Conflict (not PK) gives me a lot of reason to stay up late thinking about how and why people play games. I have a tendency to overanalyze everything, so I've spent far too many hours not sleeping and weighing actions I could take to resolve my current in-game drama. I am aware that I sometimes develop a reputation of wanting to cause trouble - which I resent, cause the vast majority of time all I want to do is be a Good Citizen and help my org. I don't like starting fights with other players, pk or otherwise.
At the same time, moments come up that makes a voice say to me, 'wouldn't it be interesting if...' Often I act on it. It's what provides inspiration for Deep Thoughts, and gives ideas for the (real life) books I write. The outcome of taking those risks has always been worth the consequences of failure. No, really: always. Once, in a different IRE game, a couple choices I made led to some of the worst bit of drama I've ever gone through, rivaling this year's ascension. I lost friends on both sides of that conflict, IC and OOCLY, and things that I'd worked for months to achieve. It wasn't fun going through it. However: that was years ago. All it is to me now is a story I like to tell of the most "epic" thing I've ever done in that game, and the only regret about it was not trying harder to not get caught.
Being adverse to conflict is not necessarily a good thing. Risks taken can lead to moments that you enjoy, that have positive outcomes too - and when they don't, you may still get a sense of perspective and a good story. Unpleasant as ascension was, some of the thoughts I've had about it and the situation in Hallifax directly led to starting that gossip page in Gaudiguch. And I enjoy working on it, even if that's not an outcome I would have expected. The biggest value of taking risks in games is that the consequences of doing so in real life are far more severe when you fail. Even so, the perspective I've developed about in-game failures also makes it easier to take risks in real life.
- There is always a way to take something positive from bad outcomes, and learning how to process emotions from the latter can lead to more of the former
- Games provide safe environments in which to do that
"Chairwoman," Princess Setisoki states, holding up a hand in a gesture for her to stop and returning the cup. "That would be quite inappropriate. One of the males will serve me."