Random nightmare dredging up long (thought) forgotten traumas, leaving me exhausted and discombobulated for the rest of the night and day. Thanks, brain.
Those are the worst. E-hugs ahoy. Dreamtime can mess with a person pretty hardcore.
My adopted niece had tickets set aside for me for her first big part in a play and I'm not sure if I'll be able to get down there to see it. I want to be there opening night, but funds and transportation are a huge issue regarding it, which is surprising for a three hour journey.
I've been back and forth with this guy for like 4 months now. You know, because reasons. It's complicated. NOT THE POINT. Anyways, he joined me at my apartment for some pre bar drinks with my group of friends, which is a big step for him. He's never been with just me and my friends. I was impressed, the night was going well.
Fast forward to 1:00AM...
Me: Well I'm going home. Him: Why? Me: *looks at inferior male next to him* Because his hand as been on your ass for the past 30 minutes, and I'm right here. And he's not cute. Other man: *gasp* Him: *awkward*
I don't subscribe to any type of required mutual exclusivity/monogamy/whatever, we aren't in a relationship or even dating exclusively. It's just god damn rude. AND HE WASN'T EVEN CUTE.
Known Aliases: Celina/Cyndarin/Fire Jesus/The Night/That Bitch who griefed us
So, me and the other mature student in the group for the poster teamed up and just did the whole thing ourselves. Today is the 4th time the other two girls didn't show, one claiming that she had hurt her wrist -- funny how she could turn up to the lab that goes toward attendance 30 mins later, no sore wrist -- and the other just doesn't like turning up for anything. I have sent an email to our module leader/lecturer and HOPEFULLY we will either meet with her tomorrow or she'll email us back about a solution. I really don't want my grade to be effected by this, but goddamn did we try to make an amazing poster. Edit: The poster needs to be printed out and is due Monday WITH a presentation in front of the rest of the class.
Tl;dr - group projects are the devil and people suck.
Note to self: when you work out and your ankle starts hurting, you shouldn't keep going. And under no circumstances should you do another workout later because you keep telling yourself that it will probably stop hurting soon....hello, rubbing alcohol, my old friend <.<
Hey I feel like whining so sure. This is the place right?
Trying to move out soon, got a job that doesn't depress the shit out of me to the point of dysfunction (which happened with my last three jobs so thank god). It can only get harder from here though and I'm honestly terrified of the moment I sleep and slam my face against the ground again. It feels like whenever that happens it might be the last time. I know failure shouldn't be so crippling and terror-inducing but I've been taught my whole like to despise it and call it a trauma.
It's funny how I've been wanting to present more femininely for a good 2 years for sure, have thought about it for more like 4 years now. And just now I got the courage to start trying to dress how I want. Overall I'm doing ok is what I'm saying but I'm so tired and it feels like soon I'll have to take a step I won't have energy to and trip. In a sense it makes me feel more vulnerable and scared.
It doesn't help I've been feeling very lonely. No irl friends (people around here are awful) and few online friends on top of that since my D&D group disbanded and I couldn't find any as good. I need more hugs. I also need more than hugs but fuck men around this place are disgusting (not like they're not all masc4masc or straight dudebros anyway). Guess it figures I play this game at work and at home and yet it's not like Faeie has that many friends either cuz the place is pretty barren.
Could go back to Achaea I guess but let's say the "higher amount equals lower quality" rule applies when it comes to amount of players.
At least the few friends I have are REALLY close. I'd probably be way more depressed otherwise.
I'm emotional enough as is but for all that counts if you notice me get defensive or upset easy it's just that I'm very vulnerable right now overall.
..........in my world you are the best. I assume this is astral insanity. If not, vent on me tonight. You can punch me if you want!
06/30/2014 19:37 Silvanus channels the power of the Megalith of Doom for you, stripping you of your Vernal Ascendant status.......bastard!!
7
EveriineWise Old Swordsbird / BrontaurIndianapolis, IN, USA
Pup is sick again .
Everiine is a man, and is very manly. This MAN before you is so manly you might as well just gender bend right now, cause he's the manliest man that you ever did see. His manly shape has spurned many women and girlyer men to boughs of fainting. He stands before you in a manly manerific typical man-like outfit which is covered in his manly motto: "I am a man!"
Daraius said: You gotta risk it for the biscuit.
Pony power all the way, yo. The more Brontaurs the better.
I really hate on my days off that I plan to do things around the house but now I can't even find the motivation to go eat breakfast and it's almost 9:00, come on dude get up and eat some toast, put laundry in, it'll take just five minutes total.
I hate how I am sometimes.
The deep, rumbling voice of Weiwae says from within your heart, "I am so happy to hear of your progress, and I thank you for bringing my influence over more shards of My Brother Tae."
I really hate on my days off that I plan to do things around the house but now I can't even find the motivation to go eat breakfast and it's almost 9:00, come on dude get up and eat some toast, put laundry in, it'll take just five minutes total.
I hate how I am sometimes.
I can be the same way. What I do in these circumstances is make it into a game. Shoot the laundry into the machine! How fast can I make my breakfast without messing it up today? Was I quicker than last time?
I really hate on my days off that I plan to do things around the house but now I can't even find the motivation to go eat breakfast and it's almost 9:00, come on dude get up and eat some toast, put laundry in, it'll take just five minutes total.
I hate how I am sometimes.
Ah yes, executive dysfunction. Best part about being depressed. Don't you just love to Literally Lose The Ability to Can.
Skipped class today. Feel sick, head's all cloudy like it's full of cottonballs instead of brains. I'm stressed out by it because I don't want to fall back into my old habit of skipping whenever I'm having a bad mental health day (which quickly spirals out of control and into skipping most days,) but I also need to be ok with allowing myself to take a day off when I'm unwell.
Being broke, and trying to fix a car enough to be road worthy with just me and a Chilton's manual. Oh hey, now that I'm done there's a check engine light on. Yay.
"Oh yeah, you're a naughty mayor, aren't you? Misfile that Form MA631-D. Comptroller Shevat's got a nice gemstone disc for you, but yer gonna have to beg for it."
"Oh yeah, you're a naughty mayor, aren't you? Misfile that Form MA631-D. Comptroller Shevat's got a nice gemstone disc for you, but yer gonna have to beg for it."
My dad handed me some things he wanted to throw out and he wanted me to go through them. Among some of the trash were gems: some writings I never had seen before my mother had done several years before I was born. While the recipes were interesting (orange juice in butter cookies, mom?) there were more telling things in the papers.
Very, very sad writings, questioning why she went on with life.
If cancer hadn't taken her when I was little, I'd give her a hug for the things I read today. She was in so much pain. And even in all that pain, she supported five children on her own, doing 2-4 part-time jobs.
So, I've been having non-productive contractions since I got up for work last night. Essentially just another layer of pregnancy 'wait and see' only with added pain. Baby is fine. Barely dilated. It's just too soon for this shit.
Also one of my closest friends was 8 weeks behind me and just delivered her daughter stillborn this morning at 24 weeks. It's heartbreaking. For those unaware, point of viability is considered to be 23-24 weeks, depending on who you ask, so it's especially tough when you think you're finally reaching the safety zone.
So now I'm trying not to stress for me AND her. -_-
So if I'm scarce is because I'm dealing with pain and sadness.
So, I've been having non-productive contractions since I got up for work last night. Essentially just another layer of pregnancy 'wait and see' only with added pain. Baby is fine. Barely dilated. It's just too soon for this shit.
Also one of my closest friends was 8 weeks behind me and just delivered her daughter stillborn this morning at 24 weeks. It's heartbreaking. For those unaware, point of viability is considered to be 23-24 weeks, depending on who you ask, so it's especially tough when you think you're finally reaching the safety zone.
So now I'm trying not to stress for me AND her. -_-
So if I'm scarce is because I'm dealing with pain and sadness.
i want a I'm sending you hug and loves button. cause I sure as hell ain't gonna like it. (hug)
MOM: Why don't you fix the ice maker so we have ice for drinks? ME: It's $50 for the part. I have explained his every month for the last year and a half, and you always say not this month. MOM: Yeah, $50 is too much this month. Maybe next month. ME: Maybe next month. MOM: Hey, this Sailor Jerry's spiced rum is 1/3 off. Let's get this and 10 bags of chips. CASHIER: that'll be $60. ME: Fine, whatever. MOM: We need more ice for the drinks, Why don't you fix the ice maker?
Lately I find myself falling asleep for an hour then waking up and just staring at my ceiling for and hour to two hours, and we repeat this cycle three or four times so that I only get around 3.5 hours of sleep at night. This really, really, needs to stop.
On the plus side I've finished listening to a few albums that I've been wanting to hear.
The deep, rumbling voice of Weiwae says from within your heart, "I am so happy to hear of your progress, and I thank you for bringing my influence over more shards of My Brother Tae."
When you send a task back to be reworked, you are supposed to provide instructions on how to fix the error. "See team manager for error details" are not valid instructions. So I get the task after they have "fixed" the error. This poor child has done what? I don't know to this application. I now have to spend 1 hour figuring out what was done and a whole 1 more hour trying to figure out what the initial problem was. All. They. Needed. To. Do. Was. Press. A. Button. Not some big heavy button. A button on the screen
Comments
Ixion tells you, "// I don't think anyone else had a clue, amazing form."
I've been back and forth with this guy for like 4 months now. You know, because reasons. It's complicated. NOT THE POINT. Anyways, he joined me at my apartment for some pre bar drinks with my group of friends, which is a big step for him. He's never been with just me and my friends. I was impressed, the night was going well.
Fast forward to 1:00AM...
Me: Well I'm going home.
Him: Why?
Me: *looks at inferior male next to him* Because his hand as been on your ass for the past 30 minutes, and I'm right here. And he's not cute.
Other man: *gasp*
Him: *awkward*
I don't subscribe to any type of required mutual exclusivity/monogamy/whatever, we aren't in a relationship or even dating exclusively. It's just god damn rude. AND HE WASN'T EVEN CUTE.
Tl;dr - group projects are the devil and people suck.
Even worse when related.
Why did I visit.
It's February.
Hump Day: 70, Fri: Snow.
Eff this shite I'm out.
[spoiler] [ INFO ] - Socket got disconnected. The remote host closed the connection
Pretty sure I'm gonna strangle someone soon.
False hope:
Discord: Rey#1460
Trying to move out soon, got a job that doesn't depress the shit out of me to the point of dysfunction (which happened with my last three jobs so thank god). It can only get harder from here though and I'm honestly terrified of the moment I sleep and slam my face against the ground again. It feels like whenever that happens it might be the last time. I know failure shouldn't be so crippling and terror-inducing but I've been taught my whole like to despise it and call it a trauma.
It's funny how I've been wanting to present more femininely for a good 2 years for sure, have thought about it for more like 4 years now. And just now I got the courage to start trying to dress how I want. Overall I'm doing ok is what I'm saying but I'm so tired and it feels like soon I'll have to take a step I won't have energy to and trip. In a sense it makes me feel more vulnerable and scared.
It doesn't help I've been feeling very lonely. No irl friends (people around here are awful) and few online friends on top of that since my D&D group disbanded and I couldn't find any as good. I need more hugs. I also need more than hugs but fuck men around this place are disgusting (not like they're not all masc4masc or straight dudebros anyway). Guess it figures I play this game at work and at home and yet it's not like Faeie has that many friends either cuz the place is pretty barren.
Could go back to Achaea I guess but let's say the "higher amount equals lower quality" rule applies when it comes to amount of players.
At least the few friends I have are REALLY close. I'd probably be way more depressed otherwise.
I'm emotional enough as is but for all that counts if you notice me get defensive or upset easy it's just that I'm very vulnerable right now overall.
06/30/2014 19:37 Silvanus channels the power of the Megalith of Doom for you, stripping you of your Vernal Ascendant status.......bastard!!
I hate how I am sometimes.
its just putting my whole mood down and I feel like I can't get out of it.
Student: Oh my god, Farmville? No one has played that in like, ten years.
Way to make me feel old, universe.
Very, very sad writings, questioning why she went on with life.
If cancer hadn't taken her when I was little, I'd give her a hug for the things I read today. She was in so much pain. And even in all that pain, she supported five children on her own, doing 2-4 part-time jobs.
Also one of my closest friends was 8 weeks behind me and just delivered her daughter stillborn this morning at 24 weeks. It's heartbreaking. For those unaware, point of viability is considered to be 23-24 weeks, depending on who you ask, so it's especially tough when you think you're finally reaching the safety zone.
So now I'm trying not to stress for me AND her. -_-
So if I'm scarce is because I'm dealing with pain and sadness.
ME: It's $50 for the part. I have explained his every month for the last year and a half, and you always say not this month.
MOM: Yeah, $50 is too much this month. Maybe next month.
ME: Maybe next month.
MOM: Hey, this Sailor Jerry's spiced rum is 1/3 off. Let's get this and 10 bags of chips.
CASHIER: that'll be $60.
ME: Fine, whatever.
MOM: We need more ice for the drinks, Why don't you fix the ice maker?
On the plus side I've finished listening to a few albums that I've been wanting to hear.