General Dissatisfaction

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  • PhoebusPhoebus tu fui, ego eris. Circumstances
    Sylvanas said:
    Phoebus said:
    I'm having one of those nights where I can't stop feeling like someone is behind me, I keep seeing black figures flickering in and out of my peripheral vision, and it feels like all the eyes on everything in the room are staring at me maliciously. I can't even bear to look at my adorable baby bunny desktop wallpaper when this happens. I wish I wasn't like this. I'm just glad I don't even remotely believe in anything supernatural, so it's easier for me to not buy into my own delusions. The unsettling feeling and the paranoia still get me in a bad way, but I know it's just a feeling, and not anything besides my own brain causing it. I've mused before that if I thought ghosts were real, I'd probably think I was haunted as heck. Thankfully, ghosts don't exist, and I'm just schizophrenic. Yay, I guess?
    I'm sorry. That seems like a really rough deal.
    It makes me feel guilty to say so, but yeah, it is. I feel like I'm under a lot of pressure to act like I'm ok and everything's fine, but if things were manageable then my life would be a lot different. I don't talk about my schizophrenia a lot; my family doesn't even know. I worry that people will think differently of me when they find out, but it's also difficult dealing with this constant feeling that people only like me because they don't know who I really am. I get impostor syndrome over the stupidest things, and it's tiring. So, I'm trying to be more honest about myself, while also hoping it's not bothering people. But I still don't know if/when I'll ever tell my family. Probably not while I'm still living with them, at least.
  • I have someone in my life who always invites me to things and places that they know perfectly well I don't like, which gives me the choice of either saying no, and being the one who 'isn't making the effort,' or saying yes, and being miserable and resentful the entire time. Interpersonal relationships are difficult.
    #NoWireHangersEver

    Vive l'apostrophe!
  • LuceLuce Fox Populi
    Say no, but counter-offer suggestions that you would enjoy. Follow through on any he or she agrees to. You can't be accused of not making the effort if you're clearly making the effort.
  • DaraiusDaraius Shevat The juror's taco spot
    I really want to want to play, but I just haven't.. since like September. :|
    I used to make cakes.

    Estarra the Eternal says, "Give Shevat the floor please."
  • SylandraSylandra Join Queue for Mafia Games The Last Mafia Game
    Daraius said:
    I really want to want to play, but I just haven't.. since like September. :|
    <3 If it makes you feel better, I haven't been super active myself. Unless you count forums.
    Daraius said:
    "Oh yeah, you're a naughty mayor, aren't you? Misfile that Form MA631-D. Comptroller Shevat's got a nice gemstone disc for you, but yer gonna have to beg for it."
  • Daraius said:
    I really want to want to play, but I just haven't.. since like September. :|
    I know how you feel there. I've just been busy all weekend and been in a bit of pain from my tumble earlier this week.

    Avurekhos says, "Dylara's a PvP menace in my eyes, totes rekting face."

    The eye of Dylara materialises in your hands and flings itself around your neck, tightening incomprehensibly until it is irremovable.
    Perfectly clean, this eyeball has been wrenched from the socket of Dylara. It has been animated by some unusual force, constantly looking around itself as if in shock or fear. It is bathed in a light covering of white flames that roll endlessly over its surface. A single chain of empyreal metal pierces either side of the eye, allowing it to be worn around the neck.


  • SazSaz
    edited October 2016
    I've enjoyed pvp and raids, generally. The both ends of it too. Never have i  complained because my character is on a kill-on-sight list. It -is- where he's gotten himself into. Despite obviously, he's usually received a lot more than what he's done. Things like finding his head spiked at his nexus/other public spots quite regularly, for an example. Constantly being jumped at the elemental/ethereal/faethorn, at the places he's obviously not enemied to. Those are things he's never done, be it initiative or responsive. The worst thing he has done however, is that Saz joined a rather large group of northern alliance to intervene an Astral hunt of South twice, because it was asked and he does believe in helping out his allies. He did die inevitably in both tries, as a side note aswell.  And for those, he and his hunting groups got jumped in return afterwards and that's both perfectly reasonable and fine in a retaliating sense.

    I'm not venting because of anything I've elaborated above. Those were put so, you can understand how I perceive PvP myself and how I genuinely don't care about pvp deaths/kills in the sake of sharing some good time with other players. Despite, for the first time today, I am really sour over it.

    For a while now, speaking for Seren, there's a handful few that's left caring if there's a raid or not. I am voicing a blanket statement because, I feel it's perfectly observable. People that used to show up for defending just tend to do other things they rather prefer nowadays, instead of being forced to PvP for hours and hours. Be it hunting/RP/whatever and I can relate to their reasoning. To better explain the situation, It was not this day, but sometime about two weeks ago where I felt like I had to sit here for 8 straight hours because that's what my character would do against a raid that nearly took 1/3 of a RL day. That wasn't pleasant for me to say the least, or any other defender that participated throughout the day. I have kept hearing IC/OOC those raids have continued and I've gladly missed them because I'm playing a lot less followed with my lack of IG availability.

    But today, the particular highlight was that my character got jumped while doing Seren's Epic Quest, to do that was the -sole reason- i logged in for during my break from the studies. Items lost(hence the progress lost), the window of opportunity missed. I'll not hint further for spoilers, but there's one for that quest. His IC approach to resolve the situation got neglected and it did turn out into another "So you guys want to fight 2v2 now? How cute, we'll just sit here and wait until there's no defender for our convenience. Which may or may not take another 8 hours." So, yeah. No way to retrieve whatever that was lost, fine. Then pardon me, but it -is- griefing. I'm not going to stay logged in that much to make up for whatever that was forced on my character either. I'm a typical quitter. Right?

    I don't care anymore guys, nor have I taken PvP anything further than some mild entertainment to begin with. Despite I did enjoy my time here as a lowbie and newbie pvp-enthusiast for a few months, I don't have to deal with "this". But my character has to. As long as this game remains as a Roleplaying game, he just has to. Given my focus/energy/time for the game shrieveled as most of you probably have noticed, now i'm questioning whether Saz should do anything at all. The odds are highly in favor of this. I will turn him into a RP/emoting only character until he wraps some RP up and then, I will avoid logging in altogether. So yeah, my already diminished play-time will evolve into something even more scarce in the next few months, that's for sure.

    What's not too certain is whether i'll muster enough time and energy to put up with things like this in future? 

    I mean, I know in a couple of days if not hours i'll forget about whatever that has happened. Taking a step back always helps and not just that, Saz will always start anew. Which, ICly is his general motto and how he progresses/learns things. But I know for sure experiences like this will push me away from the game, while I toy with the idea of whether I should login during the short breaks i've. Which for a fact has already lead me into qq'ing earlier today.

    I'm sorry you lot had to endure my vent with this wall of text, but despite i've read this a few times before ultimately posting it. I am content to push the button below. And perhaps in the future, others will not go through it, because it was voiced. Perhaps some sort of a measurement will prevent other people from being -have to- defend one third of the day? Perhaps there'll be a generally better understanding of how this game is not a singleplayer game and certain people will bear more tolerance for other players that rather explores other aspects of the game. Admittedly, none of those are what I'm expecting to witness in a close future, nor I'm willing to stay so I can watch them grow.

    My time here, had been throughoutly pleasant and fun with allies/enemies/divines/family/friends/whomever really. Even some random tells I've gotten IC/OOC from people I've never interacted with made me smile. I've gotten great vibes from the playerbase generally and that's really unique of you folks. 

    Thanks for all the good times and farewell until we meet again.
     "Oh the year was 453CE, how I wish I was in Serenwilde now... aletter of marque come from the regent to the scummiest aethership I ever seen, gods damn them all...I was told we'd cruise the void for auronidion and dust, we'd fire no turrets, shed no tears.. now I'm a broken man on a Hallifax tier, the last of Saz's privateers."

    -Kilian
  • XenthosXenthos Shadow Lord
    If people are doing 8-hour-long-raids they are going way, way overboard.  Even raids that break the hour mark (when not aiming at smobs) are getting a bit over the top.  Some raiding is good, but burning out defenders just means less raiding fun for all in the future.

    I have noticed certain people who seem to have taken to overraiding of Seren recently.  Not a fan, just like I was not when it was happening to Glom.
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  • Jumping someone to stop them from doing the epic quest makes so much sense from an RP perspective, but is so griefy in reality.  I hope nobody does it.  There are plenty of other ways to RP wise and mechanically display your opposition to an org.  Actively blocking people from achieving their personal goals in the game hurts the community.
    Take great care of yourselves and each other.
  • LuceLuce Fox Populi
    It's a little different if you're blocking by pushing your own Epic through, because then it's theoretically actual competition, but blocking Epics for the sake of blocking Epics is lame.
  • Ciaran said:
    Jumping someone to stop them from doing the epic quest makes so much sense from an RP perspective, but is so griefy in reality.  I hope nobody does it.  There are plenty of other ways to RP wise and mechanically display your opposition to an org.  Actively blocking people from achieving their personal goals in the game hurts the community.
    I would take getting jumped over mechanical interference every single time... Death is over in a couple of minutes. Quest interference can set you back hours/days.
    #NoWireHangersEver

    Vive l'apostrophe!
  • XenthosXenthos Shadow Lord
    edited October 2016
    In this case it sounds like it was both; death led to theft of a quest item which (probably, speculation based on it being a Commune epic quest) can't be received again for 32 hours.
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  • EnyalidaEnyalida Nasty Woman, Sockpuppeteer to the Gods
    Serenwilde's epic has you ferrying a lot of items around. To avoid problems with that, I would always bury any item immediately after I received it, in a random part of prime Serenwilde where it would be very unlikely to be stolen. It is also fairly straightforwards to disrupt the line collecting portion without stepping foot into contested areas by disrupting a non-forest quest, which sucks pretty badly. 
  • PhoebusPhoebus tu fui, ego eris. Circumstances
    I am annoyed. I just wanted to make these damn sugar cookies for Halloween, because I thought I'd do something nice for my niece, but she's been whining throughout the entire process and threw a fit because the dough has to chill in the fridge before we can roll it out and cut the shapes. Sorry I'm not a frickin' time traveler, kid. Sorry, not sorry, I can't bend the universe to your will. I'm gonna make them and eat all of them right in front of you if you keep this up. Christ. I hate children.
  • edited October 2016
    My mother had a solution to that problem when my sister and I were bratty children: a swift back-hand to the face or a wooden spoon to the knuckles. We learned real quick to be patient.

    Obviously the aunt-uncle/niece-nephew relationship is a bit different than the mother/child relationship, but putting down disrespect transcends family boundaries!

  • edited October 2016
    @Saz - I understand the frustration. I ended up just going off to RP once it became clear after a few days that the raiding wasn't going to stop, which is kinda lame of me I guess. I did try seeking non-pk solutions, such as RP with the main culprit and opening talks with Rideta/Magnagora. 


    I'm jaded enough to know that PKers are gonna PK. Oh, yes, I had every justification in the book and even coded a tracker to keep a list of minor insults so I could gank people when bored. I really was, once upon a time, worse than the current problem. Systems to funnel that PK urge totally help, although if one side stops showing up then you end up back with the raiding.  Still, it does mitigate it a lot, from my experience. Divine and player  intervention also helps, forcing characters to really look at their actions and motivations. Social shunning is also good - once you find yourself disliked and harassed enough it does help make you start to behave. This sort of behavior is rarely done in a vacuum and PK cliques can become an echo-chamber for bad behavior. The worse example I remember is a whole group of us finding it hilarious to hunt down noncomm people RPing (usually) naughty things and then claim PK on them when they, understandably, used offensive skills to try to make us go. We all cheered each other on. There was no voice of reason encouraging us to be nice peole instead of bratty teens. I even got a divine favor for some of my bitchiness, which just encouraged me!

    For me, OOC chat about the effects I was having on others + being ganked a ton/robbed/seeing what it felt like + well-deserved hostility + kinda just growing up and getting empathy helped me see that I was being lame. Being drawn into RP helped temper my tantrums and PK urges. I'm rambling, but I guess my insight is that someone has to want to change. You can try to help open the door, be that through friendly OOC talks about their impact or by just griefing them into the ground. Until then, imo, the best you can do is offer systems to mitigate their painful/annoying/tiring impact.

    Honestly, I've been on both sides in my years of MUDs and while I do think the current situation is excessive and tiring, if I look back to my early days in MUDs where I almost only did PK, I do understand the motivation. Fighting can be fun. Really fun. Currently Lusternia only offers a few ways to spark conflict, and most of it is on long intervals. I know I've been itchy to try out PK since I changed classes but nothing has come up to join in (Brea does not raid, only fights for org/defence currently. Karlach has other ideas). I am not excusing the excessive raiding at all, but I do think daily PK events ala Imperian's shardfall would do a LOT to mitigate the raids. People would have a way to fight fairly often, in a non-griefy way, which also is inclusive to people who want to PK but don't want to be overly hostile to other orgs. It also would make it easier for divine to step in, imo, as raiding would become a Big Deal and not just the method to achieve that daily PK fix. 

    I'm really sorry to hear how you feel. I felt the same (literally was turning in artifacts for retirement when I got a tell that pulled me deep into RP), and I wasn't nearly as active in PK as you. I'm also sorry for abandoning you and SW during raids (I totally went to go play a moba during some of the worst of it). I know how utterly demoralizing it can be to as a leader to feel like people aren't supporting you. It's not a fair place for you to be.

    I honestly think at this point admin should step in, if only in a strongly-discouraging roleplayed response. 
  • Man, when I complained I got told to toughen up and take it. Glad to see the other side wants to see it stop too now.

    Sorry to hear about your leaving Saz, I know exactly how you feel, and I wish you didn't feel forced into this because it sucks, majorly. Take a bit of a break, and also ignore raids when you're just not feeling  it if you decide to keep playing, even if it means all the time, and ignore people who force you into defending if it's just not your cup of tea. I hope whatever you choose, you're happy and you're enjoying yourself, always a sad day to lose a Lusternia player.

    Avurekhos says, "Dylara's a PvP menace in my eyes, totes rekting face."

    The eye of Dylara materialises in your hands and flings itself around your neck, tightening incomprehensibly until it is irremovable.
    Perfectly clean, this eyeball has been wrenched from the socket of Dylara. It has been animated by some unusual force, constantly looking around itself as if in shock or fear. It is bathed in a light covering of white flames that roll endlessly over its surface. A single chain of empyreal metal pierces either side of the eye, allowing it to be worn around the neck.


  • From what I've seen, sidehopping in the middle of it and talking to people on both sides, especially the main instigator in question, it seems to really just be certain individuals. IC the main instigator says that it will continue. Attempts to chat about it OOC weren't replied to, IC diplomacy (did anyone follow through with Rideta? She seemed open to helping) and even RP did see results - at the least, he would hold still long enough to do the evil villain monologue.
  • EnyalidaEnyalida Nasty Woman, Sockpuppeteer to the Gods
    Part of the issue is that there just isn't any way to punish bad behavior like that. Someone doing hit and running will just run to Prime and be virtually immune to direct retribution. It's very hard to limit their power to continue to commit hit-and-runs besides complaining at them, and if the goal is to take up your time/gain satisfaction by "affecting the enemy", you following them around like a puppydog waiting for them to step into enemy territory only reinforces the original behavior.  
  • Yeah Avenger does seem to hinder PK-based policing. Political efforts might help? When I was at my worst, most orgs had kicked me or wouldn't take me in. It's a good way to force a reality check for bad behavior.
  • KarlachKarlach God of Kittens.
    The idea of raids lasting several hours baffles me, what is even left at that point, what engagement goes on for that length of time that people are constantly fighting?

    Rhetorical question, in truth you're sat there bashing respawns and hoping people run headfirst alone into your group.

    That's never been PK worth a damn, you learn nothing from it and usually those are the people who are the first to complain about skills when they get beaten in competitive scenarios, especially things like ascension.


    The idea of raiding for that length of time is.mindboggling, surely people have better things to do?

    The divine voice of Avechna, the Avenger reverberates powerfully, "Congratulations, Morkarion, you are the Bringer of Death indeed."

    You see Estarra the Eternal shout, "Morkarion is no more! Mourn the mortal! But welcome True Ascendant Karlach, of the Realm of Death!


    image
  • Dylara said:
    Man, when I complained I got told to toughen up and take it. Glad to see the other side wants to see it stop too now.

    Sorry to hear about your leaving Saz, I know exactly how you feel, and I wish you didn't feel forced into this because it sucks, majorly. Take a bit of a break, and also ignore raids when you're just not feeling  it if you decide to keep playing, even if it means all the time, and ignore people who force you into defending if it's just not your cup of tea. I hope whatever you choose, you're happy and you're enjoying yourself, always a sad day to lose a Lusternia player.
    Your false equivalence is bullshit.

    Toughen up
    Take great care of yourselves and each other.
  • That's definitely not going to incite some dirty discourse, nope.

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  • Haha true. I hope Saz doesn't leave, and I hope Mag starts spreading their raid love out a little more.  If they didn't always hit just Seren it'd be less of an issue.
    Take great care of yourselves and each other.
  • KarlachKarlach God of Kittens.
    False equivalence is the new BS argument for "it's ok when we do it."

    If Dylara was a notorious grief artist, your petty smack talk might have had a point.

    The divine voice of Avechna, the Avenger reverberates powerfully, "Congratulations, Morkarion, you are the Bringer of Death indeed."

    You see Estarra the Eternal shout, "Morkarion is no more! Mourn the mortal! But welcome True Ascendant Karlach, of the Realm of Death!


    image
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