EveriineWise Old Swordsbird / BrontaurIndianapolis, IN, USA
Why the week before Christmas? Why must I first have flu-like symptoms, then this blasted cough/headcold thing that's robbed my voice? WHHYYYYYYYY?!
Everiine is a man, and is very manly. This MAN before you is so manly you might as well just gender bend right now, cause he's the manliest man that you ever did see. His manly shape has spurned many women and girlyer men to boughs of fainting. He stands before you in a manly manerific typical man-like outfit which is covered in his manly motto: "I am a man!"
Daraius said: You gotta risk it for the biscuit.
Pony power all the way, yo. The more Brontaurs the better.
Rice burned in the pot, something went wrong. It's never flashed like that.
Pot is ruined but can be salvaged, I can just scrub it out over time.
The countertop I rested the pot on for a second because the sink was fucking full can not be. It's now blackened and bubbled and not great for making bread anymore and I want to throw myself into a fucking ocean and just not exist thanks.
Bookbinder by trade! Designer of most other things.
Rice burned in the pot, something went wrong. It's never flashed like that.
Pot is ruined but can be salvaged, I can just scrub it out over time.
The countertop I rested the pot on for a second because the sink was fucking full can not be. It's now blackened and bubbled and not great for making bread anymore and I want to throw myself into a fucking ocean and just not exist thanks.
Having destroyed a pot and an element on an old stove when the coil sparked and burned the hell out of the pot one time, I sympathise on all parts. *hugs*
Czixi, the Welkin murmurs, "Fight on, My Effervescent Sylph. I will be with you as you do."
Aian Lerit'r, Lead Schematicist exclaims to you, "A *paperwork* emergency, Chairman!
One time I put a whole stainless steel pan in the oven to cook chicken or something after searing it. When it was done I very carefully took it out with potholders and set it on the stovetop... then immediately forgot it had just been in the oven and grabbed the handle with a bare hand.
This isn’t meant to be an appeal to worse outcomes, just further evidence that humans are dumb and cookware can be evil sometimes.
In continuation of my general work suckiness (highly technical term), I misread my hours on clocking out previously, and almost freaked out when I saw I was just below 50 hours clocking out tonight, with six more hours left on my work week. Sigh. I really do need the money though.
petition for an "empathy" or even just a "sympathy" button in the general social media sphere. I don't think the existing roles built into social media ever really give me that. being online and having feelings beyond "oh?" is smothering, THERE IS NO OTHER APPROPRIATE RESPONSE TO THIS THAN "OOF" so I need a button
In continuation of my general work suckiness (highly technical term), I misread my hours on clocking out previously, and almost freaked out when I saw I was just below 50 hours clocking out tonight, with six more hours left on my work week. Sigh. I really do need the money though.
petition for an "empathy" or even just a "sympathy" button in the general social media sphere. I don't think the existing roles built into social media ever really give me that. being online and having feelings beyond "oh?" is smothering, THERE IS NO OTHER APPROPRIATE RESPONSE TO THIS THAN "OOF" so I need a button
I second the 'oof' button.
‘It’s important to be kind. You can’t know all the times that you’ve hurt people in tiny, significant ways. It’s easy to be cruel without meaning to be. There’s nothing you can do about that. But you can choose to be kind. Be kind.’
Possibly long, stressed-out and maybe angry rant...
A few years ago (I honestly forget how long it was), my stepfather was diagnosed with Muscular Dystrophy. For those who don't know, MD is a degenerative disease of the muscles. It is incurable and eventually the person will be unable to perform literally any motor function without assistance. More info here if you want to know the rather grim details of the disease.
Moving on. It wasn't bad at the start, we got a lot of changes to our house because of it (some we had actually needed before even finding that out). Over time though he got more and more ... I don't wanna say "lazy" due to the nature of the illness, but that's pretty much what it was. He stopped bothering to do anything the physiotherapists and occupational therapists told him to do, which (since it was all found early) could be used to help lessen the effects of the disease and prolong it getting worse and worse. As a result, it progressed faster than it otherwise might have.
Further on to about 6 months ago, most days he wouldn't even bother moving from his chair, despite still being able to walk just fine (albeit with a walker). And it started taking its toll on my sister and mother who were caring for him, when his actual carer wasn't here (he wasn't at the point of needing one full-time, so one wasn't provided). Over time, even his carer begun to resent coming to help him because of how far gone his attitude had gotten. I don't wanna paint the picture that it's his fault, but it really didn't help the whole situation...
There were some days he'd fall, and he can't pick himself back up if he did. Neither of us can lift him, not because he's overweight but because well... If any of you have tried to lift deadweight, it's significantly harder. Even if it's only like 50 pounds, it's difficult when the weight is working against your attempts to shift it. So an ambulance would need to be rung to get him back up. He was in and out of the hospital a lot, there was even once or twice that he was discharged because the staff had enough of him, and his condition was 'good enough' to be back home, despite knowing exactly what he's like at home.
He has a sister who lives back in USA, who for lack of better terms in my annoyed state, is a complete asshole. She was constantly trying to start shit over Facebook about how awful my mother is, and that it's our fault he got like this. Over time his carer started pulling the same shit. His social worker knew all about it and yet didn't attempt to find a new one for him. She'd make up stuff to the hospital staff, about how we're to blame because we don't look after him, etc. It's not our fucking job to yet we still did as best we could and 90% of what she did was sit around talking to him and make his lunch. We cleaned up after him, did his laundry and the rest of his cooking. When changes were needed to our house, we agreed to them for his benefit and helped where we were able to. He didn't even use most of the changes except for the shower (see paragraph 2).
About a month and a half ago he was diagnosed with soft tissue sarcoma on his abdomen (around the stomach/intestinal area), and was given two months to live. Due to the state his body was in, the tumour was rendered inoperable; if they did there was a guaranteed chance he would die on the operating table. Not a small chance, a guaranteed one because his body would be too weak to handle it. At this point, he was permanently hospitalised (see previous paragraphs for why). Naturally, his carer and sister spun this as us not caring, and not wanting to deal with him anymore. My mother has fucking been with him for twenty years almost, and he has lived with us for 17 of those. My sister already has back problems, and my mother is still recovering from a quadruple bypass that she had the year before last; she certainly can't handle that level of stress.
He passed away yesterday afternoon and, despite how much their relationship has deteriorated over the past year and half or so, she was very visibly upset over hearing it from the hospital. She may not have loved him anymore, but she certainly hurt knowing that he's no longer around. Despite that, the only thing I can think about is the inevitable bullshit she is going to cop from his sister once the news reaches her. I am 100% going to snap and start yelling if I take wind of it, which I am almost surely going to.
I never resented him despite any of it. I only wished he would have listened to all the medical professionals who told him what he should be doing. If he did, the tumour would have assuredly been operable and he would still be alive. I suppose the only solace is knowing that he doesn't have to live to MD's terrifying end.
Thanks for reading. I'm going to go and lay down now.
The wisdom tooth that had up to this point, despite being shattered, hadn't been hurting, is now hurting. I tend to downplay pain, despite...so I've had a few root canals (brush your teeth yo), and one was infected. It hurt, a lot. But I thought "oh, other people have had worse pain!"
Other people can have pain. So can I! It is not a zero sum game. Or something.
In short, I'm going to be real sparse as I eat ibuprofen and wait for the appointment where I make another appointment for the actual wisdom tooth removal.
If you need me, I actively use the IRE Helper App, and now that it actually displays my new Lusternian messages, I can read them and respond. I'll probably be pretending to understand Historical Houses.
Bookbinder by trade! Designer of most other things.
Appointment has been set for end of month. Am I going to miss being able to design for Beauty Seal? Oh, doesn't matter, I don't place or get mentioned, so.
"Sign this form saying we aren't responsible for anything bad that could happen. Like nerve damage. Or destroying a crown for the root canal that's nearby."
"Will you put the crown back on?"
"Lmao fuck no. We will give it to you so you can have your normal dentist put it on though."
"Okay"
"Oh yeah we also don't prescribe any opiods at all."
"...okay."
"So you're only getting ibuprofen after having two wisdom teeth removed from your jaw."
"...okay."
"Sign here saying we're not responsible for anything."
"...okay. What about the insurance? Will it cover repairing the crown if that happens?"
"Don't know don't care, just care if you sign saying we're not responsible."
Okay it wasn't quite that rude at the end, but basically just a shrug and didn't know anything about insurance, didn't matter, only mattered that I knew they weren't responsible for anything they're doing.
Cool! Got it! Great! Yes! I know!
I've still told husband if I die to find a medical malpractice lawyer >_>
The absolute terror of all this compounded with social stuff with my mom has made me feel incredibly depressed, then feel bad about being depressing to be around, and then worse because all I am doing is whining. Fuck.
Bookbinder by trade! Designer of most other things.
Appointment has been set for end of month. Am I going to miss being able to design for Beauty Seal? Oh, doesn't matter, I don't place or get mentioned, so.
Don't worry. Me neither, to the point where it contributed to me leaving the game for over a year. Edit: It has also made me seriously question my ability to write anything, which I was once fairly confident in. Alas.
Czixi, the Welkin murmurs, "Fight on, My Effervescent Sylph. I will be with you as you do."
Aian Lerit'r, Lead Schematicist exclaims to you, "A *paperwork* emergency, Chairman!
A combination of things lead to my year off, but it was a heavy weight, that was.
People can tell me in game how much they like my designs, or how prolific I am, but if you don't get even an honourable mention the one time designs seem to matter, what the fuck does it actually matter, my depression tells me.
Sure, Mysrai kisses helped back when, but the depression likes to remind me They only favoured me back then because I was so pathetic I couldn't even get an honourable mention. Designs I spent days on, designs I spent minutes on, ones I had other people look over with me, none fucking matter.
Bookbinder by trade! Designer of most other things.
A combination of things lead to my year off, but it was a heavy weight, that was.
People can tell me in game how much they like my designs, or how prolific I am, but if you don't get even an honourable mention the one time designs seem to matter, what the fuck does it actually matter, my depression tells me.
Sure, Mysrai kisses helped back when, but the depression likes to remind me They only favoured me back then because I was so pathetic I couldn't even get an honourable mention. Designs I spent days on, designs I spent minutes on, ones I had other people look over with me, none fucking matter.
I like to tell myself I won't bother this year. Alas, I'm gullible and will talk myself into it somehow.
I really, really, really know how you feel. I went back to a pretty dark place recently over other things that happened to my last character that felt like they were happening again, and I'm sorry in advance to the friends that will hear about it when the inevitable rolls around again.
Let's start a Beauty is Pain support group. Haha.
Czixi, the Welkin murmurs, "Fight on, My Effervescent Sylph. I will be with you as you do."
Aian Lerit'r, Lead Schematicist exclaims to you, "A *paperwork* emergency, Chairman!
"Oh yeah, you're a naughty mayor, aren't you? Misfile that Form MA631-D. Comptroller Shevat's got a nice gemstone disc for you, but yer gonna have to beg for it."
I'm becoming increasingly frustrated at my erratic schedule and inability to line up with anyone else's (with one notable exception). It's really getting kinda upsetting that I just can't do anything with anyone but one person.
Czixi, the Welkin murmurs, "Fight on, My Effervescent Sylph. I will be with you as you do."
Aian Lerit'r, Lead Schematicist exclaims to you, "A *paperwork* emergency, Chairman!
Over the last few years, business has slowed down, and in the last two years, I've had to take a position that pays about 4$ an hour less, and about 18 less hours a week. Said new position (Position A) requires me to wear a respirator due to dust and sparks. After doing the position for a few weeks, a new position opened, and I was able to transfer into that position (B) for about a week. No dust, no sparks.Then, they "temporary transferred" me back to my old position (A) for the next year or so.
I recently went to take a breathing test (to qualify to be able to use a respirator) and failed it because I've been diagnosed with chronic asthma. Company transferred me back to my position (B) but made it known that my respirator position (A) is actually my job, and I need to see my personal doctor to see if he'll release me to wear a respirator. There's an implied "or else".
They've also added a specific duty to my position (B), which is driving what amounts to a small zamboni to sweep up dust. This is the dustiest, nastiest job in the plant, and has in no way any connection to what I do in my position (b) besides "we need someone to do it and don't want to hire anyone".
Everiine said: The reason population is low isn't because there are too many orgs. It's because so many facets of the game are outright broken and protected by those who benefit from it being that way. An overabundance of gimmicks (including game-breaking ones), artifacts that destroy any concept of balance, blatant pay-to-win features, and an obsession with convenience that makes few things actually worthwhile all contribute to the game's sad decline.
Over the last few years, business has slowed down, and in the last two years, I've had to take a position that pays about 4$ an hour less, and about 18 less hours a week. Said new position (Position A) requires me to wear a respirator due to dust and sparks. After doing the position for a few weeks, a new position opened, and I was able to transfer into that position (B) for about a week. No dust, no sparks.Then, they "temporary transferred" me back to my old position (A) for the next year or so.
I recently went to take a breathing test (to qualify to be able to use a respirator) and failed it because I've been diagnosed with chronic asthma. Company transferred me back to my position (B) but made it known that my respirator position (A) is actually my job, and I need to see my personal doctor to see if he'll release me to wear a respirator. There's an implied "or else".
They've also added a specific duty to my position (B), which is driving what amounts to a small zamboni to sweep up dust. This is the dustiest, nastiest job in the plant, and has in no way any connection to what I do in my position (b) besides "we need someone to do it and don't want to hire anyone".
I can see they really value your loyalty. [/sarcasm]
Czixi, the Welkin murmurs, "Fight on, My Effervescent Sylph. I will be with you as you do."
Aian Lerit'r, Lead Schematicist exclaims to you, "A *paperwork* emergency, Chairman!
The thing that is in my mouth that was likely stitching came out which stung. The one on the roof of my mouth has not come out. I'm still supremely tired.
And now I've fallen to the communists, which sucks. I didn't want this compounded with that, but it was inevitable.
Bookbinder by trade! Designer of most other things.
Wow have y'all really been satisfied this long?! Okay, I got one.
People in this house: "you cant cook lol"
Also people in this house:always eating my all my fucking muffins and biscuits whenever I make any
Apparently the only one who can cook steak in this house. Others either have it raw, or practically burnt. "It's hard to make it mid-rare!" - no it fucking isn't, you're just useless and have no sense of time. Protip: If your steak has literal smoke rising from it, with charcoal sides, you're beyond help.
I'm the only one who seems to know how to cook anything with rice in it properly. They either have uncooked, crunchy rice bits floating in it. Or it's sloppy mush that dissolves in your mouth.
Seeing as I'm the one who always has to bloody wash them, I'm also apparently the only one capable of cooking anything egg/cheese-related without half of it sticking to the pots/pans. We even have intact non-stick pots and pans. HOW?!
A bonus one: Toasted sandwiches is rocket science to people in this house. Seemingly the insidesobviously aren't cooked unless the pan is smoking, and there's a visible layer of charcoal covering them. Golden brown bread? UNDERCOOKED--PUT IT BACK HEATHEN!
They say you should love your family, but mine really like testing that. All the time I end up copping shit like, "Wow these are salty/sugary." or "Why did you put so much <x> in this?!" -- Or, as with my recent muffins: "You put too many bananas in these..." --- NEWSFLASH: I DIDN'T MAKE THEM FOR YOU. STOP COMPLAINING. ALTERNATIVELY: STOP EATING THEM.
You fucks say all this about my food, but it sure as hell doesn't stop you eating it all the god damn time.
I got stuck doing something IC that makes me uncomfortable, and it's made me not want to log in or do anything even if I do.
I wrecked my car last Friday, it's completely totalled, and now it looks like I'm going to have a three-week period of no car and trying to figure out a rental, which looks like it's going to cost me about $500 or so out of pocket, before I can get my insurance payout for the old car (RIP my RAV4).
I can't catch an aethertrade. It's been weeks and I am starting to twitch at the idea of even using a button, and tired of seeing the same people I know have all the goop things catching them.
My son is about to be out of school for two weeks, which means my husband's about to be stressing out from 24/7 3-and-5-year-old both home all day every day for a few weeks.
I work in a restaurant, and I'm starting to wonder if the growing trend means I'll be out of work for a few weeks. Even with no late fees and no disconnections of stuff, I'll still have to catch up on those payments somehow on money that barely covers it now.
My mum can't visit from Australia anymore, and we don't know how long she's going to have to postpone. It's been over ten years since I've seen her, and she hasn't met my kids yet.
Things are looking pretty bleak right now.
Czixi, the Welkin murmurs, "Fight on, My Effervescent Sylph. I will be with you as you do."
Aian Lerit'r, Lead Schematicist exclaims to you, "A *paperwork* emergency, Chairman!
Comments
Czixi, the Welkin murmurs, "Fight on, My Effervescent Sylph. I will be with you as you do."
Aian Lerit'r, Lead Schematicist exclaims to you, "A *paperwork* emergency, Chairman!
Estarra the Eternal says, "Give Shevat the floor please."
This isn’t meant to be an appeal to worse outcomes, just further evidence that humans are dumb and cookware can be evil sometimes.
Estarra the Eternal says, "Give Shevat the floor please."
It’s easy to be cruel without meaning to be. There’s nothing you can do about that. But you can choose to be kind. Be kind.’
Moving on. It wasn't bad at the start, we got a lot of changes to our house because of it (some we had actually needed before even finding that out). Over time though he got more and more ... I don't wanna say "lazy" due to the nature of the illness, but that's pretty much what it was. He stopped bothering to do anything the physiotherapists and occupational therapists told him to do, which (since it was all found early) could be used to help lessen the effects of the disease and prolong it getting worse and worse. As a result, it progressed faster than it otherwise might have.
Further on to about 6 months ago, most days he wouldn't even bother moving from his chair, despite still being able to walk just fine (albeit with a walker). And it started taking its toll on my sister and mother who were caring for him, when his actual carer wasn't here (he wasn't at the point of needing one full-time, so one wasn't provided). Over time, even his carer begun to resent coming to help him because of how far gone his attitude had gotten. I don't wanna paint the picture that it's his fault, but it really didn't help the whole situation...
There were some days he'd fall, and he can't pick himself back up if he did. Neither of us can lift him, not because he's overweight but because well... If any of you have tried to lift deadweight, it's significantly harder. Even if it's only like 50 pounds, it's difficult when the weight is working against your attempts to shift it. So an ambulance would need to be rung to get him back up. He was in and out of the hospital a lot, there was even once or twice that he was discharged because the staff had enough of him, and his condition was 'good enough' to be back home, despite knowing exactly what he's like at home.
He has a sister who lives back in USA, who for lack of better terms in my annoyed state, is a complete asshole. She was constantly trying to start shit over Facebook about how awful my mother is, and that it's our fault he got like this. Over time his carer started pulling the same shit. His social worker knew all about it and yet didn't attempt to find a new one for him. She'd make up stuff to the hospital staff, about how we're to blame because we don't look after him, etc. It's not our fucking job to yet we still did as best we could and 90% of what she did was sit around talking to him and make his lunch. We cleaned up after him, did his laundry and the rest of his cooking. When changes were needed to our house, we agreed to them for his benefit and helped where we were able to. He didn't even use most of the changes except for the shower (see paragraph 2).
About a month and a half ago he was diagnosed with soft tissue sarcoma on his abdomen (around the stomach/intestinal area), and was given two months to live. Due to the state his body was in, the tumour was rendered inoperable; if they did there was a guaranteed chance he would die on the operating table. Not a small chance, a guaranteed one because his body would be too weak to handle it. At this point, he was permanently hospitalised (see previous paragraphs for why). Naturally, his carer and sister spun this as us not caring, and not wanting to deal with him anymore. My mother has fucking been with him for twenty years almost, and he has lived with us for 17 of those. My sister already has back problems, and my mother is still recovering from a quadruple bypass that she had the year before last; she certainly can't handle that level of stress.
He passed away yesterday afternoon and, despite how much their relationship has deteriorated over the past year and half or so, she was very visibly upset over hearing it from the hospital. She may not have loved him anymore, but she certainly hurt knowing that he's no longer around. Despite that, the only thing I can think about is the inevitable bullshit she is going to cop from his sister once the news reaches her. I am 100% going to snap and start yelling if I take wind of it, which I am almost surely going to.
I never resented him despite any of it. I only wished he would have listened to all the medical professionals who told him what he should be doing. If he did, the tumour would have assuredly been operable and he would still be alive. I suppose the only solace is knowing that he doesn't have to live to MD's terrifying end.
Thanks for reading. I'm going to go and lay down now.
Edit: It has also made me seriously question my ability to write anything, which I was once fairly confident in. Alas.
Czixi, the Welkin murmurs, "Fight on, My Effervescent Sylph. I will be with you as you do."
Aian Lerit'r, Lead Schematicist exclaims to you, "A *paperwork* emergency, Chairman!
I really, really, really know how you feel. I went back to a pretty dark place recently over other things that happened to my last character that felt like they were happening again, and I'm sorry in advance to the friends that will hear about it when the inevitable rolls around again.
Let's start a Beauty is Pain support group. Haha.
Czixi, the Welkin murmurs, "Fight on, My Effervescent Sylph. I will be with you as you do."
Aian Lerit'r, Lead Schematicist exclaims to you, "A *paperwork* emergency, Chairman!
Czixi, the Welkin murmurs, "Fight on, My Effervescent Sylph. I will be with you as you do."
Aian Lerit'r, Lead Schematicist exclaims to you, "A *paperwork* emergency, Chairman!
Estarra the Eternal says, "Give Shevat the floor please."
I am like a leaking boat. We fix one thing and another problem sprouts up. Not a fan of this!
Czixi, the Welkin murmurs, "Fight on, My Effervescent Sylph. I will be with you as you do."
Aian Lerit'r, Lead Schematicist exclaims to you, "A *paperwork* emergency, Chairman!
In conclusion, I'm a whiny baby.
No. In conclusion teeth suck.
Over the last few years, business has slowed down, and in the last two years, I've had to take a position that pays about 4$ an hour less, and about 18 less hours a week. Said new position (Position A) requires me to wear a respirator due to dust and sparks. After doing the position for a few weeks, a new position opened, and I was able to transfer into that position (B) for about a week. No dust, no sparks.Then, they "temporary transferred" me back to my old position (A) for the next year or so.
I recently went to take a breathing test (to qualify to be able to use a respirator) and failed it because I've been diagnosed with chronic asthma. Company transferred me back to my position (B) but made it known that my respirator position (A) is actually my job, and I need to see my personal doctor to see if he'll release me to wear a respirator. There's an implied "or else".
They've also added a specific duty to my position (B), which is driving what amounts to a small zamboni to sweep up dust. This is the dustiest, nastiest job in the plant, and has in no way any connection to what I do in my position (b) besides "we need someone to do it and don't want to hire anyone".
Czixi, the Welkin murmurs, "Fight on, My Effervescent Sylph. I will be with you as you do."
Aian Lerit'r, Lead Schematicist exclaims to you, "A *paperwork* emergency, Chairman!
You ever get to that point where you can't even be mad or angry or cry, and all you can really do is laugh? We're almost there.
I got stuck doing something IC that makes me uncomfortable, and it's made me not want to log in or do anything even if I do.
I wrecked my car last Friday, it's completely totalled, and now it looks like I'm going to have a three-week period of no car and trying to figure out a rental, which looks like it's going to cost me about $500 or so out of pocket, before I can get my insurance payout for the old car (RIP my RAV4).
I can't catch an aethertrade. It's been weeks and I am starting to twitch at the idea of even using a button, and tired of seeing the same people I know have all the goop things catching them.
My son is about to be out of school for two weeks, which means my husband's about to be stressing out from 24/7 3-and-5-year-old both home all day every day for a few weeks.
I work in a restaurant, and I'm starting to wonder if the growing trend means I'll be out of work for a few weeks. Even with no late fees and no disconnections of stuff, I'll still have to catch up on those payments somehow on money that barely covers it now.
My mum can't visit from Australia anymore, and we don't know how long she's going to have to postpone. It's been over ten years since I've seen her, and she hasn't met my kids yet.
Things are looking pretty bleak right now.
Czixi, the Welkin murmurs, "Fight on, My Effervescent Sylph. I will be with you as you do."
Aian Lerit'r, Lead Schematicist exclaims to you, "A *paperwork* emergency, Chairman!