Bandeon gets tricked by a cookie

BandeonBandeon Member Posts: 61 Capable
edited April 2017 in Event Scrolls
A dark chocolate mocha macaron begins rolling around the circle of trees, bouncing up and down.
You raise an eyebrow questioningly.
A circle of gnarled trees.
It is warm and quite pleasant. Sprawling white sores covering its trunk, a sickly yew tree is rooted here. A delicate silver scroll lie here. Centred beneath a concentric circle of trees, the weathered cairn of Laron Oakvine has been raised here. A lean dryad is rooted into the ground here, her features grim and cold. Resting beneath the concentric circle of trees, the weathered cairn of Eurytus has been raised here. Reaching up as high as the eye can see looms the awesome presence of a living totem. A birch sapling clings tenaciously to the ground here. A scattering of crumbs surrounds a dark chocolate mocha macaron that has been tossed aside here.
You see exits leading north, northeast, southeast, south, southwest, and northwest.
You say, "... hm."
(Listeners): You say, "... so... there's a movin' cookie."
You peer about yourself unscrupulously.
Shadows grow longer in anticipation for the return of their dark mistress as Father Sun's chase brings him closer to the world's edge.
Two soft brown biscuits sandwich a layer of darker ganache filling, the icing perfectly smoothed around its circumference. The ruffled foot of each cookie provides a flurry of crumbs that rain down around it, its fragile composition flaking quite easily. Flat on both sides, the top and bottom are both perfectly smooth and glossy, the egg white that composes them baked perfectly.
It has 3 months of usefulness left.
It is strangely weightless.
It has the following aliases: macaron.
You ponder a dark chocolate mocha macaron thoughtfully, looking it up and down.
You say to a dark chocolate mocha macaron, "... I nae trust pastries tha' move on their own."
The macaron suddenly stops dead in its tracks.
You raise an eyebrow questioningly.
You say, "... well tha's nae suspicious."
With your mighty index finger extended, you poke a dark chocolate mocha macaron.
The macaron giggles as it's poked.
(Listeners): You say, "... the cookie responds ta me voice..."
(Listeners): You say, "... an' giggles."
You peer at a dark chocolate mocha macaron unscrupulously.
You say, "... well I cannae eat ye now, ye giggled..."
A voice seems to emanate from the macaron, "But I'm so delicious, and you wanted a cookie!"
You say, "... righ', but generally speakin', I dun trust random pastries from nowhere tha' move on their own an' talk."
You say, "S'general rule, nae offense meant."
The voice echoes once more, "You don't have to trust me to eat me!"
You say, "... righ'. So where's t'voice comin' from then?"
You peer at a dark chocolate mocha macaron unscrupulously.
"Your head, silly!"
You say, "... yer voice, nae my voice."
You say, "... Outsmarted by a cookie. NAe me finest hour."
(Listeners): You say, "... t'cookie speaks ta me."
(Listeners): Rhenith says, "Is the cookie giving you wisdom, that you wish to share, Bandeon?"
(Listeners): You say, "... nae yet."
"I'm simply a manifestation of your hunger, Bandeon. 'Tis nae a worry t' be had!"
You say, "... righ', but I'm a demigod, so I nae really get hungry anymore."
(Listeners): You say, "... migh' be goin' senile."
(Listeners): You say, "... more senile."
"But I'm chocolate! When have you last had chocolate?"
You say, "... fair point, well made, but again, yer a talkin' cookie..."
"A -chocolate- talkin' cookie."
You say, "... hm. If I eat ye I'm nae goin' ta get shrunk or turned inta somethin' unnatural an' 'ave ta go on some kinda quest ta regain me 
true form, am I?"
"I promise on my flour that you will not be shrunk or transformed or be sent on a quest."
You say, "... I'm nae sure macarons 'ave flour in 'em."
(Listeners): You say, "Do macarons 'ave flour in 'em?"
"I was adopted."
(Listeners): Kaguya says, "They can vary a lot."
(Listeners): You say, "... I think t'cookie is tryin' ta trick me."
You say, "... adopted."
(Listeners): Rhenith says, "Not if you make them right, I think. Mostly egg white, and sugar."
(Listeners): Kaguya says, "Macarons are defined as having almond meal as a base component in the dough, which results in the smooth surface 
and helps create the almost meringue-like texture within."
(Listeners): You say, "... so if t'cookie swears on it's flour tha' I'll nae get transformed, or shrunk, or sent on a quest if I eat it, I'm 
probably in trouble if I eat it then."
You peer about yourself unscrupulously.
(Listeners): Rhenith says, "Unless its got a potion in it."
You say, "Well, wha's t'worst tha' can 'appen."
(Listeners): Rhenith says, "Eat up, and let us know what happens! I am curious."
You pick up a dark chocolate mocha macaron.
After eating a dark chocolate mocha macaron, your eyes close dreamily as you fall to the floor, asleep and unconscious.
You feel incredibly tired, and fall asleep immediately.
You traverse the boundary between reality and dreams.
Within serene, moss-blanketed woods.
The air is filled with hundreds of dancing embers from a healing shrine of Yomoigu nearby.
You see exits leading northeast, southeast, and west.
This was hilarious. Much love to @Ianir. Cookies always lie!


  • KerithKerith Member Posts: 267 Gifted
    Selenity said:
    Bandeon said:

    You say, "... I'm nae sure macarons 'ave flour in 'em."
    "I was adopted."

    This is the part I lost it at. My lungs.
    Same! OMG...
  • RhenithRhenith Member Posts: 6 Novice
    Rhenith is 100% sure Bandeon has something odd in his ale now, after that exchange on GT. Right, crazy old man talking to cookies... Let's just play nice and not upset him. <3
  • TirahTirah Member Posts: 407 Mythical
    This is the best thing I have read in ages.
Sign In or Register to comment.