the map and thought "oh great this looks just like EU4. no problemo". Then the dude starts clicking around and I quickly converge to clueless.
    image
  • SylandraSylandra Friend of Dog Member Posts: 4,297 Transcendent
    Multiplayer lags for me like a mofo so I usually play singleplayer. Also I pause the game an embarrassing amount and I feel super guilty when that inconveniences other people. :x
    Fyler said:
    Sylandra has a very signature (and somewhat twisted) sense of humor
  • RilunaRiluna Member Posts: 1,090 Mythical
    Silvanus said:
    The multiplayer is great and it makes the game easier in my opinion. For gold, your first 200 years may suck, but eventually it'll just add up and you won't notice it anymore.

    Easiest thing I have found to early expansion is inviting people to your court that have claims on titles near you, and trying to marry them into your family (like force them into a matrilineal marriage), then when the title passes on to your grandson, go win it for your family. 

    I've been inviting the third or fourth person on their line of succession. If all of them like their liege too much, I murder the head of state until they like me better. Give that guy a piece of land (so he's an actual vassal, not just a courtier), and then I press his claim.

    Mayor Steingrim, the Grand Schema says to you, "Well, as I recall you kinda leave a mark whereever you go."
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