Almost time for family Christmas trip. Get to enjoy a 10-12 hour car ride each way and spending 3 days with my conservative, religious extended family. And every day not doing that for the next 2.5 weeks I'm at work.
Every time somebody tells me to enjoy the holidays I laugh and want to strangle myself.
This is one of my pet peeves. It's unfair to everyone for people to simply dismiss distress and frustration in Lusternia, in Achaea, in WoW, on your local intramural inner tube water polo team, hell even in Counterstrike as "just a game" for we put a part of ourselves out there, be that creatively, competitively or otherwise - anything you spend time and energy on is an investment and it's completely understandable to feel negative emotions when you feel like an investment has soured. For some reason, the online nature of the investment seems to make it more insubstantial and easier to dismiss, but I think, for many of us, that semi-anonymity means that the outlet is even more impactful.
The key is not completely minimizing experiences people may be having, while also recognizing that there are mature and constructive ways to handle setbacks, and a sandbox like Lusternia is the perfect place to practice them. You'll get a lot fewer chances to fix things in RL after you gank a person, trust me. My current philosophy is: don't ignore or dismiss experiences and emotions because they are "just a game"...but also don't indulge in poor behavior and expect sympathy without effort put in to try to handle the fallout. There is nothing wrong with someone controversial admitting that they are in over their heads and could use some help making things fun again.
I have so many angry, stressed out thoughts in my head that I can barely think or do anything. And most of it is sheer manic-depressive-wrath. I hate school. I hate the sensation of feeling like I can't get anything done. I hate being unable to get help from anywhere. I hate the statement "let me know if you need any help" because fuck off you're never any help. I'm just here when you need help. I hate this messed up educational system I'm stuck in. I hate having a bachelor I seemingly can't use. I hate that I keep letting myself be pushed to do things I don't want. I hate having to be the "better man" and suck it up. I hate the fact that because I don't assert myself, people constantly screw me over. I hate the exhaustion of feeling unfairly treated.
Most of all I hate living. "It's a wonderful life" is wrong. Who cares if you improve the lives of others by existing if you're miserable the entire time? Life is not wonderful and I'd take that wish in a heartbeat.
Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
So like... while I'm waiting for the bus tonight one pulls up on the other side of the road with a bit of smoke coming out of it. Next minute, sparks/flames start spurting out of it and then the back of the bus is quickly burning.
Like... there's been forty or something in the last year and they're still dragging feet on getting the fix put into the busses.
As it looks like, I'll be spending solstice alone as opposed to spending it with my mom, as someone in their house contracted some highly infectious stomach disease that's currently spreading around and of course only told his neighbours when he was already ill about it. Mom's been telling me today that she's feeling ill and having vague stomach aches, this is very much making me sad. Especially as the whole thing was avoidable but the person who caught the disease was visting someone who was ill with it and just thought that "He won't catch it." :-(
Am only glad that I'm going to see my dad and my sis around solstice otherwise this would likely ruin it for me. :-(
Family christmas trip might have to be cancelled due to weather/driving conditions, which leaves us all at each others throats because of politics and so on.
Also:
Wanting to try and enjoy a game because the concept of some their features seems novel and new from what I'm used to, but frustrated because every little thing is behind an absurd paywall, and mechanics are in reality equally absurd. My level 0-1 character can somehow find its way into a brook/puddle but can't exit because their 'athletics' skill isn't high enough (I have to train it spamming or scripting get out of puddle 100's of times, but the exp learned from it isn't distributed immediately because I have to wait for brain drain, unless I subscribe for $30/50 month or pay a la carte for that option), I can't use the newbie teleport either because it's a no teleport/peaced holiday event area. I can't reroll the character unless I find a way out of the puddle to the designated place to do so or retire the character on the account completely, cutting me off from using that name ever again. Unless I want it 'restored' to the account for a minor sum of $300. What gets me most of all is that they somehow, somehow have a playerbase of 400+.
#reallyminorproblems in the grand scheme of things
I'm a consent-based roleplayer! Kindly ask first, and I will return the favour. Open to developing tinyplots. Atlantis is my client of choice! (Guide)
I regret taking this job severely. I've never had such a whiny, incompetent, petulant clientele. I've never experienced so many people mad at me for things they did without my involvement. One literally broke state law, and yelled at me for 5 minutes because I wouldn't clear it. "We send you all this business!" "THE STATE OF TEXAS DOES NOT CARE. WHAT YOU ARE ASKING ME TO DO IS ILLEGAL."
Think I might have an arm infection. Over the past few days it's been really achey, like a bad pulled muscle, whenever I extend my left arm, and now today it's so much worse, plus it feels itchy and hot and I have some lymph node swelling. All those fun signs that something's up. Hooray. Looks like I get to continue my holiday tradition of going to Patient First at Christmastime.
Somehow I always pull a muscle along the neck and shoulder area in my back at this time of year.
Today it seems I'm keeping up that traditional.
Man, I pulled something in the middle of my back yesterday squatting hardly anything. I did it about 5 minutes before my chiropractor closes for the day, so I get this fun through the whole holiday weekend. I'm afraid to check if they're open on Monday. I'm more pissed off about the fact that I got injured on what felt like a good rep, at a weight that is no where near to what I've done before, than I am about the pain for the weekend. Really frustrating.
Then for some reason I microwaved my heat pack for too long and it exploded, haha.
Adding to my joy, Dad's sick, so that means I'm on my own for Christmas Eve dinner aaaand I don't really have any food here I want to eat because I wasn't planning on being here for meals the next couple of days. Can of soup and a protein bar for dinner I guess :P
Think I might have an arm infection. Over the past few days it's been really achey, like a bad pulled muscle, whenever I extend my left arm, and now today it's so much worse, plus it feels itchy and hot and I have some lymph node swelling. All those fun signs that something's up. Hooray. Looks like I get to continue my holiday tradition of going to Patient First at Christmastime.
Infection symptoms turned out to be a red herring. Instead I'm being put on blood clot watch, with orders to go to the hospital if my arm gets at all worse. Yeah...I'd rather have the infection, thanks.
As I stare ate my 22k hospital bill... I am left to wonder ... how does being hospitalized make my stay in the hospital not medically necessary
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EveriineWise Old Swordsbird / BrontaurIndianapolis, IN, USA
I am not ready for tonight. I have 4 hours to be ready for tonight.
BRING IT.
Everiine is a man, and is very manly. This MAN before you is so manly you might as well just gender bend right now, cause he's the manliest man that you ever did see. His manly shape has spurned many women and girlyer men to boughs of fainting. He stands before you in a manly manerific typical man-like outfit which is covered in his manly motto: "I am a man!"
Daraius said: You gotta risk it for the biscuit.
Pony power all the way, yo. The more Brontaurs the better.
I am not ready for tonight. I have 4 hours to be ready for tonight.
BRING IT.
I like how, to prepare, you are posting on the forums of an online game.
What better way than to get your e-friends/enemies to pump you up?
Avurekhos says, "Dylara's a PvP menace in my eyes, totes rekting face."
The eye of Dylara materialises in your hands and flings itself around your neck, tightening incomprehensibly until it is irremovable. Perfectly clean, this eyeball has been wrenched from the socket of Dylara. It has been animated by some unusual force, constantly looking around itself as if in shock or fear. It is bathed in a light covering of white flames that roll endlessly over its surface. A single chain of empyreal metal pierces either side of the eye, allowing it to be worn around the neck.
I am not ready for tonight. I have 4 hours to be ready for tonight.
BRING IT.
I like how, to prepare, you are posting on the forums of an online game.
Could be worse, I could have been playing the online game.
But, got everything I needed to get done for tonight in 2 hours. Feeling pretty good at about. Just leaves packing when we get home. Not feeling pretty good about that.
Everiine is a man, and is very manly. This MAN before you is so manly you might as well just gender bend right now, cause he's the manliest man that you ever did see. His manly shape has spurned many women and girlyer men to boughs of fainting. He stands before you in a manly manerific typical man-like outfit which is covered in his manly motto: "I am a man!"
Daraius said: You gotta risk it for the biscuit.
Pony power all the way, yo. The more Brontaurs the better.
@Everiine isn't as half as bad as I feel. I did everything at 3am and I had to drive the giant wrapped box of tiny wrapped boxes 30 mins away and then respond appropriately to the joy at said wrapped things for a whole hour. But I am done with Christmas now. Hot cross bun season!! Wooooo. :>
Sigh. Another disappointing Christmas. I'm starting to consider getting scheduled to work next one just to not have to bother with it.
I will coincidently not have any vacation days left for the next family holiday. And probably the majority of the ones following that for the foreseeable future
EveriineWise Old Swordsbird / BrontaurIndianapolis, IN, USA
Does papa bird need to slash somebody?
Everiine is a man, and is very manly. This MAN before you is so manly you might as well just gender bend right now, cause he's the manliest man that you ever did see. His manly shape has spurned many women and girlyer men to boughs of fainting. He stands before you in a manly manerific typical man-like outfit which is covered in his manly motto: "I am a man!"
Daraius said: You gotta risk it for the biscuit.
Pony power all the way, yo. The more Brontaurs the better.
The niece gave us all a stomach bug for Christmas. It gets a lot harder to keep yourself from throwing up when you constantly have to listen to other people throwing up. Eeeugh.
Carrie Fisher, man. I don't generally pay much attention to celebrity deaths, but what an incredible human. She lived unapologetically with the truth of her disease. All the respect in the world galaxy for the way she used her platform.
Comments
The key is not completely minimizing experiences people may be having, while also recognizing that there are mature and constructive ways to handle setbacks, and a sandbox like Lusternia is the perfect place to practice them. You'll get a lot fewer chances to fix things in RL after you gank a person, trust me. My current philosophy is: don't ignore or dismiss experiences and emotions because they are "just a game"...but also don't indulge in poor behavior and expect sympathy without effort put in to try to handle the fallout. There is nothing wrong with someone controversial admitting that they are in over their heads and could use some help making things fun again.
Most of all I hate living. "It's a wonderful life" is wrong. Who cares if you improve the lives of others by existing if you're miserable the entire time? Life is not wonderful and I'd take that wish in a heartbeat.
Like... there's been forty or something in the last year and they're still dragging feet on getting the fix put into the busses.
Am only glad that I'm going to see my dad and my sis around solstice otherwise this would likely ruin it for me. :-(
Also:
Wanting to try and enjoy a game because the concept of some their features seems novel and new from what I'm used to, but frustrated because every little thing is behind an absurd paywall, and mechanics are in reality equally absurd. My level 0-1 character can somehow find its way into a brook/puddle but can't exit because their 'athletics' skill isn't high enough (I have to train it spamming or scripting get out of puddle 100's of times, but the exp learned from it isn't distributed immediately because I have to wait for brain drain, unless I subscribe for $30/50 month or pay a la carte for that option), I can't use the newbie teleport either because it's a no teleport/peaced holiday event area. I can't reroll the character unless I find a way out of the puddle to the designated place to do so or retire the character on the account completely, cutting me off from using that name ever again. Unless I want it 'restored' to the account for a minor sum of $300. What gets me most of all is that they somehow, somehow have a playerbase of 400+.
#reallyminorproblems in the grand scheme of things
I'm a consent-based roleplayer! Kindly ask first, and I will return the favour. Open to developing tinyplots.
Atlantis is my client of choice! (Guide)
Today it seems I'm keeping up that traditional.
The divine voice of Avechna, the Avenger reverberates powerfully, "Congratulations, Morkarion, you are the Bringer of Death indeed."
You see Estarra the Eternal shout, "Morkarion is no more! Mourn the mortal! But welcome True Ascendant Karlach, of the Realm of Death!
Then for some reason I microwaved my heat pack for too long and it exploded, haha.
Adding to my joy, Dad's sick, so that means I'm on my own for Christmas Eve dinner aaaand I don't really have any food here I want to eat because I wasn't planning on being here for meals the next couple of days. Can of soup and a protein bar for dinner I guess :P
BRING IT.
The eye of Dylara materialises in your hands and flings itself around your neck, tightening incomprehensibly until it is irremovable.
Perfectly clean, this eyeball has been wrenched from the socket of Dylara. It has been animated by some unusual force, constantly looking around itself as if in shock or fear. It is bathed in a light covering of white flames that roll endlessly over its surface. A single chain of empyreal metal pierces either side of the eye, allowing it to be worn around the neck.
But, got everything I needed to get done for tonight in 2 hours. Feeling pretty good at about. Just leaves packing when we get home. Not feeling pretty good about that.
RIP both George Michael and Carrie Fisher... T_T
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?