Hallifaxian Singles Banter

Zyphora

Part One: In which Portius and Zyphora discuss the pros and cons of inanimate spouses.



You say to Portius, "Why can't we find a wife for you again?"

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says, "Because last I
knew I was related to nearly every unwed lady of the appropriate class in
Hallifax?"

You laughingly say, "Oh yes, I remember now."

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says, "It is somewhat
inconvenient. If only one could marry books. I'd have ever so many potential
wives to choose form."

The corners of your mouth turn up as you grin mischievously.

You say, "If only."

You look thoughtful and say, "If we could make all inanimate objects eligible
for marriage, I bet Irillia would be married to the stage."

You say, "And I. I would be married to half-finished sketches of tailoring."

The body of Chief Superintendent Blake appears in a flash and his soul descends
to fill it, causing the previously expressionless face to fill with emotion.

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says, "Hm. Your mate
would have an advantage over hers. Yours could be kept in a pocket."

Blake raises an eyebrow questioningly.

You nod your head emphatically.

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says to Blake, "Her
preferred mate, if one could marry inanimate objects."

You say, "One could hire a ventriloquist to perform vows on the part of the
inanimate spouse."

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says, "But that would
lengthen the ceremony!"

The corners of your mouth turn up as you grin mischievously.

You say, "Long ceremonies are what we live for!"

You say, "All the pomp, prestige, and regalia, no expense to spare."

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says, "Bah. There are
many advantages to an inanimate bride in my mind: A short ceremony, the ability
to keep it in a box and ignore it when I feel the need to do so, the ease of
finding one..."

You peer at Portius unscrupulously.

With mock sternness, you say to Portius, "You are lucky that the Lady is not
about to hear that!"

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says, "Oh, surely She
would understand!"

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says, "Why, if one could
marry inanimate objects, I would beg Her to sculpt me a bride Herself!"

You say to Portius, "She'd say, 'But all the beauty of a bride lies in her
vivavious personality and charming wit! An inanimate bride would sacrifice those
pleasures!'"

You give a trillingly melodic laugh.

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says, "Perhaps so, dear
cousin, but if the options are a statue or nothing at all, the statue is
superior and it is best to focus on those advantages that it does have."

You say, "Well, I do suppose if any can make a sculpture that can hope to match
a living mortal's depth of emotion, it's the Lady Aesthete."

The corners of your mouth turn up as you grin mischievously.

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says, "Precisely. Perhaps
I should make that request when I next sacrifice to Her."

You smile impishly and say, "I agree. I should enjoy hearing of Her response."

With a wistful look on his face, Portius touches a teardrop pendulum of starlit
quartz.

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says, "Perhaps She would
care to listen now."

You nod your head emphatically.

You smile impishly and say, "A fervent prayer could work as well."

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says, "Lady, if You are
listening to Your humble servant, he would very much appreciate Your sculpting
him a bride."

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says, "Well, perhaps She
finds my desperation amusing and would rather prolong my bachelordom at any rate."
.
You look thoughtful and say, "If She has not responded yet to your mention of
wifing a book, then I think She must be busy with other Divine tasks at the
moment."

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says, "Oh, most likely. I
shall have to remember to petition Her when I next have Her most treasured
attention."

Blake searches the air in front of him, then tugs upon an invisible strand of
force.

You nod your head emphatically.

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says, "Or perhaps you, as
Her avatar, could intercede on my behalf. Make me sound both desperate and
slightly pathetic, in the hopes that She will take pity on me."

The corners of your mouth turn up as you grin mischievously.

You say, "I shall have no trouble accomplishing that feat."

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says, "I am no expert,
dear cousin, but that almost sounded like a quip."

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says, "If I lived in the
bizarre world of the romance story, I should have to duel you. Presumably over
some lady's affection."

Stifling a giggle and attempting to sound grave, you say, "Of course not, my
dear cousin. I only mean to say that I shall intercede most chivalrously on your
behalf to find you an inanimate, Aesthetic spouse."

You smile impishly and say, "And I would win that duel anyway."

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says, "That is highly
likely. I am not well suited to sweaty, physical work like duelling."

With mock offence, you say, "And you're saying that I am?"

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says, "Relatively
speaking, I most presume so. What is combat? A time when one convulses, throws
oneself at another, and hopes not to bleed too much. My aversion to these things
are so strong that I cannot help but think that all people are better suited to
it than I."

You say, "A very composed and safe response, dear cousin. You have taught
yourself well."

You frown and say, "Also, I do not convulse when I throw myself at things."

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says, "I have picked up a
little bit of the art of saying nothing in a great many words."

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says, "You do not, my
dear? I thought that throwing oneself at another was almost always accompanied
by convulsion."

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says, "Usually followed
by the expulsion of blood."

You say, "Of course not, I simply wave my staff and the enemy is vanquished. No
convulsions needed on my part."
.
You say, "I cannot think of what plays you have seen to think combat is like
that."

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says, "Hm. And no
convulsions accompany this waving of your staff?"

You say, "None at all."

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says, "Fascinating."

Zyphora

Part Two: In which Portius's mother Phoebus intercedes and Order recruitments are attempted.



Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says, "Oh, dear. I have
just noticed that another of the Lady's has left Her order. And the Collective,
for that matter."

Kaeldran arrives from the north.

You greet Kaeldran with a sincere smile.

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says to you, "You really
must go on a recruiting spree to fill up the ranks."

Kaeldran nods his head at you.

You say to Kaeldran, "How are you doing, Neophyte Kaeldran?"

You say to Kaeldran, "Any questions thus far?"

Air Neophyte Kaeldran says, "I'm doing well, Provost. If there are any questions,
I'll be sure to ask."

You nod your head emphatically.

A deathly cold wind sweeps through, causing your very breath to begin to freeze
as Phoebus, riding a golden thunderbird, enters from the up.
A thunderclap amidst golden lightning announces the entrance of a golden
thunderbird from the up.

Phoebus inclines her head politely to those around her.

"Greetings!" Kaeldran says with a smile.

Portius bows respectfully to Phoebus.

(Hallifax): You say, "If there are any seeking to be closer to the Lady Isune as
one of Her followers, feel free to notify me."

You say to Portius, "Was that good?"

The corners of your mouth turn up as you grin mischievously.

(Hallifax): Phoebus says, "And likewise, for Lord Zvoltz, and me!"

You give a trillingly melodic laugh.

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says to you, "Only if it
works, cousin."

(Hallifax): Phoebus says, "I feel I should chime in with that before He is
displeased with my recruitment efforts not matching yours."

(Hallifax): Kaeldran says, "What of those of us who do not know what they seek?"

You say to Portius, "I shall have to make a note to ask more often. I know that
when I was a novice, I was too terrified to go about asking people to induct me."

(Hallifax): Portius says, "If you wish to dedicate yourself to the most noble
and astonishingly beautiful Lady Aesthete, you may also inquire with me. I will
be most pleased with your excellent taste in patrons."

(Hallifax): You say, "It is a safe move, Magistrate. Those lightning bolts of
His are rather painful."

(Hallifax): You say, "Those of you who do not know what they seek may inquire
about either's Tenets and see how closely they match with your own beliefs."

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says to you, "Hm. As I
recall I thought nothing of it until certain members of a certain order decided
that I should consider worshipping a certain Lord Architect."

Portius gives Phoebus the once-over, eyeing her suspiciously.

Magistrate Phoebus Windwhisper, Shaper of Systems says, "That was Divine mandate."

Magistrate Phoebus Windwhisper, Shaper of Systems says, "It was awkward for me,
too!"

You nod your head emphatically.

(Hallifax): Kaeldran says, "Hmm. I feel that my studies may take precedence at
current. Will keep this in mind."

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says, "If it is any
consolation, Maellio also pursued me on the Lord's behalf."

You smile impishly and say, "We should go on more recruitment sprees to
accommodate novices like ourselves then."

Magistrate Phoebus Windwhisper, Shaper of Systems says, "The Lord Architect
found you to be an interesting individual. As anyone would!"

Phoebus nods her head sagely.

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says, "Hm. It almost
makes me wonder why the Lady never sent anyone after me. Although I suppose I
sent myself to Her."

Magistrate Phoebus Windwhisper, Shaper of Systems says, "Why haven't you been
married yet, again? Why must you deprive me of grandchildren?"

Air Neophyte Kaeldran says, "If I may, shouldn't that be the way things go?"

Looking uncertain, Phoebus nudges Portius with her foot.

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says to Phoebus, "I am
not married, mother, because there are hardly any marriagable women in Hallifax
that I am not related to."

Phoebus waves her hand dismissively.

Magistrate Phoebus Windwhisper, Shaper of Systems says, "Try being a woman
sometime."

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says to Phoebus, "If
you'd like me to marry, you are more than welcome to arrange for me to meet
potential brides."

Phoebus scratches her head in confusion.

Magistrate Phoebus Windwhisper, Shaper of Systems says, "The only people I know
who are both not related to us and interested in men are men."

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says to Kaeldran, "One
sometimes pursues Divine attention, and other times They pursue you. It really
depends on the situation."

Air Neophyte Kaeldran says, "Is it... required of men here?"

Phoebus gives a trillingly melodic laugh.

Portius looks around furtively, brings his hand to his mouth and releases a
small 'teehee'.

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says to Kaeldran, "If it
is, I must be a poor example of my gender."

Kaeldran blushes furiously.

Zyphora

Part III: In which Phoebus is almost zapped, some bad puns are made, and Ironbeard visits!



Magistrate Phoebus Windwhisper, Shaper of Systems says, "I charmed him, with my
charming Magistrate ways."

The corners of your mouth turn up as you grin mischievously.

You say, "Not your lightning bolts?"

Magistrate Phoebus Windwhisper, Shaper of Systems says, "Oh no, I try to stick
to reason, not force. I am Shaper, after all."

You nod your head sagely.

Air Neophyte Kaeldran says, "Can one not Shape with force?"

The corners of your mouth turn up as you grin mischievously.

Magistrate Phoebus Windwhisper, Shaper of Systems says, "Sure. But it's not in
my job description!"

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says, "I would make a
comment regarding your Lord's noted fondness for shaping things by means of
lightning, but I am not near a lightning rod myself at the moment."

Magistrate Phoebus Windwhisper, Shaper of Systems sticks out her tongue and says
to Portius, "An Avatar of His practically acts as one. The closer you are to the
Lord Architect, the more likely you are to be hit by lightning."

Magistrate Phoebus Windwhisper, Shaper of Systems says, "You offend Him, pow,
I'll get zapped for being your mother."

Phoebus nods her head at herself.

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says, "Ah! You see,
everyone, why you should venerate the Lady. She hardly ever smites anybody!"

Air Neophyte Kaeldran says, "I'm taking notes."

Phoebus's eyes sparkle with amusement.

Air Neophyte Kaeldran says, "For some reason, I feel that being smited is not
one of my favorite things."

Air Neophyte Kaeldran says, "Being smote? Smitten?"

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says to Kaeldran, "Well,
if you'd like to learn more about my most perfectly charming patron, there is a
book in the library. Simply search for the books that I wrote to find it."

Magistrate Phoebus Windwhisper, Shaper of Systems looks thoughtful and says,
"Smitten tends to mean you're smitten with someone."

Magistrate Phoebus Windwhisper, Shaper of Systems says, "...what does that even
mean, anyway, now that I think about it?"

Magistrate Phoebus Windwhisper, Shaper of Systems says, "Smitten? Mittens?"

Air Neophyte Kaeldran says, "As I gathered, but 'smited' does not sound quite
right."

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says, "You could perhaps
ask the Lord Architect what term he prefers."

Air Neophyte Kaeldran says, "Ahh. I thought of that. I... shall pass."

Phoebus's eyes sparkle with amusement.

Air Neophyte Kaeldran says, "Do not believe myself sturdy enough for the answer."

A lattice of energy crackles across the firmament in coruscating arcs of icy
white brilliance.
Phoebus's body begins to glow with a resplendent light as shock and agony
register on her face. As she opens her mouth to scream, fulminating arcs of icy
white brilliance explode from her form, coursing across her body. As the energy
engulfs her, she is replaced by a quaking structure of delicate lines that warps
and strains before the energy fades away in a harsh crackle of static.

You peer about yourself unscrupulously.

Magistrate Phoebus Windwhisper, Shaper of Systems says, "Hello, Lord!"

You say, "Hello!"

Air Neophyte Kaeldran looks around warily.

Portius looks around furtively, brings his hand to his mouth and releases a
small 'teehee'.

Phoebus thrusts her fist skyward as sparks of electricity crackle within her
eyes.

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says, "Greetings, Lord
Architect. Your timing is perfect as ever."

Magistrate Phoebus Windwhisper, Shaper of Systems says, "See, look. I'm fine."

Air Neophyte Kaeldran says, "Fine thing, lightning. Always enjoyed it."

"Good!" Phoebus enthuses at Kaeldran.

Air Neophyte Kaeldran says, "Also, the letter 'z'."

Phoebus rubs her chin thoughtfully, raises her eyebrow and says, "I see..."

You say, "Hmm."

You say, "But are you not interested in the finer points in life, such as the
arts?"

Magistrate Phoebus Windwhisper, Shaper of Systems says, "Hey, they're not
mutually exclusive. I am an artist. Part time."

Air Neophyte Kaeldran says, "Oh yes, but currently... lightning. Fantastic stuff."

Magistrate Phoebus Windwhisper, Shaper of Systems says, "Hee hee. Currently."

Phoebus raises her hand to her mouth and titters girlishly.

Portius looks around furtively, brings his hand to his mouth and releases a
small 'teehee'.

You look up into the air for divine inspiration.

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says to Kaeldran, "Please,
please tell me that was deliberate."

Beads of sweat break out on Kaeldran's face.

You say, "All of you are awful."

The corners of your mouth turn up as you grin mischievously.

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says, "I think He
appreciates puns, doesn't He?"

Magistrate Phoebus Windwhisper, Shaper of Systems says, "...for a...certain
sense of appreciate..."

Magistrate Phoebus Windwhisper, Shaper of Systems says, "I think He appreciates
me giving Him free reasons to zap me."

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says, "I seem to
distinctly recall telling Him one and not getting zapped."

Magistrate Phoebus Windwhisper, Shaper of Systems says, "See, exactly. But I
would, because I'm Shaper."

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says, "Ah, yes. Here it
was. What bird is best suited to the battlefield? A duck, because it always
minds its head."

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says, "I'm still proud of
that one."

A wry smile spreads across Phoebus's face.

You give a pained sigh.

You say, "I rescind my question asking why you are not married yet."

Portius gives a pained sigh.

The corners of your mouth turn up as you grin mischievously.

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says, "I hardly ever make
puns, you know!"

Air Neophyte Kaeldran says, "Why not?"

Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Fellow of the Institute says, "Just...sometimes.
When the opportunity presents itself."

Magistrate Phoebus Windwhisper, Shaper of Systems says, "Clearly we need to get
Casilu to come back. She appreciates our sense of humor."

The rowdy notes of a drinking song, faint at first, then rising to the
undisputed intensity of a Dwarf On A Mission, herald the arrival of Ironbeard
the Magnanimous who casts his beam of a smile about himself as he arrives.
Ironbeard the Magnanimous hiccups and says, "Special people like Kaeldran
deserve something special on special days."

Utterly entranced, Phoebus emits a long "Ooooh."

Phoebus applauds Kaeldran heartily.

Portius applauds Kaeldran heartily.

Comprehension flashes across your face.

You feel that Kaeldran deserves some congratulation, and so you clap wildly.

Kaeldran raises an eyebrow questioningly.

Magistrate Phoebus Windwhisper, Shaper of Systems says to Ironbeard the
Magnanimous, "Now get out!"

With a sudden look of concentration, Ironbeard the Magnanimous smiles a crooked
smile, rubs his ample stomach, and fades to nothingness, followed by the sound
of a distant belch.

Phoebus nods her head at herself.