Cyndarinused Flamethrower! It was super effective.
edited August 2015
I'm a strict believer of the only person who knows the most effective way to deal with their issues is the person with the issue. As I said, anyone person stating the healthiest way for y person to deal with x issue is speaking with a degree of hubris. I think, after 28 years of being me, I'm the best person to say what is the most satisfying and healthiest way for me to do anything, barring special circsumstances that would require me to seek third party perspectives. That goes for anyone.
If someone is being an assbag, sometimes the healthiest, most productive conversation to be had is telling that person they are being an assbag. "I feel you are being an assbag and it hurts my feelings," realy doesn't hit the nail on the head sometimes.
edit: for the record, I know calling people an assbag is against the rules. I'm not actually encouraging that on the forums, it's just an example.
I was responsible for removing the rants thread many years ago (and other IRE games did as well). The reason is simple, it became extremely toxic, it made some people beyond upset (including admin who were the butt of many of the attacks), it was ridiculous to monitor (it's a rants, admin don't have a right to censor! says certain players with foam speckling their lips), and I was just SICK of it.
That said, we could entertain a 'blow off steam' thread but only with the understanding that it WILL be monitored and rules of decorum would still need to be enforced. And if I begin seeing the community devolve into toxicity (and don't pretend you don't know what I mean) then I'd pull the thread again.
I'm also hesitant to have an entire subsection devoted to ranting. Indeed, can anyone think of a more neutral appellation other than "ranting"?
How about a "Grievances" thread? or a "Grumblings/Rumblings" thread? perhaps a "Bellyachings" thread? rather than ranting?
That said, we could entertain a 'blow off steam' thread but only with the understanding that it WILL be monitored and rules of decorum would still need to be enforced. And if I begin seeing the community devolve into toxicity (and don't pretend you don't know what I mean) then I'd pull the thread again.
As I said before in my post above, I think you need to define what -exactly- you mean by toxicity. You can't say 'don't pretend you don't know what I mean'. How you define toxic will different between people. A, serious, misunderstanding of 'I wouldn't call what I said toxic.' isn't good for anyone.
If someone is being an assbag, sometimes the healthiest, most productive conversation to be had is telling that person they are being an assbag. "I feel you are being an assbag and it hurts my feelings," realy doesn't hit the nail on the head sometimes.
Well, no, that really isn't how it works. Telling someone they are an assbag in as colourful language as you can imagine with as much psychological manipulation that you can muster will just escalate the toxicity, especially if someone has a trollish streak. The more you feed a troll, the stronger it gets, natch. Responding to them is catnip to those who thrive on the attention they get from being spiteful, mean, rude or disruptive.
7
Cyndarinused Flamethrower! It was super effective.
If someone is being an assbag, sometimes the healthiest, most productive conversation to be had is telling that person they are being an assbag. "I feel you are being an assbag and it hurts my feelings," realy doesn't hit the nail on the head sometimes.
Well, no, that really isn't how it works. Telling someone they are an assbag in as colourful language as you can imagine with as much psychological manipulation that you can muster will just escalate the toxicity, especially if someone has a trollish streak. The more you feed a troll, the stronger it gets, natch. Responding to them is catnip to those who thrive on the attention they get from being spiteful, mean, rude or disruptive.
I can certainly see that when you explain it that way, and do agree to an extent. I also know calling people an assbag is against the rules so I'm not actually encouraging anyone to do that.
FYI, it bugs me that not-more-than-a-few posters on this thread somehow just know that venting does not do you any good. Even after multiple others have posted on the contrary.
Great, venting doesn't help you. It helps us. That's how it is!
0
Cyndarinused Flamethrower! It was super effective.
edited August 2015
I vote for "Sass and Shade: Drag Queen GIFs required."
As I said before in my post above, I think you need to define what -exactly- you mean by toxicity. You can't say 'don't pretend you don't know what I mean'. How you define toxic will different between people. A, serious, misunderstanding of 'I wouldn't call what I said toxic.' isn't good for anyone.
Because it can't be exactly defined. If you want, the definition is what the admin subjectively feel is creating a toxic atmosphere. If that's not good enough, then we will forego this experiment.
"You are so much bigger than you think you are," She says, fervently. "You are a beacon of hope that shines through the world with every step you take. You are My beacon, Gabriella, and you shine even into the darkest of nightmares."
--------
The air sparkles with silver motes of light as a silken voice says, "You will see growth and strength where others will see weakness. You will walk with Us as a paragon of Serenwilde's power, for you have already walked this path before."
If someone is being an assbag, sometimes the healthiest, most productive conversation to be had is telling that person they are being an assbag. "I feel you are being an assbag and it hurts my feelings," realy doesn't hit the nail on the head sometimes.
Well, no, that really isn't how it works. Telling someone they are an assbag in as colourful language as you can imagine with as much psychological manipulation that you can muster will just escalate the toxicity, especially if someone has a trollish streak. The more you feed a troll, the stronger it gets, natch. Responding to them is catnip to those who thrive on the attention they get from being spiteful, mean, rude or disruptive.
I can certainly see that when you explain it that way, and do agree to an extent. I also know calling people an assbag is against the rules so I'm not actually encouraging anyone to do that.
The point would hopefully be that the trolls would get fed, but over in the part of the forums specifically intended for that. Hopefully then they would stop rooting about the rest of the forums scavenging, as they are now.
I'm a strict believer of the only person who knows the most effective way to deal with their issues is the person with the issue. As I said, anyone person stating the healthiest way for y person to deal with x issue is speaking with a degree of hubris. I think, after 28 years of being me, I'm the best person to say what is the most satisfying and healthiest way for me to do anything, barring special circsumstances that would require me to seek third party perspectives. That goes for anyone.
I'm a strict believer of the idea that no one is a psychologically unique snowflake, and that something that works well for most people most of the time in most circumstances is a good policy to follow. So we're just going to have to disagree.
"Chairwoman," Princess Setisoki states, holding up a hand in a gesture for her to stop and returning the cup. "That would be quite inappropriate. One of the males will serve me."
1
Cyndarinused Flamethrower! It was super effective.
edited August 2015
I think we disagree on the fact that you can't actually speak for everyone. Your opinion that everyone responds the same to x scenario is matter of factly proven incorrect the moment a person responds differently, as has been observed by multiple people just in this thread. In fact, the simple reality of us disagreeing on this topic really undermines that opinion.
In fact, people are psycholigically unique snowflakes. We literally scientifically know this. Look no further than a person with diagnosed depression that requires medication to alter unusual hormonal activity versus a person without to know that is true.
When considering if I can speak on another person's behalf, I err on the side of caution and...don't speak on another person's behalf.
0
Cyndarinused Flamethrower! It was super effective.
I think we disagree on the fact that you can't actually speak for everyone. Your opinion that everyone responds the same to x scenario is matter of factly proven incorrect the moment a person responds differently, as has been observed by multiple people just in this thread. In fact, the simple reality of us disagreeing on this topic really undermines that opinion.
In fact, people are psycholigically unique snowflakes. We literally scientifically know this. Look no further than a person with diagnosed depression that requires medication to alter unusual hormonal activity versus a person without to know that is true.
When considering if I can speak on another person's behalf, I err on the side of caution and...don't speak on another person's behalf.
Yes, yes we do, because I'm not actually speaking for anyone else. I'm offering advice based on observations of what I've seen work in the past for multiple persons- and also offering a somewhat tongue-in-cheek endorsement of rants with the caveat that I don't believe it has any actual value. The thing is, I did clarify my original statements by saying "This is my belief" and "I think" rather than stating it as an absolute fact that everyone else must adhere to. You, on the other hand, despite claiming that you speak only for yourself, seem loathe to allow anyone else to hold a belief you disagree with.
People with diagnosed depression are not psychological snowflakes- if they were, we would need a different medication for every single person with depression, because brain chemistry would be completely unpredictable. There would be no value to studying the results of psychological medications, or of one therapy over another, because it would literally be impossible to know how one person would react verses another. Psychology itself would not exist if people were unique psychological snowflakes, because science works by being able to study and predict patterns.
This does not mean that I believe I can accurately predict how any ONE person will respond to ANYTHING- and neither can anyone else. All I can say- and all I did say- is that "generally" this is what works. You disagree, and as I have neither the power nor desire to control your opinions or behavior, we can all now continue on with the actual topic.
"Chairwoman," Princess Setisoki states, holding up a hand in a gesture for her to stop and returning the cup. "That would be quite inappropriate. One of the males will serve me."
I feel like having an argument in the middle of a thread specifically about having arguments is so mindblowingly appropriate, I can't help but laugh.
But really, we agree to disagree and I feel like every other response is just an effort to get the last word in. Please no more armchair psychologists.
Anyway, I'm down for a subforum tucked away. Bring it on!
Yeah, subforum seems like the best way to deal with it, but if the admin prefer it be limited to a single thread, it would serve as well. The point mainly being to have a spot to contain the venting.
As for a title, we could always call it "Glass House Demolitions, LLC", since, really...
As an aside to @Estarra and the other admin, thank you for allowing this discussion thread, and for participating in making it a conversation between the player base and the admin in addition to a debate between players.
Everiine said: The reason population is low isn't because there are too many orgs. It's because so many facets of the game are outright broken and protected by those who benefit from it being that way. An overabundance of gimmicks (including game-breaking ones), artifacts that destroy any concept of balance, blatant pay-to-win features, and an obsession with convenience that makes few things actually worthwhile all contribute to the game's sad decline.
I think we disagree on the fact that you can't actually speak for everyone. Your opinion that everyone responds the same to x scenario is matter of factly proven incorrect the moment a person responds differently, as has been observed by multiple people just in this thread. In fact, the simple reality of us disagreeing on this topic really undermines that opinion.
In fact, people are psycholigically unique snowflakes. We literally scientifically know this. Look no further than a person with diagnosed depression that requires medication to alter unusual hormonal activity versus a person without to know that is true.
When considering if I can speak on another person's behalf, I err on the side of caution and...don't speak on another person's behalf.
Yes, yes we do, because I'm not actually speaking for anyone else. I'm offering advice based on observations of what I've seen work in the past for multiple persons- and also offering a somewhat tongue-in-cheek endorsement of rants with the caveat that I don't believe it has any actual value. The thing is, I did clarify my original statements by saying "This is my belief" and "I think" rather than stating it as an absolute fact that everyone else must adhere to. You, on the other hand, despite claiming that you speak only for yourself, seem loathe to allow anyone else to hold a belief you disagree with.
People with diagnosed depression are not psychological snowflakes- if they were, we would need a different medication for every single person with depression, because brain chemistry would be completely unpredictable. There would be no value to studying the results of psychological medications, or of one therapy over another, because it would literally be impossible to know how one person would react verses another. Psychology itself would not exist if people were unique psychological snowflakes, because science works by being able to study and predict patterns.
This does not mean that I believe I can accurately predict how any ONE person will respond to ANYTHING- and neither can anyone else. All I can say- and all I did say- is that "generally" this is what works. You disagree, and as I have neither the power nor desire to control your opinions or behavior, we can all now continue on with the actual topic.
/last word
edit: Since I have received a message on it...this is a drag queen. These are not lady nipples.
I don't think it's likely that we'd find a player moderator willing to monitor a rants thread without being totally sick of it in a few days or wanting to join in themselves.
Probably how the actual admin must be feeling about it.
We can all say we're adults and we're super mature, but it's been proven over and over again that tempers boil over and we say some nasty things to one another without really being sorry for it. First comes vagueposts, then comes passive-aggression, then comes real aggression, then admins step in.
Comments
Incredibly Frank Conversations.
Pointed Talks.
As I said before in my post above, I think you need to define what -exactly- you mean by toxicity. You can't say 'don't pretend you don't know what I mean'. How you define toxic will different between people. A, serious, misunderstanding of 'I wouldn't call what I said toxic.' isn't good for anyone.
Currently Playing in: The doctors office. One more needle and I might just lose it again.
The point would hopefully be that the trolls would get fed, but over in the part of the forums specifically intended for that. Hopefully then they would stop rooting about the rest of the forums scavenging, as they are now.
Currently Playing in: The doctors office. One more needle and I might just lose it again.
Probably how the actual admin must be feeling about it.
We can all say we're adults and we're super mature, but it's been proven over and over again that tempers boil over and we say some nasty things to one another without really being sorry for it. First comes vagueposts, then comes passive-aggression, then comes real aggression, then admins step in.