The Great Lusternian Cookbook



  • edited July 2017
    Flu Chaser Soup
    1-2 large boneless, skinless turkey breasts (you can use beef or pork too if you want)
    1 Parmesan cheese rind
    2 large sticks celery, sliced
    2 large carrots, scrubbed and diced
    2 sweet onions peeled and diced
    2 large tomatoes, diced
    2 handfuls pasta shells
    1 Tblsp Olive Oil
    5 pieces sliced dried Astragalus Root (Huang qi) - they sort of look like popsicle sticks-
    1 bulb garlic (min. 10 cloves), minced 
    1 1 1/2 inch piece of fresh ginger grated 
    2 cups fresh, sliced shiitake mushrooms 
    1 large reishi mushroom 
    Miso* I like South River's Dandelion Leek 
    Salt and pepper to taste
    What to do:
    1. Saute the garlic, onions, and ginger in oil until soft and aromatic over low heat, stirring constantly. (I like my onions deeply caramelized and charred around the edges, and cook them first before adding the ginger and garlic. Otherwise the garlic burns too fast. To get it this way, you have to be patient and stir, stir, stir! If you turn up the heat thinking it will go faster, it's more likely to all out burn. Add more oil if you think the pan/pot is starting to dry out.)
    2. Chop up the turkey into sizeable chunks and put them into a large soup pot (or use the pot with the onions and garlic/ginger ). Add the tomatoes, celery, carrots. Add the piece of parmesan rind (about 3-4 inches long and 1-2 inch wide), the garlic, onions and ginger (skip if already using same pot). Also add the shiitake, Huang qi and reishi, and fill to cover with water. Add a few cracked peppercorns. Bring to a boil and let simmer for a good 2 hours. Skim off the bubbly scum as you go.
    After two hours remove from heat and let it sit for two more hours. Pick out the reishi mushroom and Huang qi. Reheat.
    Taste before adding salt. Add 2 fistfuls of the shells and cook until the pasta is tender.
    Add pepper and cayenne powder if you like. (adjust to your heat level)
    * Add a tablespoon of miso and stir it into each bowl of heated soup.
    Make sure you don't heat the miso up with the soup! This will kill the active, helpful bacteria in the miso.
    3. Garnish with chopped parsley and serve with chunks of fresh bread for dunking.
    If the rind doesn't melt, you can fish it out when you take out the reishi and Huang qi.

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  • edited July 2017
    Talan's Coq au Vin
    Oh fun. We have been posting some recipes on the glomazons clan... here is mine for coq au vin for the crock pot, which I'll just c/p from our news board biggringif
    Coq au Vin
    1/2 lb fatty (cheap) bacon
    2 medium onions
    1/2 lb carrots
    porcini mushrooms (8-12 oz)
    1 tsp thyme
    1 tsp oregano
    3-4 chicken breasts
    3/4 cup chicken broth
    "1 cup" full-bodied red wine (Merlot, Malbec, etc.)
    3 tbsp tomato paste
    salt, pepper, flour
    crockpot (or a large stew pot)
    large frying pan
    rubber scraper
    Roughly chop (big pieces) the onion, carrot, and mushroom, and combine with thyme and oregano.
    Chop up the bacon into smaller bits and cook over medium heat until the bacon is crispy and most of the fat has rendered. Remove the bacon (leave the fat!) and drain on a paper towel quickly then toss in with the veg.
    Trim all the yuck off the chicken breasts, then cut them into large chunks - maybe 3-4 pieces per breast. Dredge in flour/salt/pepper mixture. I do this in a large plastic bag with some air in it and just shake until it's all evenly coated.
    Fry the chicken in the bacon fat (zomg), still at medium heat, about 2-3 minutes per side, so it is just browned. Remove the chicken into the pot with the veg and bacon as it is done.
    If there is a lot of fat left in the pan you can drain some away, though do not actually clean out the pan. Reduce heat to warm. Deglaze the pan with the chicken broth and wine - I tend to use a heavy pour on the wine. Add the tomato paste and stir with rubber scraper so you're incorporating all the flavourful goodness from the pan into the sauce. Can increase heat to medium when it is all incorporated. Bring to a simmer, simmer for 1 minute, then pour over everything else in the pot. Give everything a turn or two. Cover, and cook.
    Cook in crockpot on high - 4 hours, or else cook in the stew pot on warm for probably the same amount of time (though giving it a turn more often so the bottom doesn't burn) or on low in the crockpot for 7 hours or so.

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  • edited July 2017
    Prickly Pear Pie

    Here another one of my favourites since summer's coming up. It came to mind a couple years ago when I was pleasantly surprised to see prickly pear being sold in Italy.

    1 1/3 cups graham cracker or Honey Teddy Grahams crumbs
    1 Tblsp Brown Sugar
    5 Tblsp unsalted sweet cream butter, melted
    4 Eggs
    1 1/2 cups superfine sugar
    3/4 cups fresh Prickly Pear Juice/Nectar or syrup *
    1/2 cup unsalted sweet cream butter, room temperature, diced
    1/2 to 1 tsp grated lime zest
    Top Layer
    4 oz Mascarpone Cheese
    4 oz Cream Cheese room temp.
    1 tsp pure vanilla extract
    2 Tblsp superfine sugar
    1/2 cup to 1 can sweetened condensed milk (to taste)

    What to do:
    For the crust, mix graham crumbs, sugar and butter in a bowl until they come together in a clump. Using your fingers or the bottom of a glass, press the crumbs evenly into the bottom of a deep dish 9in pie pan. It should end up being a 1/4 in. thick all the way around.
    For the filling, bring a pot of water to a boil. Combine the eggs, sugar, zest, juice in a stainless steel bowl. Place the bowl over the pot of boiling water and whisk everything constantly for about 15 min, until the mix doubles in size, gets foamy and opaque, and drips ribbony folds off the end of the whisk. Gradually add the butter and keep whisking until its all melted.
    Pour the batter into the crust and stick it in the fridge for awhile until set. (6 hours) Go do some generator runs or hunt sandojin for the Hand quest or something. When the filling is set, mix the cheeses, vanilla, condensed milk and sugar. Pour this carefully onto the prickly pear filling and refrigerate again until set. Serve garnished with a dollop of whipped cream mixed with mascarpone.

    * To make the juice: Wearing gloves, peel the pricklies and chop them. (You can also get rid of the little spines by picking up the fruit with tongs, passing it over your stove top flame and rubbing it in an old towel) Be very careful because the colour is incredibly red and will stain. Place the chopped pricklies in a food processor and process until liquid. Run the pulp through a strainer and into a large bowl. This should give you 1/2 cup of juice more or less depending on the size of the pricklies. You can also use a juicer for this.

    Or if you're into making margaritas/iced tea/lemonade you can buy the juice/puree from Desert USA

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  • edited July 2017

    Caffery's Chernobyl Fish Sandwich

    (because I've never seen a fish with fingers)


    4 Frozen Fish Fingers
    2 slices of brown bread
    1 slice of plastic cheese
    Butter or buttery spread
    Hp sauce


    Remove fish fingers from box and place in a symmetrical pattern on a microwavable plate.
    Microwave for approximately 2mins.
    Spread butter on bread and arrange fish fingers ontop of one of the slices. Be careful, fish fingers may be piping hot.
    Place slice of cheese over fish fingers, add HP sauce to taste.
    Repeat until utterly satiated.

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  • edited July 2017
    Demonnic's Easiest Damn Alfredo

    1/2 stick butter
    1/2 cup heavy cream
    1 cup grated parmesan (the cylinders in the store are generally 2 cups each)
    Melt butter.
    Add heavy cream
    bring to simmer
    add cheese
    stir constantly while cheese melts
    Salt and pepper to taste.
    if it seems thick, add some of the pasta water to thin it out. Don't worry about measuring it, just start small and eyeball it. You can use regular water, but the pasta water will help the alfredo stick.
    I don't list a set amount of salt or pepper because 1.) these things are almost always to taste and 2.) Parmesan is already slightly salty, so the amount will depend on what it tastes like just before you're done.
    I like to add things to the alfredo, some of my favorites are:
    Smoked tomato and turkey alfredo
    Pancetta and mushroom alfredo
    Shrimp and bacon alfredo
    The list goes on.

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  • Hoaracle's cucumber and tomato appetiser
    I've made this several times for parties (those ones where you have to dress nicely and act all prim and proper). It is incredibly simple and was a recipe I took off of a friend's blog.
    • 1 carton of cherry tomatoes
    • generous pinch of herbs de provence
    • 1 tbsp olive oil
    • salt and peper
    • 1 english cucumber
    • 1 tube of goat cheese
    • 1 bunch of basil
    Toss the tomatoes in olive oil, salt, pepper and herbs de provence and bake in a preheated oven at 325 for about 45 minutes.
    In the meantime, cut the cucumbers into 1/2 inch rounds. Top with a teaspoon of goat cheese, basil and a roasted tomato.
    If you have the time, try piping room temperature goat cheese onto the cucumber rounds for an extra special touch.

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    • Daraius'

      Indian Chicken Pizza

      4 c. all-purpose flour
      2 tsp. salt
      1/4 tsp. cayenne pepper
      1 tsp. garam masala
      1 T. dried basil, oregano, or Italian herb mix
      1 2/3 c. warm water (110 degrees)
      2 1/2 tsp. active dry yeast (one envelope)
      3 T. olive oil

      1. Whisk together flour, salt, cayenne pepper, garam masala, and dried herbs in a large bowl.

      2. In a separate bowl (or large measuring cup) whisk the yeast into the water and then whisk in the oil.

      3. Make a well in the center of the flour mixture, pour in the water and yeast mixture, and slowly begin stirring in the middle of the well. Gradually incorporate more flour into the water as you stir, and when it's all incorporated, scrape down the sides of the bowl and fold the dough over on itself repeatedly until no dry bits remain.

      4. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap or aluminum foil and set it aside in a warm place for about an hour.

      5. Start on the sauce as soon as you set the dough aside.

      6oz. can of tomato paste
      1 c. water
      1/2 c. olive oil
      1 tsp. salt
      1 tsp. powdered cumin
      1 tsp. garam masala
      1 1/2 T. minced fresh ginger
      3-4 cloves minced fresh garlic

      1. Whisk together all ingredients and refrigerate until ready to use. You can stir it every once in a while while it's chilling.

      ~ 1 lb. Thin chicken breast filets (or vegetarian substitute)
      3 T. lemon, orange, or lime juice
      1 tsp. red pepper flakes
      1 tsp. garam masala
      1 tsp. powdered curry
      2 cloves minced garlic
      salt and pepper to taste

      1. Coat chicken filets with citrus juice and toss with other ingredients. Allow to marinate while you preheat the oven (a half hour before the dough finishes rising).

      1 tsp. whole cumin seeds
      1 tsp. whole coriander seeds
      1 lb. Fresh mozzarella
      fresh basil and/or cilantro
      kosher salt to taste

      1. Set oven to 425. Put seeds in an oven-proof ramekin or on a sheet pan or skillet and toast for about 10 minutes. Take them out, let them cool, and then crush them.

      2. Liberally coat the bottom and inner lip of a half sheet pan (18x13 inches) with olive oil and dump your dough in the center. With oiled hands, gently press and stretch the dough until it fills the sheet pan. If it resists and tears, let it rest for about ten minutes before trying again.

      3. Stipple the dough with your fingertips to make little indentations all over, but leave about an inch around the edges untouched. Sprinkle lightly with kosher salt and pepper

      4. Pour sauce onto pizza and spread over the stippled area, leaving the edges clean. Bake for 10 minutes.

      5. Slice fresh mozzarella as thin or thick as you like.

      6. After ten minutes, lay sliced cheese all over the sauce, rotate the pan and continue baking for another ten minutes. Start cooking the chicken.

      7. Heat a skillet over medium high heat with a little oil coating the bottom. Sprinkle in the crushed toasted cumin and coriander and let them sizzle for a few seconds. Place marinated chicken filets over crushed seeds. Cook both sides for about four minutes each. Depending on the thickness of the filet, it may take more or less time, but you want the chicken almost fully cooked. This should take about ten minutes altogether.

      8. Slice chicken and place all over the pizza, then bake for another ten minutes.

      9. Sprinkle fresh basil and/or cilantro over the pizza after it's finished baking.

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    • Kayte's Salmon with Beurre Blanc

      My favourite is rather traditional: Seared salmon with beurre blanc. I constantly crave this recipe.
      Salmon is rather simple. Hot pan, a little oil, don't cook for more than 5 minutes (depending on thickness, of course).

      Beurre blanc:
      1/4 cup white wine vinegar 
      1/4 cup fresh lemon juice 
      1 tablespoon minced shallots 
      1/4 teaspoon salt 
      1/8 teaspoon freshly ground pepper 
      12 ounces (1 1/4 cups) butter, chilled and cut into pieces 
      A squeeze of fresh lemon juice

      In a heavy saucepan, boil first 5 ingredients until mixture is reduced to about 1 1/2 tablespoons. Remove from heat.

      Immediately beat in half the butter, until it forms a creamy paste. 

      Set saucepan over low heat and continue beating in a piece of butter at a time just as the previous piece is almost fully incorporated. The sauce should have the consistency of a light hollandaise. 

      Remove from heat, season to taste with salt, pepper and a squeeze of lemon. 

      Makes about 1 1/4 cups.

      Some people drain the beurre blanc to remove the shallots. I don't. It's a personal choice; I find with the shallots in it tastes better, but it's less visually appealing. You can use unsalted butter too (which is what I did), but I would still add some salt.

      Excellent with asparagus.

      Also - hollandaise is delicious too. <3 Mmmm... I'm excited to try some of these recipes.

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    • edited July 2017
      Spicy Peanut Drumsticks
      6-8 chicken drumsticks, skin on
      3 Tblsp crunchy peanut butter
      1/2-1 Tblsp tahini (optional)
      4 Tblsp apple cider vinegar
      2 Tblsp soy sauce
      1 Tblsp chile pepper oil *
      1 Tblsp toasted sesame seed oil
      2 Tblsp vegetable or sunflower oil
      1 Tblsp minced garlic
      1 Tblsp minced ginger
      1 Tblsp minced shallots
      1 1/2 cup chicken broth
      1 Tblsp white wine
      1 tsp brown sugar
      1/2 tsp salt
      1/2 tsp cayenne/chipotle pepper
      1 tsp spicy dijon mustard
      1/2 Tblsp honey
      What to do:
      Mix all marinade ingredients together in a large ziploc bag. With a sharp knife, cut three or so slits into either side of each piece of chicken down to the bone: ///. Put the drumsticks into the bag, sealing it with as little air as possible and massage the marinade into them being careful not to tear the skin. Let sit in the fridge overnight. The next day, preheat your oven to 400 degrees F. Put the chicken on a baking sheet and let cook for 3-5 min. After, turn the heat down to 350 and cook for 20-25 min, then flip and cook another 10 min. When clear juices start to run when you poke at the drumsticks with a fork, you can transfer them to the broiler. Broil both sides for 5 min each. Serve with buttered white rice and chopped chives.
      For Oil:
      2 cups vegetable oil
      2 cups chile powder
      2 dried chiles, sliced
      1/2 leek
      1 small knob of ginger, sliced 
      2 garlic cloves
      1/2 onion
      -Heat vegetable oil until just warm
      -Add all ingredients
      -Simmer on low heat for about 10 min
      -Remove from heat just before the color turns dark.
      -Strain oil
      -Pour into a glass bottle and keep in a cool shady place.

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    • Kayte's Hello Dollies!


      2 cups graham cracker crumbs
      1/4 cup white sugar
      1/2 cup butter, melted
      1 cup semisweet chocolate chips
      1 cup flaked coconut
      1 cup chopped pecans
      1 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk

      Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C).
      Combine the graham cracker crumbs, sugar and melted butter. Press into the bottom of an 9x9 inch baking pan. Layer the chocolate chips, coconut and pecans over the crumbs. Pour the sweetened condensed milk over the top.
      Bake at 325 degrees F (165 degrees C) for 25 to 30 minutes. Let cool and cut into squares.

      Very good. I would have put more coconut and graham in them when I make them though. I didn't like it with too much chocolate.

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    • Stangmar's Tacoast

      For those of you living on a budget and looking to add spice to your breakfast....


      1 slice bread
      taco seasoning

      Toast bread, spread butter, sprinkle with taco seasoning and enjoy!

      I discovered this while in the philippines. Ground beef was hard to come buy(very expensive), and i missed Tacos. I was also sick of the boring toast for breakfast, so the ingenious redneck inside of me came up with Tacoast!

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    • Kolibri's Taco Soup!

      This is super easy bachelor chow that everyone loves! Enjoy!

      1 lb ground beef
      1 can sweet whole kernel corn
      1 can black beans
      1 can dark red kidney beans
      2 cans Rotel (of any spicyness - up to you)
      2 packets of taco seasoning
      1 bag Tostitos
      Sour Cream
      Shredded Cheddar

      Step one - Brown the beef in a skillet, drain off the grease.
      Step two - Open the black beans and drain them, then add them to the soup.
      Step three - Open all the other cans and add them without draining. 
      Step four - Add both packets of taco seasoning.
      Step five - Stir thoroughly, and bring to a boil.
      Step six - Once it's boiling, reduce the heat and cover, letting it simmer for 15 mins at least, or as long as you want.

      Serve with Tostitos, Sour Cream, and Shredded Cheddar!

      This is really good as leftovers - so if you wanna make it the day before and stick it in the fridge, it is also amazingly awesome.

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    • edited July 2017
      Nutella Milkshakes
      For Syrup:
      1/2-1 cup Nutella* 
      1/2 cup warm Lyle's Golden Syrup
      2 Tblsp Milo or other brand malted milk powder
      2 Tblsp unsalted sweet cream butter
      1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract
      For Shakes:
      1 pint chocolate ice cream or 1/2 pint chocolate + 1/2 pint coffee/espresso ice cream
      2/3 cup whole milk
      5 Tblsp syrup (above)
      What to do:
      In a small sauce pan, combine all ingredients for syrup and melt this mixture over low heat until very smooth. Stir constantly and don't let it scorch! Once all nice and melty, set aside to cool somewhat. Once cool, place all ingredients for the shakes in a blender and blend to desired consistency. Pour shakes into tall, chilled glasses and garnish with whipped cream, strawberry, drizzled syrup and grated toasted hazelnut. Maybe a Tim Tam or two or twelve on the side if you're feeling really indulgent. Serves 2. You can store the extra syrup in a Mason jar in the fridge for later use.
      *More or less to taste depending on how much you love Nutella.

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    • Tervic's Eggplant in Garlic Sauce

      Eggplant in garlic sauce (scales really well, too)

      Some amount of soy sauce
      Equal amount of water
      Copious quantities of fresh black pepper
      Garlic (minced)
      Ginger (ground or fresh minced)
      cider vinegar or dry white wine
      Some or all of the following, depending on preference: Cumin, coriander, cloves, cinnamon, anise, cardamom, cayenne pepper, and probably a few other things I'm forgetting
      approx. 3/4 Tb corn starch per cup of sauce, maybe a little more depending on how things go
      Blend all the above in a bowl and set aside.

      1 cup rice
      2 cups water
      1 bay leaf (optional)

      BS method: Put all ingredients in a microwave safe vessel with 2 tsp cooking oil and nuke for 15 minutes (be careful as it -will- foam up a bit), then remove from microwave and let stand (covered) for another 10-15 minutes.
      Stove method: Put all ingredients in a pot, bring to a boil, turn off heat, let sit covered while you do everything else.

      Rice cooker: Follow the directions on the device itself.

      Sautee items:
      Mushrooms (optional)
      Jalepeno or Padron peppers (also optional)

      Murder the onion, slice the mushrooms in thin slices, and dice the eggplant into 1" cubes. Finely chop the peppers if you're planning on using them. Sautee onions and mushrooms together over high heat with some black pepper just until the onions turn translucent. Add eggplant and quite a bit more oil (or butter, if you're feeling indulgent). Brown the eggplant. Dump the sauce over the whole thing and stir it up well. When the sauce starts to bubble, turn the heat waaayyy down to low, add the jalepenos if you're using them, and let the whole thing simmer until you deem the rice to be of acceptable done-ness. Garnish with Padron peppers. You can also add other veggies to this dish, such as bell peppers or asparagus.

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    • Tervic's Balsamic Ribs

      Ok this dish isn't vegetarian at all, but it's super-tasty so I'm going to share it anyways.

      Sticky Balsamic Glazed Ribs

      1 rack pork ribs
      Kosher/sea salt (the big grains kind)
      black pepper

      Braise liquid:
      Balsamic vinegar (1 cup)
      honey (1 Tb)
      thyme (sprinkle some in till it smells right)
      rosemary (ditto for this)
      bay leaves (2-3)
      Water as needed

      Rub the ribs with salt and pepper, let stand 10 minutes refrigerated or while you wait for the oven to heat up to 350F. Fill a large pan with the braising liquid. Place ribs in pan and add water until they're about 3/4 covered. Braise uncovered 1hr. Turn the ribs over and go play a couple games of League of Legends. Remove from oven, set ribs aside, and pour braise liquid into a shallow stovetop pan thing. Add a few tablespoons more balsamic vinegar and a dash more rosemary. Reduce it down until it turns into barbeque sauce. Baste the ribs with this sauce, then broil in the oven, 6 minutes on a side or until the glaze gets crackly and good-smelling. You'll know you're doing it right if you can pull a bone out of the roast and said bone is completely dry/devoid of clinging meat. Serve with BS Rice from above, and many many napkins. You'll need them.

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    • edited July 2017


      1/2 cup dry lentils
      1/2 cup dry garbanzo beans/chickpeas
      2 tsp coriander seed
      2 Tblsp fresh parsley, chopped
      1/4 cup red onion, minced
      1/4 cup canned water chestnuts, drained and minced (optional)
      1/4 tsp chilli powder
      2 Tblsp cornmeal plus a little extra
      Olive oil
      1 egg
      Salt and pepper to taste

      What to do:

      Soak beans and lentils overnight in fresh water and rinse

      Put them in a pot of more fresh water and cover, bringing the water to boil for three min, then reducing and simmering for 60-90 min until tender.

      Strain and mash the beans and lentils with the rest of the ingredients to form a pasty dough.

      Form this dough into balls or patties and coat with extra cornmeal.

      heat 1/4th in of the oil in a pan and fry the patties/balls until they get a nice golden brown crust.

      Drain on paper towels.

      Extra: Yogurt Sauce

      3 cups shredded cabbage
      2 Tblsp fresh dill, chopped roughly
      2 Tblsp fresh parsley
      3 garlic cloves minced
      1 1/4 cup plain full fat yogurt
      Juice from one lime
      Salt and pepper to taste

      What to do:

      Combine all ingredients together and cover and let sit in the fridge for at least and hour or two before serving

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    • Akeley's Redwall Recipes Contribution

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    • Tervic's Roasted Tomatoes

      Because it's tomato season, I'm gonna post up roasted tomato... something. I put it on pasta, but sometimes just eat them straight.

      Sliced tomatoes, drained.
      Sea salt
      Olive oil

      Toss everything together, lay out on a baking sheet (it needs sides because tomatoes leak), and broil until the tops turn crispy. Re-toss everything and turn the heat down to 250F. Let sit for times varying from 20 minutes for a pasta adornment to 2 hours for 'sundried tomatoes' to 3+ for tomato crisps.

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    • Tervic's Mac n' Cheese

      Someone said something about macaroni "not cutting it". That's because you're probably using some reprocessed petroleum that dares call itself food. Here's how to make your own mac 'n' cheese from scratch (looks intimidating, but it's really not. It's totally possible to make everything in under an hour).


      Cheeses: Cheddar, fresh grated Parmesan (not the crap in a can), Romano, and/or pepperjack. Use as many or as few of these as you want, or try experimenting with other cheese types.


      Adornments, including: tuna, peas, corn, bamboo shoots, mushrooms, hot sauce, cayenne pepper, coriander, cumin, chives, tarragon, garlic.... pretty much anything with an Italian/Mediterranean bent. Again, feel free to use as many or as few as you want, prepped however you want. These really just get folded in at the end, so if you have some sauteed mushrooms staring at you accusingly from a bowl in your fridge, toss 'em in. Ditto for old corn on the cob. Shave off the kernels and toss 'em in. This is a real fridge-cleaner dish.

      Boil water, make pasta. While that's doing it's thing....

      Preparing the Sauce:
      Melt 1/2c butter in a small sauce pan, but don't let it get too hot. If you ever let it boil, Kethuru will devour your soul. Start adding flour 1 Tb at a time, whisking until smooth before adding more flour. Let it simmer -very- gently over low heat until the flour mixture starts to tint brown a little bit. Turn off the heat. Yes, off. All the way. Whisk in the cheeses. The slower you go and the gentler you are, the smoother the sauce will be. Bring the sauce up to low heat if necessary. Now you have some choices. You can add some heavy cream for a super-decadent sauce, or water if you're feeling low-calorie (but why you would ever do this is completely beyond me). You can add some of the spice-based adornments to let their flavours simmer in. I often add Tapatio hot sauce and some tarragon, with a dash of ground coriander.

      By now, the macaroni should be done. Drain the pasta and give it a quick rinse in cold water. This is to stop the cooking process so that the pasta doesn't suck up all the delicious cheese sauce you've just prepared. The sauce ought to still be hot, so it'll warm the dish right back up. Dump the sauce over the pasta, fold in the adornments and serve. If you're feeling fancy, dump everything into a baking dish, cover with a thick layer of cheese and breadcrumbs, then bake until the top is a little crispy.

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    • (Not) Penelope's 2AM Chilli

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    • Tervic's Bastardized Goan Chicken 

      (also known as Some Kind Of Indian Food Modified to be Coeliac-Safe and Thus Tastes Kinda Thai)

      Go buy these:
      1 bunch cilantro/coriander leaf (they're the same bloody thing)
      1 bunch fresh mint
      1 jalapeno pepper (you can actually use pretty much any kind of chili pepper and it'll still taste great! I've used anaheims, serranos, and habaneros. I don't know if chipotle chilis would still taste good, but it would certainly be interesting)
      1 onion
      1 can coconut milk
      4-5 cloves garlic
      Ginger root (fresh. anything else will not taste right)
      ground coriander seed
      Black pepper
      Sea Salt

      Wash and de-stem the cilantro and mint. Mince the jalapeno, garlic, and ginger. Put in a giant bag/bowl along with a couple tablespoons of oil, sea salt, pepper, and the chicken. Toss it all up and let marinate for a couple hours (actual time may vary. Sometimes I'm lazy and skip the waiting). In the mean time, chop the onion and sautee until translucent, then set aside. Scrape the marinade off the chicken, but SAVE IT! It will turn into delicious sauce in a moment. Turn the potatoes into roughly 1" cubes

      Brown the chicken in the pan you already have out from the onions, then deglaze* the delicious brown bits with a couple tablespoons of rum. Pour off the fat if you wish. Put the chicken back in the pan along with the onions, potatoes, ground coriander seed, and all of the marinade stuff. Pour a can of coconut milk over everything and mix it up well. Cover and let simmer for half an hour.

      Serve over Jasmine rice. Impress Significant Other.

      Total prep time: about 30 minutes, plus 30 minutes simmer time.

      *Deglazing procedure: Turn off heat. Add rum. Stir everything around really well. Light on fire. The liquid rum will pull up all the browned bits from the bottom of the pan and deposit them on the chicken. Then all the alcohol will burn off, minimizing the total amount of liquid remaining.

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    • Tervic's Nommy Tofu Bits
      Fresh tofu, firm/extra firm (prepackaged stuff just doesn't cut it for me, but I'm a snob)
      Jalapeno pepper
      sea salt
      corn starch or flour
      black pepper
      peanut oil (canola works too)
      sesame oil
      Toss the tofu with jalapeno, sea salt, corn starch/flour, black pepper, and a little bit of canola oil. Stir fry over high heat until the outside turns brown and crispy. Get it out of the pan ASAP and toss with a dash of sesame oil (optional).
      Total prep time: about 15 minutes.
      Gravlax (Or: What to do when your uncle from Alaska has a surplus)
      Salmon filet, bones removed
      Black pepper
      Fresh dill sprigs (not powdered or dried or anything. It really does absolutely have to be fresh sprigs of dill)
      Plastic wrap
      Blend together salt and sugar in a 1:1 ratio, then add black pepper to taste. There should be enough of this mixture to completely cover the salmon in kind of a powdery crust, so do that. Then wrap the salted/sugared salmon up in the dill sprigs so that everything is completely concealed beneath a canopy of green. Wrap -this- assembly up in plastic wrap as tight as you can. Place in some kind of a dish and refrigerate for at least 48 hours, no more than 4 days.
      Serve on crackers with your favorite soft cheese (e.g. brie, Brilliat Savarin, Cowgirl Creamery's Mt. Tam or St. Pat, which is only available in the Spring).
      Total prep time: about 5 minutes.
      WARNING: it will leak. This is a result of the salt and sugar drawing out the moisture from the salmon, thus "curing" it. Also, even though it's technically raw fish, I've never gotten sick from this recipe because the harsh saline conditions lyse bacteria and are very inhospitable to parasites.

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    • Kalaneya's Mediterranean Eggplant and Barley Salad 
      (adapted from
      The Barley:
      1 1/4 cups barley (8 oz)
      1 (14-oz) can broth
      3/4 cup water
      1 1/2 tsp ground cumin
      1/2 tsp ground coriander
      1/4 tsp cayenne
      2 tsp olive oil
      The Roasted Vegetables:
      1 1/2 lb eggplant, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
      3/4 lb zucchini, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
      5 tablespoons olive oil

      Other stuff:
      1 cup chopped scallion (from 1 bunch)
      1/2 lb-ish cherry tomatoes, quartered
      1/3ish cup sliced olives
      1/2 large red onion, rinsed and drained if desired
      Parsley to taste
      Fresh mint to taste

      3 tbsp olive oil
      2 tbsp fresh lemon juice
      1 garlic clove, minced
      1/4 tsp sugar
      1/4 tsp salt
      1/4 tsp pepper

      Roast eggplant and zucchini: Put oven racks in upper and lower thirds of oven and preheat oven to 425F.

      Toss eggplant and zucchini with 5 tablespoons oil, salt and pepper to taste, in a bowl, then spread in 2 oiled large shallow (1-inch-deep) baking pans. Roast vegetables in oven, stirring occasionally and switching position of pans halfway through baking, until vegetables are golden brown and tender, 20 to 25 minutes total. Combine vegetables in 1 pan and cool, reserving other pan for cooling barley.

      Cook barley: Heat 2 tablespoons oil in a 3- to 4-quart heavy pot over moderately high heat until hot but not smoking, then cook scallion, cumin, coriander, and cayenne, stirring, until fragrant, about 1 minute. Add barley and cook, stirring until well coated with oil, 2 minutes more. Add broth and water and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer, covered, until all of liquid is absorbed and barley is tender, 30 to 40 minutes. Remove from heat and let stand, covered, 5 minutes. Transfer to reserved shallow baking pan and spread to quickly cool, uncovered, to room temperature, about 20 minutes.

      Make dressing and assemble salad: Whisk together lemon juice, garlic, sugar, salt, pepper, and oil in a large bowl. Add barley, roasted vegetables, and remaining ingredients to bowl with dressing and toss until combined well.

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    • Kialkarkea's Butter Chicken


      Black pepper
      Garam Masala (recipe for blending your own below. Don't pay a 10x markup for pre-blended, that's just silly)
      whipping cream
      tomato paste
      bay leaves

      Murder the onions and slice the mushrooms. Melt a couple Tablespoons butter in a large pan, add some garam masala to flavour it, then fry the onions and mushrooms over high heat. Add a little more garam masala about halfway through. Set that stuff aside.

      In the same pan, brown the chicken, again with a tablespoon or so of butter and some garam masala. Turn the heat down to low, add the veggies back in and fold together with tomato paste. Add some bay leaves (I also add bay leaves to the rice that I'm preparing, because bay leaf rice is amazingly delicious). Pour cream over this whole assembly until it turns a light orangy colour. Add more black pepper, more garam masala, and a little more salt if the gods have deemed it necessary. Let simmer at least 20 minutes, though it's nigh impossible to overcook at this point.

      Serve with jasmine rice and Lazy Naan (which I shall post at a later time).
      Actual hands on time: 30 minutes (45 if you're slow at murdering vegetables).

      Garam Masala
      This is really just a blend of surprisingly common (to me) spices.
      • 1 tablespoon ground coriander
      • 1 1/2 teaspoons ground cumin
      • 1 1/2 teaspoons ground cardamom
      • 1 1/2 teaspoons ground pepper
      • 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
      • 1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
      • 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
      • 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper (though you can get away with less if you dislike heat)

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    • edited July 2017
      Coconut Spice Naan
      2 - 2 1/2 cups flour
      3/4 tsp baking soda
      3/4 tsp baking powder
      1/2 cup full fat plain yogurt
      1/2 cup full fat milk (warm 100F)
      1/2 tsp cooking oil of your choice
      1 Tblsp coconut/palm sugar
      1/2 tsp sea salt
      Chopped green onions/chives to taste
      Ghee for brushing (clarified melted butter)
      **Can replace baking soda/powder part with 1/2 tsp dry active rapid yeast, if you want it yeast based. Just activate the yeast in the milk before adding it to the mix**
      Spice Topping
      1/4 cup coconut/palm sugar
      1-2 Tblsp camelina seed (Expensive :/ I got mine as a little spice pack from a little store in Solvang a year or so ago)
      1 tsp indian long pepper/pippali (crushed)
      1/4-1/2 tsp crushed coriander seed
      What to do:
      Sift together the flour, baking powder, baking soda into a large bowl, stir in the sugar and salt and mix well. Poke a well/crater in the centre in the mix and pour in the yogurt, oil and half the milk. Add onions. Mix everything together until it forms a ball. Add milk little by little until the dough is soft and smooth, but not too soft. (Should be able to hold up to poking/dimples). Continue to knead the dough for about 7 min. until almost bubbly/burpy. Cover and keep in a warm spot to rise and ferment undisturbed for 2 hours. Should be slightly tacky to the touch afterwards.
      Heat your pan/heavy skillet until really hot over medium high/high heat.
      Split the dough into 6 large balls or 12 smaller balls and roll out to desired thickness and shape (may take some more flour dusting). Sprinkle the spice mix evenly over the tops of each naan, pressing them in securely with the back of a spoon. Brush the unspiced sides with a little water and slap wet side down onto the hot, dry pan. At this point, the naan will be bubbling and puffing up with steam. (If they don't seem to be bubbling up, try placing the lid on the pan for a few seconds) Watch them carefully for browning/charring and flip to cook/toast the spiced side for a few seconds. (Be quick!!) And flip again. When you get into the swing of things, you'll have the two/three flips down pat without burning the spices. Brush with ghee and serve immediately.
      Variation: Can also be stuffed with paneer. Or served with a side of melted Kasseri (soft kind).

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    • Arsalil's Tortellini
      Easiest recipe ever! Only uses one skillet and everything is pretty cheap. Great, on-a-budget, filling meal.
      My Easy Tortellini Skillet
      What you need:
      -1lb ground beef or italian sausage or a package of chorizo (or whatever else kind of meat you want to use depending on what you
      feel like. All 3 versions listed have turned out delicious.)
      -2 26oz cans of Hunts Spaghetti Sauce (any flavour)
      -1 lb bag of frozen tortellini (I usually do cheese ones)
      -1 small package of shredded cheese (I usually get the italian blend)
      What to do:
      Brown the meat and drain any excess grease. Add in the cans of spaghetti sauce and heat on medium until it starts to simmer. Stir occasionally so that it doesn't burn on the bottom. Add in the frozen tortellini, making sure it is completely covered in sauce. Reduce to medium low heat and cover, letting it simmer for about 15 mins, until the tortellini is cooked. Again, you'll want to stir this occasionally. Once the pasta is cooked, turn off, spoon into bowls, and top with cheese.
      Please note: You need a pretty big skillet for all of the sauce to be able to fit in it. You may only need about 1 1/2 cans of sauce.

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    • Tervic's Tortilla Stuffs
      Shredded cheese
      Sour cream
      Tapatio hot sauce
      cooking oil

      Saute mushrooms and onion in a couple Tbsp oil, season with salt + pepper to taste. Set aside.
      In the same pan, add a little more oil, throw down the tortilla.
      Garnish with a nice, thick layer of cheese and spatter with Tapatio hot sauce.
      Set heat to medium (on my stove, 6/10)
      Go do something else for a few minutes.

      When the cheese is all nice and melty, spoon on the sauteed mushrooms and onions, lay down slices of avocado, and slather on some sour cream. 

      If you're feeling fancy, garnish with any other spices you deem relevant. I personally favor a dash of garam masala, but that might be because I just have a jar of it sitting next to the stove.
      Turn off the heat and let it 'rest' for a minute or two, then slide off onto a plate.
      Use food on face.

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    • edited July 2017

      Tibetan/Chinese New Year Dumplings


      1 package round dumpling/shiu mai wrappers or your own dough (below)
      6 medium maui/sweet onions (diced)
      1/2 lb potatoes
      1/2 lb taro roots
      4 1/2 cup Grana Padano cheese (grated) * (Supposed to be yak cheese, but the Padano works well as a substitute)
      2 cup brown crimini mushrooms (sliced)
      2 cup shiitake mushrooms (sliced)
      1 fresh bunch of cilantro (chopped)
      2-3 inch stalk/segment young fresh lemongrass (the bulb end/heart, outer-layer peeled and chopped)
      2 Tblsp garlic (minced)
      3 Tblsp oil
      1 Tblsp fresh ginger (minced)
      1 tsp light brown sugar
      1 tsp soy sauce
      1/2 tsp kosher salt
      1 tsp white pepper
      1 tiny drop sesame oil

      What to do:

      Peel, boil and mash the taro* and potatoes finely (*boil then peel taro first, and boil well it's a bit toxic if you don't) preferrably through a foodmill or ricer, set aside to cool. Heat the oil in a large pan/wok and cook onions for 5 min. until clear. Add chopped mushrooms, cover and cook for another 5 min. until tender. Add garlic, ginger and lemongrass and cook until fragant, being careful not to burn. Remove the veggie mixture from heat, gently stir in soy sauce, sugar and sesame oil. Let cool. When the veggie mix has cooled, mix in the cilantro, cheese and remaining spices and gently fold into the mashed taro-potatoes until well combined.

      To make the dumplings, place about a 1/2-1 Tblsp (or more depending on how big your wrappers are and how much filing you like) of the filling in the centre of each round of dumpling wrappers and gather the edges up, crimping around until it looks like a small parcel, or you can make the crescent moon variation and fold the wrappers in half like a taco, crimping the edges shut.

      Spacing the dumplings nicely apart, steam them in a cooking parchment lined steamer tray/basket for about 5-7 minutes or until done and the wrappers are glossy and slightly transparent.

      Sauce: Can be enjoyed with ponzu or tamari sauce, the meat momo goes very well with Patak's spicy lime relish which you can find in the Asian store/ international section of Albertsons and Stater Bros.

      For traditional meat dumplings, substitute the taro-potato-cheese mix with ground pork, chicken, beef, yak, lamb or abalone and mix the cooled, sauteed veggies with the fresh ground meat before folding into dumplings.

      You can also make puffs by omitting the dough wrapper and sealing in the veggie or meat mixture in the centre of a small ball of the mashed taro-potatoes and rolling this in some cornstarch then deep frying until the outside is a crisp golden lattice.



      1 1/2 cup flour
      2/3 cup water (more as needed)
      Flour to dust
      Pinch kosher salt
      1 tsp oil

      Mix all dry ingredients, slowly adding water to form the dough with your hand. Knead for 10 min until pliable and smooth. Let rest for 5 min. Divide dough equally into small balls, rolling out thinly into disks. You can also just roll it out and use a round cookie cutter if you like.

      A helpful video I found on how to fold:

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    • Chade's Jerked Turkey

      One of my favourite recipes - easy to make and so tasty. Lime and Chilli plus Jamaican Jerk = Win. Also very healthy.

      Serves Two:
      • 2 turkey breast fillets
      • 10ml/2tsp jerk seasoning
      • 45ml/3tbsp olive oil
      • 225g sweet potatoes, peeled and cubed
      • 1 deseeded red pepper, diced
      • 1 red onion, sliced
      • 50g brown rice
      • 1 (400g) can black-eyed peas, drained
      • Zest and juice of 1 lime
      • 1 red chilli, deseeded and chopped
      • Pinch of sugar
      • 2 little gem lettuces, shredded
      • Salt and black pepper

      Place the turkey in a shallow bowl with the jerk seasoning and 1 tbsp oil and leave to marinate for at least 10 mins.

      2 Preheat the oven to 200 C/Gas Mark 6. In a roasting tin, mix the potatoes, pepper and onion with 1 tbsp oil, add the turkey and bake for 25 mins or until cooked through.

      3 Meanwhile, cook the rice in boiling salted water for 20-25 mins. Stir in the beans. 

      4 Mix the lime, chilli, sugar, salt and pepper. 

      5 Slice the meat. Mix the vegetables into the rice with half the lettuce. Divide the remaining lettuce between two plates and heap the rice mixture on top. Top with the turkey and spoon over the dressing. 

      Since the weather here is warmish, here's another awesome spring/summer recipe:
      • 2 sweet potatoes, peeled, cut into pieces
      • olive oil
      • Salt and freshly ground black pepper
      • 2 thick slices of bacon
      • 1 red bell pepper, cored and chopped
      • 1 small red onion, halved and thinly sliced
      • 1 tablespoon fresh ginger, peeled and minced
      • 1 teaspoon ground cumin
      • Juice from 1 orange
      • 200g fresh spinach

      Preheat the oven to 200 degrees (400F). Put potatoes on a baking sheet, drizzle with two tablespoons of the oil, sprinkle with salt and pepper; toss to coat. Roast, turning occasionally, until crisp and brown outside and tender inside, about 30 minutes. Remove and keep on the pan until ready to use. Fry bacon until crisp and brittle. Drain on paper towels and pour off fat, leaving darkened bits in the pan. Put back on medium heat; add remaining oil to the pan. When hot, add bell pepper, onion, and ginger to the pan. Cook, stirring once or twice until just softened, about five minutes; stir in cumin and bacon (broken into pieces). Stir in orange juice and turn off heat. (The recipe can be made up to an hour or so ahead to this point. Gently warm dressing again before proceeding.) Put spinach in a bowl large enough to comfortably toss the salad. Add the potatoes and warm dressing. Toss to combine.

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