Who do you think won the Saucy Flirt contest?

Tremula · December 2016

I bought stockings for various friends in Lusternia and ended up having one extra. I tried to think of who should get it when I had a brilliant idea: the best baudy flirt would get it, because I like having my ego stroked and laughing at the same time. The results were gold, and QUITE nsfw, so they're in the spoiler. Read at your own risk!

Yes, my judgings were entirely subjective. Who do you think should have taken the grand prize?

[spoiler]The hands on an onyx-studded watch read one o'clock in the afternoon.

The phase of the moon is the Waning Crescent.

In your world, it is 2016/12/17 00:59:06 GMT and 2016/12/16 20:59:06 in your configured timezone.

(Market): You say, "A solstice stocking to whomever amuses me with the baudiest flirtation! You have until midnight!"

(Market): You say, "Those already gifted stockings by me are excluded. Let others have fun!"

You sense the piercing eyes of Gero looking upon you.

Gero licks you.

Primus Gero asks, "You look a little wet, wanna dry off in my place?"

You say, "Ah, the Shango approach. A classic."

You give up a round of applause.

Lylith tells you, "Come play on the beach, I'll be the sand that gets into all your crevices. Now picture me winking very lewdly."

Portius tells you, "I think you'll find that husbands are always allowed to flirt. Fortunately for the other competitors, the only stockings I want to take are the ones on your legs."

Primus Gero says, "You did say baudiest."

You have emoted: Tremula's muffled laugh hangs in the air, her hand rising to cover where her mouth should be.

Edith tells you, "One does not normally say such things, but...you are like my big toe."

(Market): You say, "And Lylith takes the lead!"

Edith tells you, "Because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in this manse!"

(Market): You say, "Edith hurriedly takes it, though, well done!"

You say to Gero, "The young are working their magic, I am afraid."

You say, "You'll have to pull out something clever if you want to take it."

You pat a solstice stocking in a friendly manner.

Primus Gero says, "Hmm."

Vatul tells you, "Merry Solstice, Lady Tremula. I offer my gratitude, and a kiss of friendship to you - Should you ever wish to speak with me again."

Avurekhos tells you, "I was going to show you my staff, but it looks like its not getting into your taint tonight."

Primus Gero says, "I'll give you a kiss."

Primus Gero says, "If you don't like it, you can return it."

The corners of Gero's mouth turn up as he grins mischievously.

(Market): You say, "Avurekhos gives a valuable attempt, but Edith still holds the lead!"

Cassander tells you, "I don't a library card but can I check you out?"

Kistan tells you, "The world would be a better place if everyone had a bit of taint inside them. Can

I put some in you?"

You have emoted: Tremula quickly shifts her mask and leans into give Gero a peck on his cheek, lowering the mask once it is done and giggling faintly.

You tell Aois-Dana Vatul Feyranti, "I would be glad to receive it, Aois-Dana. It is a gift to you for what I was told was your constant watch of me during...well, for taking care of me when I could not do so myself."

Cassander tells you, "Ahem. Comrade."

Vatul tells you, "So you do recall, Lady Tremula. I am honoured."

You tell Aois-Dana Vatul Feyranti, "I am afraid I cannot claim that honour. It was in a letter my grandmother left before she..."

You tell Aois-Dana Vatul Feyranti, "Well, it was in a letter."

Lylith tells you, "You must be a sea sprite, because you get me so wet!"

(Market): You say, "Valiant efforts all, but it seems that Edith still is the most flirtatious! Multiple entries are allowed, don't give up!"

Primus Gero says, "Are you my little toe? Because I'm about to bang you on every piece of furniture."

You tell Stargazer Lylith Regalis, "Oooh, that was a new one."

Slightly muffled, you say, "That was actually Edith's entry."

Eicia tells you, "Are you a flappy bird? I could tap you ALL night.."

Adal tells you, "Is that a looking glass in your pocket? 'cause I can see myself in your pants."

"Bah!" Gero retorts disgustedly.

Crek tells you, "Why thank you, dear!"

Portius tells you, "Multiple entries? I see that I trained you marvelously well."

Edith tells you, "Am I permitted to try to reclaim the lead?"

Lylith tells you, "Nuu!!"

Primus Gero says, "You look so innocent, you look so sweet, as long as I have a face, you will always have a seat."

You tell Edith Shee-Slaugh, Keeper of the Black Nest, "You are!"

Cassander tells you, "You must have a special scry enchantment, because you penetrate more than my aethersight."

(Market): You say, "Cassander steals it!"

Primus Gero says, "Son of a six toed whore."

(Market): You say, "As an aside, I'm writing each of these down to send to your mothers and fathers."

Primus Gero exclaims, "You are so selfish!"

Primus Gero says, "Youre going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night."

(Market): You say, "Oh, and back to Gero!"

Adal tells you, "Whats that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, its not coming off!"

Avurekhos tells you, "If you do, leave it on their tombstones. It should be a haunting memory."

You tell Seditionist Adal, The Seed of Sacred Hungers, "Come now, that's hardly baudy!"

The hands on an onyx-studded watch read four o'clock in the afternoon.

The phase of the moon is the Waning Crescent.

In your world, it is 2016/12/17 01:07:36 GMT and 2016/12/16 21:07:36 in your configured timezone.

Adal tells you, "Hmmmm."

You tell Damned Avurekhos Myeras, Crimson Fist of Luciphage, "Oooh, respect for your pun."

Eicia tells you, "I may not go down in the history of events, but I can certainly go down on you for ages."

Edith tells you, "The word of the day is legs. I think we should spread the word."

(Market): You say, "Oh, and Eicia takes an INCREDIBLY strong lead!"

Lylith tells you, "I'm not wearing any socks.. and I have the panties to match, wanna see?"

Primus Gero says, "What time do you get off?"

Vatul tells you, "If only I were there to comfort you in this most unusual time, my sweet Lady. And I must say, as your flirtatious competition contiues...How soft your skin was, when I undressed you -how supple the flesh regardless of the blood upon your nape. It was as if blood on snow, perfection and marring that only could ever be suitable within the wings of the Enchantress."

Primus Gero asks, "Can I watch?"

(Market): You say, "Over to Lylith for fashionable humour!"

Cassander tells you, "I'll let you hold my cudgel when I cover you in sap."

Utterly entranced, you emit a long "Ooooh."

(Market): You say, "Gero for a classic!"

Adal tells you, "Want to spend the night at my house tonight? The couch may not pull out, but I do."

(Market): You say, "Oooh, Adal steals it with raw machismo!"

Edith tells you, "You look like a hard worker...I have an opening you can fill."

Primus Gero says, "You have such lovely jewelry."

(Market): You say, "And once more to Edith, regaining his position as the flirt-master of the Basin!"

Primus Gero says, "It would look great on my nightstand."

Slightly muffled, you say to Gero, "A repeat again, dear."

Edith tells you, "I am a lady - despite these lines."

"Bah!" Gero retorts disgustedly.

Primus Gero asks, "Wasnt I supposed to eat you somewhere?"

You tell Edith Shee-Slaugh, Keeper of the Black Nest, "A Lady must be ready to bust out the baudiest of jokes, in case her standing should be appropriate to hide."

You ponder the situation.

Slightly muffled, you say, "I do not recall."

Eicia tells you, "I don't have a completes map and I'm not searching for treasure, but I'm digging your chest and I suppose I could dig into your undervault. We might just find and explode in that next level of experience."

Lylith tells you, "I'm not drunk, I'm intoxicated by your beauty, now come over so I can sip your nectar."

Cassander tells you, "If I were a Sentinel Bonecrusher, I'd bang your brains in, go back in time and do it again."

(Market): You say, "And Eicia once more, barely scooching ahead of Cassander!"

Portius tells you, "Have you ever seen something so big that Kethuru would choke on it? If you haven't, come by my bedchamber and you soon will."

Primus Gero asks, "Nice shoes, want to fuck?"

(Market): You say, "Oh, Gero, you flirt! You've taken the lead!"

Adal tells you, "The word of the day is legs. Lets go back to my place and spread the word."

Edith tells you, "While stroking a face...is this seat taken?"

You tell Edith Shee-Slaugh, Keeper of the Black Nest, "Ah, a repeat!"

Eicia tells you, "Every bone in your body makes me quiver, especially when it's going to be my husband's."

(Market): You say, "Oh, and Eicia overtakes Gero again!"

Slightly muffled, you say to Gero, "I'll get you another one, though, just for that last one."

Leolamins tells you, "What's happening?"

Slightly muffled, you say, "I just winked, saucily."

Cassander tells you, "... I'll changling into a dracnari.. if you catch my drift. *wink*."

You tell Leolamins d'Murani, Eyes of Bloodlust, "The baudiest flirtation to me by midnight wins a solstice stocking."

Primus Gero says, "Just remember, to you, I am a virgin."

Edith tells you, "I'm not drunk. I'm just intoxicated by you."

You snicker softly to yourself.

You tell Edith Shee-Slaugh, Keeper of the Black Nest, "Good, but I need baudiness! The stuffy spires demand I be entertained!"

(Market): You say, "Remember, points are for baudiness, not sweetness!"

The hands on an onyx-studded watch read about half past seven o'clock in the evening.

The phase of the moon is the Waning Crescent.

In your world, it is 2016/12/17 01:14:56 GMT and 2016/12/16 21:14:56 in your configured timezone.

(Market): You say, "You have five hours remaining!"

Lylith tells you, "I don't know much about pies, but you sure do know how to make my banana cream."

Edith tells you, "Do you know why they call my the cat whisperer? Because I know exactly what this pussy needs."

Portius tells you, "You mean that I wouldn't get points for saying that you are the light of my life, with eyes that shine with the glory of ten thousand stars?"

(Market): You say, "Oh, Lylith! That was incredibly baudy! You've taken the lead!"

Eicia tells you, "I loved all of the cats in Celest's streets. I enjoyed stroking them hour by hour, but your pussy will DEFINITELY be my new favorite after tonight."

You tell Lord-Librarian Portius Nitraedes, Paragon of Progress, "You have all the points already, husband, that is how you won my hand."

Adal tells you, "Is my vagina crying or are you just sexy?"

Oueli tells you, "I have been told to say I will 'bang' you. Also that I shaved my legs."

Cassander tells you, "I'd tell you to call me a Time Lord but time isnt the only think I make quake."

(Market): You say, "Cassander, but strong entries from Adal and Oueli!"

Edith tells you, "While touching their trousers...is this cotton? Then this must be felt..."

Kali tells you, "How hard should I be thwapping Cassander?"

Lylith tells you, "Remember my name, because you'll be screaming it later."

You tell Kali Ladyn, "Oh, it's all in the spirit of fun!"

Gero sucks thoughtfully on his teeth.

Primus Gero says, "Poteens, maybe I can remember another one."

You snicker softly to yourself.

Eicia tells you, "You should see my husband. He's big and strong and if you pet it, just keep in mind, it spits."

Edith tells you, "I am trying to quit smoking weed. Could you give me a new oral fixation?"

(Market): You say, "Oh, back to Edith! Quite clever!"

Falmiis tells you, "I thought you were looking for baudy, not clever."

Lysistrata tells you, "Hey baby, are you an Aquamancer? because you make me wet."

You tell Falmiis Shevat, "Baudy and clever gets double the points."

You tell Falmiis Shevat, "Will you compete, Emperor?"

Cassander tells you, "You won't find it in the news, but the real reason Mysrai disappeared is because she spent the night with me. She went to create another seal called "pleasure" to hold me down."

Falmiis tells you, "It would not be appropriate for me to, no."

Cassander tells you, "But I was still too much."

Lylith tells you, "Oh you're on your period? That's ok sweet thing, Pirates aren't afraid to sail the Red Sea."

(Market): You say, "Cassander, you defy the gods with your baudiness! You've taken the lead..."

Eicia tells you, "We'll probably never see each other ever again. So, let's keep it simple and just screw."

(Market): You say, "Only to lose it to Lylith!"

Edith tells you, "Would you like to fight? Pull your pants down, I'll give you three blows to the head."

Luce tells you, "Strictly in the interests of competition. "Have you never heard of the legendary silver Shevat tongue? Why don't I show you what it can do?""

Veyils tells you, "If you are asking for advice on combat perhaps you need someone to put their Klangaxe into your Open Cavity?"

(Market): You say, "Oh, and Luce overtakes Cassander, Edith, and Eicia alla t once!"

Edith tells you, "Do you like to draw? Good, so I can put your D in RAW?"

The hands on an onyx-studded watch read about half past nine o'clock at night.

The phase of the moon is the Waning Crescent.

In your world, it is 2016/12/17 01:21:34 GMT and 2016/12/16 21:21:34 in your configured timezone.

You tell Edith Shee-Slaugh, Keeper of the Black Nest, "Ooooooooh, that was a good one, but you'll have to work harder than that!"

Lylith tells you, "How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll give you the meat."

Vatul tells you, "Would you like to try a Magnagoran kiss? It is just like a Delportian kiss, but down under."

Eicia tells you, "Hm.. Try me once and if you don't like it, what have you wasted? What, like six hours of your life? It's be more if you wanted foreplay.."

Edith tells you, "I have pet insurance. Fortunate - because my pussy is getting smashed tonight."

(Market): You say, "Tell Edith takes the lead once more!"

Lysistrata tells you, "I guess you didnt't like that one. Well, if you're feeling down, I Can feel you up."

You sense the piercing eyes of Gero looking upon you.

Luce tells you, "The crystals aren't the only things that vibrate in Hallifax."

Lylith tells you, "Are you a termite? Cause you're about to have a mouth full of wood."

(Market): You say, "Oooh, Luce and Lysistrata are a tough choice for first, but Lylith smashes through them with a bang-up flirt!"

Oueli tells you, "Aah.. Oueli never procreate before! Uh! Here! 'Night hover over land for day and night and day and night... not nearly as long as would like to hover over you..'"

Edith tells you, "Are you a squirrel? I'd let you store your nuts in me."

Vatul tells you, "My truetime says you're not wearing any panties...Oh, you are? Damn, it must be an hour fast..."

Primus Gero exclaims, "The illuminati are after my penis!"

Primus Gero says, "Can I hide it in you?"

Cassander tells you, "They say the rear entrance is for trash only, but I've never been afraid of a little dumpster diving."

Eicia tells you, "I'm like chocolate. I'll go STRAIGHT for your ass."

You cackle hellishly.

(Market): You say, "Eicia nearly takes first, but Cassander quickly zings back into the lead!"

Edith tells you, "Did I tell you I was raised on a chicken farm? Well I was, and I sure know how to raise a cock."

Lysistrata tells you, "You know, you remind me of my little toe. I'm likely to bang you on all the furniture in my estate."

Lylith tells you, "Is your name winter? Because you'll be coming soon."

Primus Gero asks, "Are you free tonight, or do I have to pay?"

Kali tells you, "Are you a hamburger? You could be the meat between these buns."

(Market): You say, "Oh, and Lylith quickly pushes Gero in the face, knocking him out of the way to take the lead!"

(Market): You say, "Only to be knocked away by Kali with a surprise entrance!"

Edith tells you, "Just wanted to let you know I'm not wearing any socks. More importantly - I have the panties to match."

You tell Edith Shee-Slaugh, Keeper of the Black Nest, "Boo, that's a repeat!"

Lysistrata tells you, "I'd like to get between your legs and eat my way straight to your heart..."

Lylith tells you, "My face is leaving in fifteen minutes. Be on it."

Primus Gero says, "I hope you like dragons, because I'll be dragon my balls across your face tonight."

Edith tells you, "I know why they call it a beaver. Because I'm dying for some wood."

Eicia tells you, "I'm like a hallifaxian researcher conducting a survey on the taste of pussy. I'm thinking that it may be a sweeter taste if I start with your ass first. What do you think?"

(Market): You say, "Lysistrata suddenly takes the lead with a pleasant dash of cannibalism!"

Midnight shadows coalesce around a new day, and Mother Night embraces the land in utter darkness.

It is now the 6th of Urlachmar, 461 years after the Coming of Estarra.

Luce tells you, "Hallifaxians make good lovers, because we strive to come together in harmony."

(Market): You say, "And time!"

Gero claps his hands together merrily.

Primus Gero says, "That was excellent fun."

(Market): You say, "Well, that was quite intense! Allow me a few moments to cool off and introspect on the entries."

You say, "I should do it more often."

Primus Gero says, "Likely to get many repeats."

You nod your head emphatically.

You say, "But there are quite a few good ones."

Edith tells you, "I trust what I have said shall never be told to another. It would be quite unbecoming "

You say, "Lysistrata said that she'd like to start between my legs and eat her way to my heart."

You tell Edith Shee-Slaugh, Keeper of the Black Nest, "Of course, dear. These are all private exchanges."

(Market): You say, "I'd like to also thank Vatul and Portius for many valiant, but invalid, entries."

(Market): Shango says, "Offering flirtation guides for cheap."

Your purchase of an artifact package has just arrived! You have received: a solstice stocking (263147), a solstice stocking (263157), and a solstice stocking (263160).Your account has been credited with Three Solstice Stockings.

(Market): You say, "And it seems I just can't decide! We have a three-way tie!"

(Market): Lysistrata says, "That's quite suitable."

(Market): Lylith says, "I'm up for a threeway."

(Market): You say, "Congratulations to Edith, Cassander, and Eicia for the best three-way tie this Basin has ever seen!"[/spoiler]

Luce · December 2016

Wow, that was some stiff competition!

Cassander · December 2016

I made a forums profile just to say that I finished in the three-way tie, and didn't even get put as an actual choice in voting! Also.. *is ashamed* o.o