So, I'm about to share something with you all that only a select few know. Most of you will sympathise, some will laugh and a few may even make jokes. Whatever path you take, that's up to you and is a direct reflection on the kind of person you are.
So... At the age of fourteen, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. After numerous admissions to hospital against my will and a few years later, I had a new label put on me: Schizoaffective disorder. Now, I'm neither of the above. While I do experience times of severe depression and low moods coupled with paranoia and unwarranted delusions, I don't actually fit into any of these boxes. I'm inbetween and that's a problem for me. At times, the hallucinations are tolerable and I'm fully aware that what I am hearing and seeing is false. I like to think that I'm very in touch with my illness, though I'm told by those close to me that is not the case a lot of the time. I'll freely admit right now that there has been times when I have been playing Lusternia that I actually was holding that mandolin in my hands and that magical fire seeped from it. Othertimes, I'll be fighting and see a tumble and I'll be looking over the top of my workstation, random object in my hand, waiting to bash you on the head and wind up destroying x, y or z.
Times come, now and again where people say things and I'll take it completely personally and see it as a direct attack on my person. Some of you may have experienced me act completely out-of-character (for me, personally, not any role I play in game). Know this: IT'S NOT ME. It's easy to determine what personality I am currently in by asking how old I am. My real age is 40, but at times, I'm 19 and others, I'm 26. My 19 year old is extremely immature and rash. At 26, I think things through overly and act very maturely. The 26 year old is my coder self. (I can't code a single bit 95% of the time. I just end up staring at the monitor thinking what to do).
I felt I had to share this with you all to help people understand why I act the way I do from time to time. You should never take it personally if I respond in a certain way. Best is to just completely ignore it and pretend to be AFK, or something.
To further quell any speculation and jokes on the part of some... Yes, I'm the player behind both Draylor and Caerlyr which might help to further reinforce the above.
If you've any questions, please feel free to comment and I'll do my best to address each in turn. For now, Taer is set for retirement. Whether I'll actually go through with it remains to be seen. I have yet to respond to the email.
Finally, if I have annoyed, hurt, pissed you off, etc, in any way over the years, know that I am truly sorry and that it is not a way I would usually act.
With that, I'm done. Happy bashing each others heads in.