General Dissatisfaction

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  • Enyalida said:
    You're tits! Like, in a good way.
    Is there a bad way?
    Stangmar - Retired



  • EnyalidaEnyalida Nasty Woman, Sockpuppeteer to the Gods
    My dog has again mysteriously hurt her paw on  something sharp and unknown in the woods. I didn't think it was bad enough to necessitate a vet visit, but on re-examining her paw, I made an appointment to go see the doc. 
  • ShaddusShaddus , the Leper Messiah Outside your window.
    I'm slowly but surely watching the best job I've ever had fall into disarray and implode because the people who work in the office are too worried about quotas, and only worried about quality when a customer sends a pipe back.

    Meanwhile, one of the secretaries has taken it upon herself to go out of her way to harass me about my horrible handwriting every chance she gets. Lady, I'm a little too worried about working my ass off and keeping us in a job to spend time trying to make sure my S is unmistakably not a 5, or that I missed a period in a list of alphanumeric characters.
    Everiine said: The reason population is low isn't because there are too many orgs. It's because so many facets of the game are outright broken and protected by those who benefit from it being that way. An overabundance of gimmicks (including game-breaking ones), artifacts that destroy any concept of balance, blatant pay-to-win features, and an obsession with convenience that makes few things actually worthwhile all contribute to the game's sad decline.
  • LuceLuce Fox Populi
    Man, I'm certain I'm the death of threads. There've been multiple threads that have been closed while I was drafting up posts for them. =(
  • PhoebusPhoebus tu fui, ego eris. Circumstances
    Ugh, our internet is going through a bad spot again, it seems. Everything is slow and laggy. Having almost a full second delay on every command I send really starts to wear on my patience after a while.
  • My enter key has been making disturbing noises since getting back into Lusternia :/
  • DaraiusDaraius Shevat The juror's taco spot
    There's the "Mark All Viewed" button, if it helps.
    I used to make cakes.

    Estarra the Eternal says, "Give Shevat the floor please."
  • Being sick, missing two classes, then realizing that everything's due this week because of those magical 'things' coming up (in other words, exams on the 17th).
  • About two weeks ago my dog was attacked by a raccoon, and I was fortunately able to grab the demonspawn and haul it away... but not before it got its vile, pestilent teeth all up in my thumb. The dog got away without a scratch since I acted so quickly; I had to go to the hospital where I spent about five hours sitting alone with open wounds because the hospital didn't have the rabies vaccine on hand, and couldn't stitch me up for some reason until after they got it and gave me about ten shots, five in the wound itself. I spent several days addled on painkillers, then despite all of my wound care and antibiotics managed to catch some sort of infection. And just as soon as that finally seemed to clear, I caught some kind of virus which laid me out for several days. And all of this has been wreaking havoc on my anti-depressants and anxiety meds.

    So first, apologies to anyone I've had to RP with for the last two weeks, or that I usually talk to but haven't been, or... anyone that expected anything out of me. I've been a right mess. Second... it's kinda killed my interest in Lusternia. Even now, coming out of all the sickness, it's hard to get excited or find the fun again. Usually this means either I'm going to make a drastic change of some sort, or I'm quitting forever, but right now I don't really want to do either. So I guess... bare with me while I get my mojo back.

    But the dog is okay!
    The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog!
  • There's no rush! Just take care of yourself.
    Damn raccoons, they're so cute yet so vicious.
  • 7cupsfotea.com is not a place to go if you have issues. it's a place to indulge in guilt free complaining about everyday stress and have a human listen to it. that is all. the training it advertises is just reading through and watching some videos. THEN you answer some easy questions and TADA! TRAINED LISTENER released to the general population. total training time = under one hour.

    this does not prepare you in any shape or form for handling difficult conversations for which you have no experience to draw on. trick is to pass the buck.

    ;/ false advertising or rather youmustreadthefineprint. 
    is dead like the dodo
  • Live seems to be whirring around me and I can't keep up. I'm going to let my feelings out here because I feel like I don't have another outlet, so I'm really sorry if I'm supposed to take this elsewhere. I don't know what else to do.

    I'm going to be honest. Life is starting to feel like it's too much for me. I'm either working, on Lusternia, or drawing, and I feel like I've hit a physical and emotional wall with all of this. I feel like Lusternia is the only place I have friends nowadays since everyone from high school is now far away and with their own lives, and that I have no life of my own anymore. I've become an indoor recluse who only ventures outside for necessities and chores, and the constant day in and out of this has worn my enjoyment thin and my depression heavy. I'm in a rut that I see no hope of getting out of, and that makes me feel utterly horrible. Is this what I've looked forward to in my life? As a teenager I worked hard in school and made little friends, expecting life to pick up as an adult. But now I'm here. I have a house, a car, a relationship, semi-stable work and income to... Scrape by. It's been getting hard as of late because I have to afford college as well, but thats probably a story for another day...

    I feel very... Isolated. I was never good at making friends, even though I desperately wanted to. I was always the kid who was too shy to do things or to speak to people. Not out of spite, but out of immense and towering fear that I would ruin things worse for myself. Where there was risk, there was me, turning it down for the safer path I knew would lead me down a neutral path that involved no fear or worry, but I was constantly drowning in them. I would have anxiety attacks because of how fearful I became of things, and I would lose sleep over exams and projects. School was a terrible, terrible part of me. But I was good at it, and my teachers saw it. I was constantly held to a very high standard, and I strained myself to reach it. I'm still like that today.... 

    That's where Sedanas comes from. Sedanas is me being what I want to be without feeling anxious and fearful, and being as friendly as possible with everyone and anyone I come across. I'm constantly seeking approval and companionship because I have such little of it in reality, and it's been helping me feel better about myself. I feel like I should have been more like Sedanas when I was younger. Perhaps I wouldn't be such a mess internally as I am now. Perhaps I would feel like I carry worth. Who knows. Whenever someone is cruel or dismissive of Sedanas, -I- take it personally, even though I sometimes really shouldn't. I feel like me being unable to befriend someone is my own fault, and that I am not good enough to be their companion. It's a terrible, terrible feeling and constantly wracks at me. I know know know I shouldn't feel this way, but I have never really known rejection in my life. If I wanted something, I worked hard for it, and I constantly studied and worked until I made it work. I'm starting to see friendship isn't like this, and sometimes people are not.... Worth.... Making friends of.

    I have been working very hard on making friends with everyone and working hard on hunting and studying Lusternia so that I can impress those above me. On the outside, this all sounds very silly, it being a text game of all things, but I've never known these kinds of feelings before, and I become very dependant on them. So much so, in fact, that I've been losing sleep drawing for people and grinding on the monitor next to it at the same time. I've noticed I've stopped eating only when I'm laying on my couch just feet away from my computer, and tell myself I will eat later. It's terrible, terrible! I used to respect my body more than that. I ran track. I was in cross country. I've... Done a lot of running, and a lot of running away from my real issues. I'm an adult now. I should know better. I need to fix this before I do something I regret because something awful happens in Lusternia. I can't leave because then I'm back to silence and self deprecation, and that's the worst feeling of all. I just want friends. I need people to laugh with and make stories with, and I used to think that such an honest and simple wish wouldn't be so painful to yearn for.

    But here I am. Stuck. It's almost 6 AM and I've failed again to get any sleep. I just want to be happy, but perhaps I'm not worthy of such. Maybe I've missed the entire lesson life has tried to show me, and maybe it's too late to learn from it. Maybe... 

  • Xenthos said:
    There is not a better place to post it, but that seems pretty serious-- you might want to look into finding someone you can talk to (on a professional level). Everyone needs help sometime in their lives, there is no reason to feel ashamed or embarrassed about it. It is important that you feel better about yourself, and while games like this can provide some help, most people need some real-life face-to-face interactions too.
    I would love to, really, but I cannot afford the time nor money to put aside to talk to a therapist for an hour every few days. I'm at a very crucial point in my life where my studies and work are all that's keeping me afloat right now and if I stumble in either of them, everything will be ruined. I've thought about it, believe me, but it's not going to happen with my current situation unfortunately.

  • SylandraSylandra Join Queue for Mafia Games The Last Mafia Game
    Speaking as a TA at a university, many professors also have information about those campus resources on-hand and will offer it to you if you let them know what you're struggling with. <3 Best of luck.
    Daraius said:
    "Oh yeah, you're a naughty mayor, aren't you? Misfile that Form MA631-D. Comptroller Shevat's got a nice gemstone disc for you, but yer gonna have to beg for it."
  • So. Cauthorn and I have been subletting a room in our place, and the guy who rented it turned out to literally be the definition of a dropkick, so we asked him to leave because we were essentially having to pay his way every other month. We made some concessions, such as giving him two weeks in which he does not have to pay rent, to make it a little easier on us all around.

    He's been quietly rebellious, such as leaving the heater on in his room 24/7 unless we go in to turn it off, and leaving things all over the house that I need to clean up. And entertaining either of two women. Generally rather loudly, while we're home.Then he asked us to reconsider kicking him out because he's 'comfortable' with the situation. And sending me followup texts to check whether there was any chance.

    And to top of this general unpleasantness in which I an uncomfortable in my own home, the upstairs apartment is being renovated, starting at 7am and finishing around 7pm at night. So there's the noise to deal with. And then the joyous occurance this evening, where they did something to the water up in the kitchen, causing it to run down the pipes in OUR kitchen, leaking inside our cupboards (in lucky chance, I had literally cleaned it out of all random foodstuffs only two days ago). Apparently, according to the plumber who was working up there, all the pipes in their apartment were actually unsealed. So he actually gave it a go at sealing the pipe and sealing their bathroom as well, which should hopefully stop it leaking through when the new tenets clean their bathroom with too much water. (Yes, this has also happened.) 

    And my head is still sore from where I dropped a knife block on it several days ago, and managed to explode a glass coffee jar on the stove and get glass shards in my dinner. 

    Can this week just end, please and thank you? 
    image
  • Sedanas said:
    Xenthos said:
    There is not a better place to post it, but that seems pretty serious-- you might want to look into finding someone you can talk to (on a professional level). Everyone needs help sometime in their lives, there is no reason to feel ashamed or embarrassed about it. It is important that you feel better about yourself, and while games like this can provide some help, most people need some real-life face-to-face interactions too.
    I would love to, really, but I cannot afford the time nor money to put aside to talk to a therapist for an hour every few days. I'm at a very crucial point in my life where my studies and work are all that's keeping me afloat right now and if I stumble in either of them, everything will be ruined. I've thought about it, believe me, but it's not going to happen with my current situation unfortunately.
    How about learning how to dance? Dance, as in, some form of social style like ballroom, salsa, line dance or even flamenco... It could be a once of week thing that gets you out being around people and getting some form of physical contact. It helped me a lot with my bouts of depression in my youth by getting me to let go of myself. I know a lot of people are shy so taking a beginner's class does wonder to boost self-confidence and get the other left foot to act properly. If you're always drawing then it's not too hard to make the mental shift since both are art forms.

    It's hard letting go of old friends. 95% of mine live halfway around the world. You just have to remember that everyone has their own script for their own life story (just as you have your own). I bet in no time you'll be writing in a whole new chapter of new friends you've made (if you haven't done so already!).
  • PhoebusPhoebus tu fui, ego eris. Circumstances
    Woke up suddenly after disappointingly few hours of sleep, feeling like I'm gonna throw up everywhere. :( I have convinced the husband to make me some rice so I have something nice and inoffensive to quell my stomach's sickly whining with. Hope it helps. Bleh.
  • Came home from an exhausting, stressful seven hours of work with no break because I couldn't take the time to take one, to find out that one of our family dogs (really more my dad's dog) is going to be put to sleep tomorrow morning. We found out last week that he had lymphoma.

    My parents were originally going to treat him, which could extend his life for potentially a year or so if it worked, but he's had the worst
    week ever, and people are not going to be home to take care of him in a few weeks, and he'd have the most miserable year of his life. Side effects of the medicine would make him constantly hungry/thirsty/need to use the bathroom and he'd be home alone stuck in a crate for a long stretch of time each day.

    It would be cruel to subject him to that, so they decided for this option instead.

    I am both very angry, and very understanding of the situation.  Angry, because I don't like putting animals down, but understanding because it would be awful for my parents to have to deal with this.

    Going to Boston tomorrow on my day off to see my sister and take my mind off of things.
    --------
    "You are so much bigger than you think you are," She says, fervently. "You are a beacon of hope that shines through the world with every step you take. You are My beacon, Gabriella, and you shine even into the darkest of nightmares."
    --------
    The air sparkles with silver motes of light as a silken voice says, "You will see growth and strength where others will see weakness. You will walk with Us as a paragon of Serenwilde's power, for you have already walked this path before."
  • KagatoKagato Auckland, New Zealand
    edited August 2015
    Gabriella said:
    Came home from an exhausting, stressful seven hours of work with no break because I couldn't take the time to take one, to find out that one of our family dogs (really more my dad's dog) is going to be put to sleep tomorrow morning. We found out last week that he had lymphoma.

    My parents were originally going to treat him, which could extend his life for potentially a year or so if it worked, but he's had the worst
    week ever, and people are not going to be home to take care of him in a few weeks, and he'd have the most miserable year of his life. Side effects of the medicine would make him constantly hungry/thirsty/need to use the bathroom and he'd be home alone stuck in a crate for a long stretch of time each day.

    It would be cruel to subject him to that, so they decided for this option instead.

    I am both very angry, and very understanding of the situation.  Angry, because I don't like putting animals down, but understanding because it would be awful for my parents to have to deal with this.

    Going to Boston tomorrow on my day off to see my sister and take my mind off of things.
    :(  Big hugs for you @Gabriella, I know what it is like to lose a loved pet  -  My family has had to have several dogs put down for various reasons, plus my fiancee recently had to have her dog put down recently, he having developed chronic arthritis - he was a good 16 years old or so though, so he was definitely old in dog terms and she and her parents didn't want him to have to live in constant pain.  Didn't make it any easier though.
    Never put passion before principle.  Even if you win, you lose.

    If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

    If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
  • Kagato said:
    Gabriella said:
    Came home from an exhausting, stressful seven hours of work with no break because I couldn't take the time to take one, to find out that one of our family dogs (really more my dad's dog) is going to be put to sleep tomorrow morning. We found out last week that he had lymphoma.

    My parents were originally going to treat him, which could extend his life for potentially a year or so if it worked, but he's had the worst
    week ever, and people are not going to be home to take care of him in a few weeks, and he'd have the most miserable year of his life. Side effects of the medicine would make him constantly hungry/thirsty/need to use the bathroom and he'd be home alone stuck in a crate for a long stretch of time each day.

    It would be cruel to subject him to that, so they decided for this option instead.

    I am both very angry, and very understanding of the situation.  Angry, because I don't like putting animals down, but understanding because it would be awful for my parents to have to deal with this.

    Going to Boston tomorrow on my day off to see my sister and take my mind off of things.
    :(  Big hugs for you @Gabriella, I know what it is like to lose a loved pet  -  My family has had to have several dogs put down for various reasons, plus my fiancee recently had to have her dog put down recently, he having developed chronic arthritis - he was a good 16 years old or so though, so he was definitely old in dog terms and she and her parents didn't want him to have to live in constant pain.  Didn't make it any easier though.
    Thanks @Kagato for the hugs, I know I need them... I keep going back and forth between feeling perfectly normal and then suddenly feeling like I'm going to burst into tears - because he's a family dog, but I wasn't as close to him as our previous pet - like I said, he was mostly my dad's dog, and he's a really grumpy old troll (he was a stray for at least two years, and didn't outgrow some bad habits when we took him in).  But that aside, even if I didn't get along with him, I still love him on some level, because he's a part of the family. I just hate putting animals down because they're sick - you wouldn't do that to a human, you'd let them have a choice, and I don't think it's fair to the animals that we decide stuff like that.  Of course, I understand that that is really the only way sometimes, because they can't physically tell you themselves what they want.

    And I can't be mad at my parents for changing their minds about treating him, because once the summer is over for us (which is about two weeks), there would be no one home to take care of him with his new symptoms (if he was on steroids, he'd be trading one set of symptoms for the others that you get during the treatment), and he'd be stuck in a crate from about 7 or 8 in the morning to anywhere from 2 pm. or 4 pm in the afternoon. It's too long of a stretch for him to go without food/water/bathroom breaks when he's on a treatment like that, and he'd be miserable. (This is how it was explained to me, and I know it makes sense. I just don't like it.)

    I'm sorry for the semi-rambling here. I just needed to get it out, especially since I was told this morning that there might be a chance that the vet wouldn't be able to do it today, so I'd come home expecting him to be gone, and he'd still be there... I'd be happy for about five seconds until I realized that I would have to go through saying goodbye to him all over again when they actually took him... it's a vicious cycle.
    --------
    "You are so much bigger than you think you are," She says, fervently. "You are a beacon of hope that shines through the world with every step you take. You are My beacon, Gabriella, and you shine even into the darkest of nightmares."
    --------
    The air sparkles with silver motes of light as a silken voice says, "You will see growth and strength where others will see weakness. You will walk with Us as a paragon of Serenwilde's power, for you have already walked this path before."
  • KagatoKagato Auckland, New Zealand
    It's quite understandable - plus it is healthy to get it all out.

    My own rant: been at hospital for the past 2 and a bit hours - I rolled my ankle on Friday and was in so much pain this morning I could not walk on it. Nothing broken but am on crutches for a few days.
    Never put passion before principle.  Even if you win, you lose.

    If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

    If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
  • ShaddusShaddus , the Leper Messiah Outside your window.
    I wish Avechna was real, and anyone who changes lanes without signaling would auto-declare everyone within two car lengths. Then I'd ram the hell of them with no repercussions.

    #petpeeve
    Everiine said: The reason population is low isn't because there are too many orgs. It's because so many facets of the game are outright broken and protected by those who benefit from it being that way. An overabundance of gimmicks (including game-breaking ones), artifacts that destroy any concept of balance, blatant pay-to-win features, and an obsession with convenience that makes few things actually worthwhile all contribute to the game's sad decline.
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