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To my beloved Wyrdenkin
It is me, Gurashi An'ryshe.
I am writing to you, because, I want to and must, because I have many words that I want to say, even though I am not very goodly at words. Because words are what got me into this whole mess - or, rather, my not using them.
Long long, long long long long time ago when was just a fresh confused bug stepping out of Portal of Fate, I made promise that I would always and forever only love it and its Divine Patrons. And I was goodly and true to my promise for a very long time. I was very goodly. I loved all of Glomdoring's Divines very muchly, yes. They are all good for many reasons.
...But, after much thinking and many long evenings of no-sleeps, I chose to start worshipping the Shofets, Mysrai, the Thousandfolds, in SECRETS, even though I asked and got told no by the Shadow Courts. But I still felt very strongly, and hurt very muchly, and I ignored it the very best that I could. It was scary being told I picked wrong. It didn't FEEL wrong. I know I am hypocritical because made one of Glomdoring's own give up her endless love of her Lady Enchantress to live here. While I turned around and acted upon my heart and broke my promise. That was very cruel and selfish and unkindly of me.
I thought maybe could be both Beloveds, and live and serve the Wyrds, yes. Wanted to try to find a way for both. It is why I kept it secret from you. I know that was the wrongest part of all of this. I am so very sorry.
Have now been given a choice: to stay in Glomdoring, and keep serving Wyrd like always have. Or, to stay with Beloveds, and leave Glomdoring.
I hope that all understand did not join to hurt anyone. No, never I only want to learn how to be gooder, to myself, to the Wyrd, to the whole Basins and beyond. Know someday Wyrd is going to take over all of everything, but until then I want to admire the stars of New Celest and the spires of the Matrix and beaches of Toronada and winds in Avechna's teeths and and did you know Mister Lord Crumkane has a realm made of FOOD? You can EAT The DIRT. But respectfully.
I love the Glomdoring. I love the Wyrd. I love the Lady of Roses and Lord Predator and Mister Manteekan and even Mister Lord Silence, and I want to help see Them all grow big and strongly. Here is where I found my family, whom I am grateful for all of the days, every day. They are my Hive. Here is where I have learned how to sing and get big confidence and cook.
I have cried lots and lots over the past couple months. Now that am all dry and empty, I have found my answer.
Am not staying in Glomdoring, and I will go once the New Years has come and gone.
Knowing what this entails scares me to very core and makes all of me feel like broken glass and hot and cold. Thinking of how it has affected those around me makes me feel even ... worse ... so much so that I have almost thought about giving up this change. Am SO scared, yes. But, I have spent so long frozen in fear and not doing any things and hurting peoples around me as a result. I do not WANT stand still any more. I want to learn from as many peoples as I can, in AND beyond the Glomdoring. I want to grow - in peace, and in love.
Days or years - will make no difference to me. You will always remain dearly in my heart. I love you all so much! I will still feed you and offer to the Wyrd and give you my anomalies if release them and help in wildnodes and aetherflares and things if you will let me! I do not want to leave and want nothing more than to stay! But I also understand why the rules would not let me stay, and why my wrong-doing means I cannot. I am so sorry!
I will keep you by my side always - I will not be far. Find me if you need me for any things.
All of my love, forever and always,
PS - Oh!! Also!! Please - do not think am joining Gaudiguchs?! Or Ironharts! Heckity at whoever is telling peoples I am moving to sweaty city of sands and bully designers. No. Would sooner be rogues if cannot stay here.
PPS - if it ever DOES become O-K for me to come home and still worship the Thousandfolds PLEASE let me know right away! MANY thank yous!
Who you are friends with, especially a contemptible bug one is not my
concern or really worth the dirt on my boot as a reason for entry.
That said, your request seems harmless enough. Your access within the
borders of the Engine of Transformation is granted for 15 months with a
few basic stipulations. Keep your buggy buffoonery away from the
Megalith of Doom or other public spaces. There is to be no gnawing on or
otherwise disturbing city property. Beyond that, common sense applies to
respect from a visitor.
-- Kalas @Zagreus, Minister of Security